November is the month of challenges

I decided to go for NaBloPoMo this month to get me back into writing. Writing! Imagine that! Of course, in true Bapryll fashion, I decided this on November SECOND so today is backdated so I can think I did it instead of failing from the onset. Weekends will be hard for me as I don’t log onto a computer on the weekends generally. I’ll need to get back into blogging via iPad. Heh. We shall see. I’m also not yet on the blogroll for such things because Google Docs and my computer are frenemies and have decided to ignore each other in public. Basically, I have forgotten that this blog exists. I have a lot in my head that I’d love to get out, and I stopped remembering how that works. How does that work?

Challenge number two is that I signed up for a BettyRocker 30-day workout challenge. Here’s the thought process: I hate to workout. I hate it. So can I get 15 minutes under my belt and work toward kicking my butt back into running? The time change means that theoretically I could get up an hour earlier and work out and shower before readying for work (again, we’ll discount Sunday AND Monday when I couldn’t pull myself out of bed to save my sorry life) so there it is. 15 minutes. I can do this.

And hand in hand with a Betty Rocker Challenge is that I am challenging myself to keep myself accountable for food for 30 days via Myfitnesspal. Blargh. Except that Sunday I have to figure out how to log a handful of items from the International Folk Fair, ¾ a bottle of Prosecco and a meatball hoagie. Yeahhhh.

I’m sure that I’ll come up with more challenges during the month like it’s my very own pre-NYE intentions list. But three challenges in one month. That’s doable, right? Right.

Movies I’ve found myself wishing were on Netflix/Amazon Prime

Crazy Stupid Love

A League of Their Own

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

The Bodyguard

Housesitter

Mr. Holland’s Opus

Where the Heart Is

Sweet Home Alabama

Pleasantville

Election

Under the Tuscan Sun

The Sweetest Thing

Forget Paris

Movies I've watched more than my fair share: 

Leap Year

Friday Five plus some

Things are rolling along here. I had to pull up the blog to see what I had written about and what I had not, and let’s see. School: still chugging along. We’ve had some growing pains as a family trying to figure out what fits into what time slot and still leaves time for everything else on our plates. After the one crazy day of doing the wrong homework and being up obscenely late, we’ve settled into proper routine and school has been great except for one giant mess which I talked about on twitter but I won’t here. This feels more permanent and I just want to forget it happened.

1.       Henry’s social anxiety, while it was bad during the thing that I won’t talk about, has had an amazing 180 turn. Here’s how it usually goes. We go somewhere, somewhere that he knows and he knows some or all of the people. He cries and doesn’t want to go, and when we get there he hides and refuses to interact with anyone and generally impedes not only his own enjoyment but mine because I can’t interact with people and make him somehow comfortable. This has never really stopped us from putting him in that situation because we always hoped he would work his way out of it, but it’s been rough. When we occasionally go over our neighbor’s house, he has mostly stayed in the living room whine-crying and if there is dinner involved, I have to set him up in another room so no one can see him eat.

LAST NIGHT I went to one of those Usborne books parties at the same friends’ house. I dragged the kids bc they don’t like when I pick out books for them. Henry never had an issue, right from the first step in the door. There were strange adults there, a few loud kids. He played and talked to me in front of them and even picked out books from a catalog at the same table with people he didn’t know. I don’t know how to properly express how amazing this is. I noticed it, but also didn’t notice it because he wasn’t making it hard for me so I was just going about my business when my friend said several times how amazing H was being. He was being amazing by just being a regular, not anxious, not shy kid. It was HUGE. (also he talked me into buying him a lot of books.)

2.       I hurt my hip earlier this week and I don’t even know how but it hurts. Some sort of muscle problem. Really bad on Wednesday, better on Thursday but by the night I was hobbling again, and sore again today. This crap really needs to work itself out because pain just doesn’t work for me. It doesn’t fit in with my everyday life.

3.       I’ve been reading a lot again lately, but I’ve been stalling on a book. It seems to be a good book but my fun and exciting YA supernatural books are so much more enthralling. I think if I sat down and committed to this other book, I would really appreciate it. Maybe not. Maybe at least I’d know though.

4.       A friend from high school/college/worked with in college sent me this note on Goodreads. I hadn’t been on it in a while because I was really behind on updating but I’m back now and fully updated. It was so sweet and appreciated.

5.       First game of fall ball is tomorrow! It’s a double header! This is going to be … long, it’s going to be long. As team mom I need to figure out food between the games, and keep an eye on one of the kids whose mom is out of town. So two games, and also we have tickets to tomorrow night’s Rays game. We won’t be staying for the Sister Hazel concert afterward. Full day! Fun day! I’m excited to see Spencer play again.

• +1 My anxiety has been spiking lately, but I don’t know if it’s worth a separate doctor’s appointment to reevaluate my meds or if it’s just something to power through. No sobbing, no worrisome issues really (last time I held out too long for an appointment I was in really rough shape by the time I got to my previously scheduled appointment). Just a lot of that horrible can’t-breathe feelings, a few unprovoked panic attacks, a couple periods of the sads (depression is really not usually a problem for me). Nothing huge, just a lot of little stuff. Not remembering if I took my nightly anxiety meds and then worried to take what might be more but worried I can’t sleep otherwise; random insomnia despite taking my night pills. Ugh. I have an appointment for 10 days from now but I’m going to be out of town for work and have to reschedule. I can’t reschedule that particular appointment for earlier as it’s also my yearly, but do I go longer? Do I wait it out? Nothing feels particularly overwhelming by itself, but that’s what I thought before and I was holding on more tenuously than I realized. I also don’t really want to be on more meds. I need to find a way to chill myself out.

• +2  Fall colds and allergies really bite.

One Day (not the book, but it feels like a novel)

I took no pictures and didn’t keep a running tab of the day to write cute little blurbs about how I spent my day yesterday. I didn’t even decide to write this until 10:18pm when I was waiting for my meds to kick in. I keep an eye on the clock most of the time, so I can say that these times are relatively accurate although I didn’t put specifics for every item.

Anyhow, so this is a day in the life of a working mother with two children, kinder and second, a work-from-home-husband, a cat, baseball, and too much to do with not enough time to do it.

I was supposed to be up at 5:45am so I could take a real shower, but less than six hours of tossing and turning and my body could not be dragged out of bed. I realized I overslept at 6:28am, and needed to be out the door at 6:45. I could not skip the shower – my hair was chlorinated from swimming the day before and obviously I should have taken it then, but obviously I didn’t. So shower, ready, grab my stuff and I’m out the door at 6:50. The kids are still asleep and I’d give them a kiss to wake them off and send them to school, but then they’d want to talk and be all snuggly and I just can’t. My husband will wake them, get them ready and out to school after I leave.

I get to work at 7:20. I work until 3:20. Somewhere in there I took a lunch and ran over to the grocery for a healthy lunch and snacks – I’ve decided to start back on the healthy train but I’m very close to derailment. I start counting the calories of the candies I’m not eating. It’s a lot.

I left early because Henry has a doctor’s appointment (my usually stop time is 4:00). I left 10 minutes earlier than I planned bc I really need to stop by my mom’s between pick up and appointment, but there still didn’t end up time. Picked up the kids, stopped by home to pick up baseball clothes, cleats, and lap desks because neither child is done with homework.

4:30p doctor’s appointment. The whole reason I dragged Spencer with us is bc we always do flu shots at the same time, but they are out. So hurray. H’s appointment went fine, he was really good except that he didn’t like that there were robots on his underwear and didn’t want the doctor to see them. His eyes are fine, which I had worried about.

4:47p leaving the doctor. Baseball practice was going to be at 7pm, but midday the coach changed it to 6. I was going to drive through somewhere but the kids want McD’s and I was going to get Chic-fila and instead I call C and have him through some pigs in a blanket in the toaster oven. We work on Spencer's homework in the car. REAL QUESTION ON HIS HOMEWORK: "if a number has two digits and the first one is 8 more than the second and the second is not zero, what is the number?"

SECOND GRADE, FOLKS.

We get home, Spencer finishes his homework (we think, DUN DUN DUN) and I help Henry with drawing and labeling a thermometer which was his homework. C leaves to take Spencer to the ballpark at 5:40. I grab the library books and Henry and we stop in to exchange books and retain 5 that he just loved so much. (Stickand Stone. He won’t give this book up)  There’s a book for me too, which I didn’t even realize. I’m way behind on my ebooks too. H and I get to the ballpark at 6:10p, and I resume team mom duties of collecting straggling uniform pants payments and feeling bad because apparently I missed a player’s mom in the text with the time change for practice. I was never given a roster, I’m just filling up my paper calendar with this stuff. I leave with H about seven, and we hit Target (toothbrush, toothpaste, swimmer’s ear drops, and I let him pick out two new flavors of applesauce pouches even though I know for a fact he won’t eat the peach), drive through Panera (thank god for drive through Panera), get gas and get home.

 Hey look! Cute picture of Henry! 

He was super excited to pick out a purple toothbrush and Avengers toothpaste.

Home at 7:50pm. Throw Henry in shower and make him a second dinner (marmalade sandwich, grapes, peach gogo applesauce that surprise! He didn’t like!), make lunches for tomorrow for the kids, grab Henry out of the shower and set up Inspector Gadget for him in my room while he dries off and gets in his unders for bed. He eschews pjs these days. He eats second dinner on the floor in my bedroom while watching IG.

I clean the kitchen, move my salad from Panera from the kitchen counter to the dining room table and turn on my work computer to pay some invoices. Francine has been stalking me for food because she’s usually fed before then.

(see? She’s not amused.)

C and S get home about 8:20 and I’ve already laid out pjs and a towel for Spencer so he gets in the shower while Henry finishes up brushing teeth. We’ve only got time for one book (8:27p) so we read Bernice Gets Carried Away (I put all of Everyday Reading’s kid book recommendations on hold the other day). 8:30p ON THE NOSE. Lights and music for Henry. I’m dead on my feet.

I come out and Spencer is out of the shower and into pjs so I have to put his ear drops in, Henry comes back out to see what the commotion is about. Probably shouldn’t have done this in the living room but I was hoping the baseball game would distract him. While he’s recovering from that horror and is doing his 15-20 minutes of reading for his reading log, I glance at his homework and realize HE DID THE WRONG HOMEWORK. Apparently the teacher sent it home in two stapled packets – language arts and math. So he did all the math (for the WEEK) and didn’t even SEE the other packet and of course one those pages is due in the morning. So. After reading is done, we start on reading comprehension and DON’T GET ME STARTED.


PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU CAN USE CONTEXT ON THIS PAGE TO KNOW WHAT A CREEK IS?

Okay, the page made no sense. We muddled through (there’s a note going back to school with that sheet if I ever get around to writing it) and then he had to log his reading time and finally he was able to brush his teeth and get to bed. 9:47. His bedtime is also 8:30. Bah.

I was eating my dinner while I Spencer read and did homework and dude, eating at 8:45pm is not my sweet spot. I ate a Babybel cheese wheel directly after dinner and glared at my water bottle for not being filled with alcohol but I did it. All day, barely under my calorie allotment. I didn’t get my abs workout done (sorry Ryan Gosling) but I just couldn’t. I took a shower because I really truly needed to shave my legs but I had an anxiety attack in the shower that I did not see coming so the shower took longer due to all the focusing on breathing. Blow dried my hair. Forgot to put my moisturizing cream on but really I hate my current night cream. It’s burny.

I contemplate sending a baseball team email because we are having a practice game Friday and need to collect ump fees but it doesn’t get done. I complain about that blasted reading comprehension page to my friends and feel bad I wasn’t there for them that much today. I take half a med tablet for my anxiety and climb into bed with the rest of my night meds on the nightstand. I can’t get my work done. I’m just too darn tired.

There’s a lot that gets done behind the scenes – my husband always gets upset at these things because it doesn’t take into account how much he does, and he does a lot. He made lunches and got everyone dressed, fed and out the door this morning, he worked a full day and was still working when I got home from the dr apt. He dealt with his half of the baseball crazy and got S home afterward. My path is full steam ahead when there’s a lot on my plate so I end up overcompensating. I know that. I know that he would have done more if I would have sat myself down. I don’t really know how to do that very often.

So I get into bed and lo – a Xanax pill rolls out from beneath my covers. Apparently I did not take my meds the previous night and that is why I slept so very poorly. I thought I had taken it, I almost remember taking it and therefore I wouldn’t take anymore even though it was so very bad. But good news! Now we can rule out psychosomatic sleep disorder, I’d think. I officially pop the rest of my sleep meds, wait for them to kick in, type up this post and decide it is time for lights out, although I think C is having a dream because his foot keeps shaking the footboard of the bed. That’s gonna be fun. Let’s just hope my meds keep me out all night.

Signing off, 11:14pm.

Fall Ball

So it turns out when you get really irritated by lack of communication and lack of schedule, you end up volunteering/being-stared-at-when-the-group-is-asked-for-a-volunteer for team mom. So I am now team mom for Spencer’s fall baseball team. I actually secretly love it, because I have a tendency to badger for correct information and schedules and want updates for everything, so now I have a focus (badger the coach) and can make sure the information *I* wanted and felt we needed is disseminated to the parents. Long emails, text reminders ... I don't know if everyone appreciates them, but so help me, word is going to get out.

Fall ball is way lower key than spring, and I find myself missing the rigor and practice (as much as I complained! I know that I complained!) because it was so good for S. He so loves playing and practicing and being among like-minded kids. This weekend he told me how much he misses his old team. It’s not the he doesn’t like the new team, it’s just that it’s completely different. The coach is more laid back, most of the kids are new – either from the tee ball teams or new to baseball all together – and he just thrives on more structure. I like the coach fine (he’s a dad from last season’s team and works for the ball park) but I hear the old coach from across the park and miss it.

The good thing about this, though, is that bc Spencer is more experienced, he gets to play infield (for practices so far) as opposed to when he was one of the less experienced and spent all his time in right field. He played right field, second base and third base this last practice and he did so well.

So we’ll keep going, and Spencer will hopefully keep getting better and will be ready for Spring Ball when it starts. 

What 4 months of reading Yields (What I read: May-August)

May

reread:

2. The Prince - Kiera Cass

new:

32. The Rosie Project - Graeme C. Simsion - ebook expired before I finished

33. The House of Silk - Anthony Horowitz audio, abandoned. Sherlock Holmes too much intro

34. Halfway to the Grave - Jeaniene Frost - awful, abandoned, audiobook

35. Lock and Key - Sarah Dessen

36. The Guard - Kiera Cass

37. The Queen - Kiera Cass

38. The Ruby Circle - Richelle Mead

39. The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins

40. Burn for Burn - Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

41. The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin abandoned, unfortunate circumstance of not enjoying self-help or non-fiction.

42. What Happened to Goodbye - Sarah Dessen

43. That Summer - Sarah Dessen

June 

New:

44. These Broken Stars - Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner

45. Scene of the Climb - Kate Dyer-Seeley

46. Etiquette & Espionage - Gail Carringer

47. Curtsies & Conspiracies - Gail Carringer

48. Waistcoats & Weaponry - Gail Carringer

49. Before I Go to Sleep - S.J. Watson

50. Saint Anything - Sarah Dessen

51. Eyes on You - Kate White

52. Trial and Temptation - Ruby Lionsdrake

53. The Assassin's Salvation - Ruby Lionsdrake

54. The Ruins of Karzelek - Ruby Lionsdrake

55. The Scorpio Races - Maggie Stiefvater

56. Soulless - Gail Carriger

57. Changeless - Gail Carriger

58. Blameless - Gail Carriger

59. Atlantia - Ally Condie

60. Heartless - Gail Carriger

61. Timeless - Gail Carriger

The Rosie Project - Graeme C. Simsion (finish from May)

62. The Heir - Keira Cass

63. Prudence - Gail Carriger

64. The Truth About Forever - Sarah Dessen audio

65. Someone Like You - Sarah Dessen audio

July

new:

66. Big Girl Panties - Stephanie Evanovich

67. The Sweet Spot - Stephanie Evanovich

68. Red Rising - Pierce Brown

69. Golden Son - Piece Brown

70. Shadow and Bone - Leigh Bardugo

71. Still Life - Louise Penny audio

72. The Witch of Painted Sorrows - M.J. Rose - abandoned audiobook halfway through, terrible.

73. Seige and Storm - Leigh Barduga

74. Ruin and Rising - Leigh Barduga

75. Moon & More - Sara Dessen

76. Storm Siren - Mary Weber

77. The Kiss of Deception - Mary E. Pearson audio

78. A Fatal Grace - Louise Penny audio

August

new

79. Throne of Glass - Sarah J Maas

80. Scarlett - A C Gaughen

81. Lady Thief - A C Gaughen

82. Lion Heart - A C Gaughen

83. As You Wish - Cary Elwes audio

84. Yes Please - Amy Poehler

85. The Boy Who Could See Demons - Carolyn Jess-Cooke

86. The Boy who Drew Monsters - Keith Donohue

87. Diplomats and Fugitives - Lindsay Buroker

88. The Stories I Only Tell My Friends - Rob Lowe audio

89. The Heart of Betrayal - Mary E. Pearson audio

90. The Blade's Memory - Lindsay Buroker

91. Warrior Mage - Lindsay Buroker

92. Life Drawing - Robin Black

93. Crown of Midnight - Sarah J Maas

94. Heir of Fire - Sarah J Maas

95. The Cruelest Month - Louise Penny

96. The King's Guard - Rae Carson

97. The Shattered Mountain - Rae Carson

What's with all the clutter?

So I wouldn’t say I necessarily buy into any particular trend of getting rid of clutter (cough-KonMari-cough) but also I don’t have the brain power to care about reading those books and having some sort of aha! Moment. You do? Excellent. I mostly glean what I know off my friends who do, and I figure the basics of all the methods is “you don’t need the majority of what you have. Keep what you actually use/like/”brings you joy” and get rid of the rest.” I find that what inspires me to get rid of things is when Ashley blogs about decluttering and I think “hey, I should empty out [pretty much anything]”. A couple months ago it was my nightstand. C came in and said “we should send a picture of this to IKEA to show them how much this thing can hold. It’s impressive.” 

Last month it was the spice cabinet (which I didn’t get rid of a lot because I do a lot of cooking, but I did a lot of organizing, which felt good). 

I also got some bins for the pantry for snacks for the kids because I have never been good at handing off the reins to them to get their own snacks. That felt good. Two days ago this was my project:

  

We have this little antique desk and we never clean it out. Even when we’ve moved, we just haul the whole thing from one place to another. I didn’t take a before photo, but this is all the stuff I took out of it. Part of my decluttering is just acknowledging that we have a lot of crap that has built up and the easiest way for my sanity is to get rid of it all and start anew. 

So I got rid of this box of crayons and other writing implements which were in every drawer and everywhere, and bought one new large box of crayons. I saved one set of colored pencils, one set of markers an a handful of pencils that I confirmed sharpened well and then I donated everything else to a friend’s church for the kids. I now have one drawer of batteries (we go through a lot). I have the coloring implements on the desktop so they stay clean instead of a jumbled mess. Otherwise – empty.

It’s lovely.

Future projects:

-          the linen closet. I do this all the time and it’s a disaster two weeks later. I need to be ruthless.

-          The office closet – we haven’t opened this closet in seven years. It’s … not good.

-          A good scrubbing of the refrigerator. I am the only one who cleans it out and I don’t usually give myself time to clean it well. There are a lot of jars of sauces that need to be trashed.

-          Under the bathroom sinks. It’s … I don’t need most of that crap.

-          The pots/pans/Tupperware. I ordered a new set of Tupperware and I’m getting rid of all the old stuff. All. Gone.

-          The box of school papers from S’s first grade year and Henry’s VPK. I generally keep everything for the year and then at the end sort it and pick a few items and the rest of it goes in the recycling. A new school year means I need to get rid of the last year’s stuff. Also, I probably need two boxes now. Ugh.

I think that’s a good start. I was pretty ruthless with the kids’ toys before Christmas this last year and between that and the post-Christmas redo of their room I got rid of a LOT of stuff. Unfortunately it will probably need to be done again before Christmas this year.