I'm not sure I'm ready to go back to blogging. Not my old way anyhow. I just thought, maybe, I'd keep a collection. Thoughts I need to get out of my brain. Things I would normally put on Twitter or Facebook but don't have that outlet. I don't know if anyone will read this.
I've cried several times tonight. I was wandering around our small kitchen trying to will myself to start dinner (shrimp was thawed, it was the starting point I lacked). C stopped my nervous round and round movements and I just sobbed on his chest. I don't know why. He asked me what needed starting and got rice on while I de-tailed the shrimp. Once I started, it was autopilot. The movement of cooking is so soothing, but everything tastes the same. I eat because I'm supposed to eat.
The second time was when a friend texted a picture of a sunset. It was so beautiful. I can always tell where my headspace is when in a good spot because my drive home includes going over a bridge and the glitter of the sun on the water makes everything sparkle. I didn't notice the water at all today. Was there even sun? C talked me into sitting outside earlier while he practiced baseball with the boys. It was better than bed. I'm so tired.
