Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I'm back to feeling like I'm always complaining on this thing, but Oh My God the past couple weeks, and specifically the last couple days have kicked my ass.

Work is rough, like drowning-rough. There's not even any complaining I can do because it can't be helped. Then Spencer's sickness - we went to the doctor on Friday AND on Sunday because I was convinced that he had a burst appendix or something. No sleep, crying non-stop for three days, rocking, not eating, holding his stomach.Turns out he had some sort of stomach bug that gave him horrible gas bubbles, but we found that out with an ultrasound. Hoo-boy.

Then Hubby caught Spencer's bug (he apologized to S for thinking he was faking, because it really is that bad), and Henry started staying up ALL NIGHT (one hour of sleep last night. One).

And it's Wednesday and I brought work home that I can't bear to do because I'm so tired, Henry won't go to sleep so I can't take Spencer to bed, we have a gnat problem that I can't deal with and all I want to do is SLEEP.

Please God, let me sleep tonight.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sunday

Sunday before dawn appears to be the perfect time to churn out a couple of those blog posts that I've been meaning to write but haven't had the time or drive to do so. Sunday, before dawn, while listening to the monsoon outside that I didn't realize we were going to get while I watched coverage on our Eastern neighbors' friendly hurricane.

Hurricanes don't mean much to me. I know I should be better prepared. We always have water on hand, and there's a bunch of propane in the garage and camping supplies in the attic if we were to need alternative cooking sources, and a ridiculous amount of food in the deep freezer. There hasn't been a major threat to the Tampa Bay area since we bought our house, so there's been no need for plywood or duct taped windows or any of that nonsense. The last major threat was the year of Charley, when Frances and Ivan rolled through in 2004. My apartment was without power for a couple days, but that was really the extent. The last hurricane I remember being affect by was Elena in '85. My mom and I lived in a mobile home so we had to evacuate, and I remember sitting in this old woman's condo (I think it belonged to a friend of my Gram) staring out her sliding glass doors watching the rain. I don't think it actually hit the area; I was five, so it was memorable to me.

But anyhow. I hope that my friends up north are all safe. I've been watching facebook statuses, so as of midnight or so everyone was good.

Here. S has been weirdly sick for the last several days. Have I mentioned his insomnia? He has been waking up all night, wandering around the house and not sleeping since Wednesday night. The lack of sleep has made him generally crabby, but there was a culmination Friday when he quite literally didn't stop crying all day. As one who is passed the toddler stage into the kid stage, all-day crying is not exactly the norm. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't play, he just napped a little and cried and ASKED ME TO TAKE HIM TO THE DOCTOR. This child has been petrified of the doctor since he was two. Wanting to see the doctor is not normal. Crying all day is not normal.

So Henry was already due for his one-year appointment so we got Spencer in at the same time. They ran all the tests and even pricked his finger to run the viral tests with no luck. We couldn't figure out what was wrong. He had a bellyache, light and sound sensitivity, difficulty sleeping for longer than an hour, malaise, no appetite and extreme restlessness. On the way home from the doctor I got him to drink an orange freeze from Steak n Shake, and things seemed a little better ... and then they weren't. Friday night he slept with me in my bed and he was so restless that Hubby slept on the couch. Saturday morning was a lot of the same. By this time I he hadn't eaten or drank anything since that milkshake, and not much prior to it. We forced him to eat breakfast because I was worried about a) dehydration and b) that some of his tummyache was related to hunger.

I was seriously worried about this sickness. S has NEVER been slowed down by being sick, even a couple double ear infections as a child, and he's never had a major sickness. He was complaining so much about his stomach I was worried it was his gall bladder or appendix or something down there that he needed to see the hospital about. But eating seemed to help a little, and I forced him to take a shower because that always helped me when I wasn't feeling good. I had to dump a crying child into the water and leave him there because he refused, but it really did turn around his mood, and he even played in the bath with Henry for a little bit afterward.

He said he was feeling well enough and wanted to go to the pool party we planned on attending, so I thought he was getting better and we went ahead and went. About 1.5 hours in, he was feeling the same again so we toughed it out for a little bit and then headed home. I picked up some children's Pepto and chewable laxatives, and we tried that out.

Success with the laxative! (I know, gross, but yay!) He napped a bit the rest of Saturday, but by dinnertime he was feeling well enough to ask for pepperoni pizza (I had no idea he liked pepperoni) so we had a small one delivered and he ate half a piece. Indulgences you will cave to for the health of your child. He played a little with H, fell asleep like normal, and I think he only woke up 4 times and was fairly easy to get back to sleep in his own bed, so I'm (crossing my fingers) hopeful that we are on an upturn.

I'm making french toast this morning with the hopes that drowning something in syrup will get him excited to eat again. Otherwise I'm going to need more wine for adult cherry milkshakes.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Take a deep breath - it's Friday!

This has been one of those weeks. But it's over! Well, sort of: I'm writing this on Thursday night so I still need to GET THROUGH Friday. But here are some things to be thankful for:

* Hubby started his job this week. It has been uneventful, as he's basically gone to work for the company who outsourced his original job. They're a little ... inefficient. But whatever - he's getting paid for it! And he's happy to be working, no matter what the job is. And I'm happy he's working, because he's happy.

* I bought a cherry pitter for the sole reason that I wanted to make this Cherry Sherbet. That contraption is amazing! Where has it been all my life? I want to make cherry pie and cherry granita and anything else that I can use a cherry pitter for.

* What? you say I can use my cherry pitter to pit olives too? Martinis for everyone!

* There is now cherry sherbet getting good and frozen in my freezer.

* I went crazy for a BOGO meat sale, and I spent $90 at a grocery store ... and saved $65. No coupons.

* That's a lot of meat. Nine meals of chicken, two of country ribs, four meals of pork chops, 1lb of beef (specifically to try out this dill pickle meatloaf tomorrow night), and three lbs of tilapia - which I think is about 4 meals.

* Plus a couple other items. Cheese, eggs, BOGO whole wheat Ritz crackers. The necessities.

* ONE DAY I will post about Henry's birthday. ONE DAY I will post about Delaware/Philly. ONE DAY. But right now I have to go to sleep so I can get up and work for awhile and take Henry to his doctor's appointment and then take the kids with me to a going-away happy hour (bar AND grill, people) then make meatloaf then go to sleep and then Saturday there is a birthday pool party and OHMYGOD I still need to get a present for that and the Sunday is lunch an hour away with a friend to bring her a crib mattress and additional accoutrements for her impending baby ... And then maybe Sunday afternoon I can breathe.

* Yes, Sunday around 5pm I can breathe.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

My typical day.

So. Today was not typical, and it was not great and I didn't get to eat until after 3:30 so frankly I'm still a little hungry and frustrated and can't wait for my mommy's group tonight where I can vent and drink a glass of wine and have dinner with friends while the boys hang out with my friends' kids. I. Can't. Wait. But since I'd rather not complain about my day, I figured I would walk you through my typical day like Jennie did, and she got it from Ginger, who I've never read but looks like fun and might have to be added to the ever growing RSS feed.

5:30 am alarm goes off. I never hear it until Hubby hits the snooze about 6 dozen times.

6:06 am I realize that I haven't taken a shower since Saturday when I shaved my legs, and I need one. Now.

6:10 am I fumble into the shower

6:30 am Hubby gets up to start getting ready now that he is gainfully employed again (hurrah!) I duck around him to finish getting ready while he gets ready.

6:45 am I wake the chillin's, because one of them (varies from day to day) is not awake. Half the time S has woken during my snooze-fest and climbed into my bed and fallen back asleep. Throw clothes on children, make sure diaper bag is packed, they have drinks and maybe possibly food. Otherwise, they eat at daycare. Hubby takes them to daycare because if they get in the car with me, they assume they're staying with me and freak out when I try to pry them from my car.

7:00 am I leave (although I'm supposed to be at work by now)

7:20-11 am arrive at work, get overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do, bury myself in it while occasionally checking FB and my googlereader by phone. Plug my phone into my computer to charge because it's already going dead.

11-11:45 am run down to the gym on the floor below me. Combination of weights, stationary bike, treadmill, or whatever I can talk myself into doing while watching Price Is Right.

12-3:45 pm More of the same. Stuff a sandwich in my face while working.

3:45 pm I'm free! But usually it's 4-4:15pm, depending on what I'm doing.

4:30 pm Pick the kids up. Smiles all around!

4:40 pm Home. Think about dinner preparations (I keep meaning to meal plan and it keeps not happening - I was doing so well last year, and now nothing!) Try to thaw some form of meat while children play around my ankles. Dump blocks on the kitchen floor so they can play while I survey the contents of my pantry.

5:30 pm Hubby gets home. I sit on the couch and sigh. And play with children.

6:00 pm Dinner! Well, more like 6:30pm. Afterward, Hubby will clean up and I will play cars. Or watch tv. Or walk the soon-to-be toddling baby around the living room.

7:00 pm Fret about not drinking enough water for my run tonight. Start stretching, and S will stretch with me while H crawls all over our legs.

7:30 pm Kiss Henry good night because he'll be asleep when I get home. S gets his one show a night in the library, and I go for my run/bike ride/etc with my neighbor.

8:30 pm I get home, talk to Spencer for a few minutes and then he goes to bed.

8:30-10:30 pm Baseball's on tv, Hubby and I talk/watch baseball/hang out/I read.

10:30 pm I crash, or I read in bed with the intention of crashing and then I stay up way too late reading.

So there's my day! It's pretty boring, but it's awfully full!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

TOT - music

It’s TOT time again, and frankly I’m embarrassed that I haven’t updated this blog with all that has been actually happening. There are Philly eats to be posted (photos still pending) and birthday parties galore (photos still pending) and holy Jeebus life has been packed to the gills with goings on. Packed. (Remember my calendar? The appointments have doubled) So instead of writing a real post about all those goings on, I’m going to answer a bunch of fun questions about my music preferences thanks to Chelsea – because the fun couldn’t stop at 10, here is this week’s Eleven on Tuesday.


1. Do you listen to the radio in your car? If so, what type of station do you like? I listen to all sorts of things. Lately I’ve been on an NPR kick, but when that gets too depressing I listen to the local pop station (all the hits, none of the rap) or 90s alternative on satellite radio.

2. What is the best concert you have ever attended? The second time I saw James Taylor, I cried. I’ve seen him three times, and he’s fantastic, completely fantastic. Number two would be when hubby and I drove to North Carolina to see TMBG; also fabulous (I’ve seen them 17 times). I’m eclectic.

3. What is the most embarrassing concert you have ever attended? Ha. The two times I saw NKOTB when I was young? When I saw them again 2 years ago? I went to a Sum 41 concert about 6 years ago with a friend, and I’m pretty sure at 25 I was the oldest person there save for the parents who had brought their tweens.

4. If you could have the singing voice of anyone in the world, who would it be? I’d say James Taylor, but then it would be weird – like when Princess Vespa on Space Balls was singing Nobody Knows like a man …

5. You’re auditioning for American Idol. What song do you sing? I don’t, I point and laugh.

6. If your previous weekend had its own soundtrack, what would be a few of the songs? The Thomas the Tank Engine song, Happy Birthday, and a lot of Beatles.

7. Most annoying television show theme song ever: Sherry Lewis and Lamb chop sing along. Three's Company is a close second. Come on, knock on my door ...

8. Are you and your significant other music-compatible? Mostly, although I’ll branch out into newer music that he’s pretty certain is all crap. And he might be right, but it’s fun.

9. A song that brings me back to middle school: I Swear, by All 4 One

10. A song that brings me back to high school: Sugar Magnolia by Grateful Dead. I was a bit of an alterna-hippie.

11. A guilty pleasure song (or three): Pretty much anything on that pop music station: Kei$ha, Gaga, etc etc etc.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

One


Happy first birthday, Henry! We love you so very much!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

TOT - work

Today is better. I've done all my shopping for the party ... almost. I feel nearly ready. It would help if I could expand my house, but barring that miracle, we're good!

I'm technically doing Ten on Tuesday via Chelsea this week, but ... well, I'm really sensitive about commenting about work on this, my personal blog. So here goes ... answering questions about work without ACTUALLY answering work-type questions.

1. What do you do for a living? I deal with law suits. I'm not an attorney. I'm not a paralegal. I don't work in a law office. Make your own assumptions.

2. What’s your favorite thing about your job? I really love the paperwork. No, really.

3. What’s your least favorite thing about your job? The stress of knowing no matter how much work I do, there are piles and piles left to be done when I leave, and then when I come back in the next day.

4. If you weren’t a ____________, what would you be? My ideal job would be owner of a used bookstore that could run at a profit or deficit with no worries from me. So really, in my dreams.

5. What is something that you would love to get paid for that you think no one would every pay you for? Read. not edit, critique or write, just read.

6. If you could have any job for exactly one day, what would it be? I'd be a teacher. For one of those summer days.

7. If you had to do manual labor, what would you do? any warehouse with enough air conditioning. Maybe even a refrigerated warehouse? I'm okay with that.

8. What is something you were forced to learn in high school that was supposed to be super important, but you never actually use? history. I know all that "doomed to repeat it" stuff, but screw it. Use your common sense.

9. Who was your favorite boss? Why? I had this boss when I worked retail who always told random stories. My favorite story from him is when we were moving things around on the floor and he said he wanted to take a pallet of water to the front, rent a smoke machine play Toadies "I Come From the Water" behind it. Classic.

10. Where would you rather work: Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (The Office), Wernham Hogg Paper Company (The Office, UK), or Initech (Office Space)? Initech is the only one I can actually think of (I don't like the American version of The Office and it's been too many years since I've seen the UK version), and I don't want to work there. I would, however, relish taking a bat to a copier. Can I pick none?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Please cry for me, Argentina

I fully expected to attempt to write some posts this weekend and I could barely bring myself to look at the computer at all (except my constant refresh on facebook, of course) so now I can hang my head in shame and say last week’s lack of posts really probably had nothing to do with Hubby’s current attachment to the laptop.

I take that back; that was my story, and I’m stickin’ to it.

Anyhow, my baby turns one in THREE DAYS. Holy Be-jeebus. I’ve barely thought about his birthday party, which is currently spiraling out of control. Thankfully I decided ahead of time not to serve real food, because nearly everyone we’ve invited is coming which means there are going to be probably a dozen kids and associated adults, and as many as 2 dozen children (and associated adults). I need to make a food list and make everything on Saturday (which thankfully is one of the few free weekend days I have). I think there will be guacamole and salsa, buffalo chicken dip, jalapeno popper dip, assorted chips and veggies and ranch, cake and cupcakes. Does that sound like enough? No? Not to me either.

What on earth was I thinking?

I can actually tell you exactly what I was thinking: It would be nice for Spencer to have a couple friends his own age at the party. HA!

You do realize this is going to be at my little house, right?

And there will be more people than were at the Independence Day extravaganza, right?

Hold me, mommy.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday List o' Random

So I haven’t posted hardly at all this week, and I want to blame the husband. He has been attached to the laptop until past my bedtime, stumbling upon random shit that makes him giggle like a schoolgirl. It’s amusing (and I’ve been able to get lots of reading done this month, hello Book #5 in 10 days), but I do miss the computer. And also you haven’t gotten any Delaware/Philly updates. Oops.

A thought after a particularly strenuous work-out session: I now understand why women who exercise a lot get boob jobs. Last week I had to go buy new bras, and I’m now mourning my breasteses. Thankfully, they are still going proportionally to my body. How do I tone my arms without losing my rack? I implore you.

Price is Right is on during my gym time, so I get to watch it nearly every day. What is with those California prices? And what on earth is with Drew Carey’s hair? Is he going for The Donald look?

On Tuesday I messed up my back with my workout. I’m not sure what I did, but by Wednesday night I had further tweaked it by jostling H around at a baseball game to keep him entertained. I thought I would need a trip to the chiropractor, but good ol’ Excedrin seems to be helping.

I did get my first ever massage, by an androgynous man named Richard with hairy arms and excellent hands. It was some kind of awesome. Back still hurts, but it seems to be significantly better.

I’m in the middle of some sort of meandering down memory lane with my music these days. Lots of 90s alt rock. Someone save me, I might be digging in my closet for my old CDs soon.

H's birthday is THURSDAY (he'll be one, I don't even want to talk about it) and his birthday party is NEXT SUNDAY and I still have no idea what to do for it. I think I decided on this cake, which is awesome, and I believe there will be cupcakes and buffalo chicken dip and chips and guacamole. And kiddie pools. Otherwise, not really sure.

And to save the best for last, Hubs got a job! Which is really pretty much his old job, but that’s a rant for another day. He starts 8/23, so woot! PLUS he’ll have a work laptop so maybe I’ll get on the computer again soon. Hehe.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Ten on Tuesday plus a little about the weekend

I had a fantastic time in Delaware and I put together a little post for Monday about the very many foods I ate (I put on 4.5 lbs in 4 days – shoot me now). However, it wouldn’t have been complete without the photos, and I was a lazy April when I got home from work so that didn’t get done. Therefore, no Monday food post. Moving on! Maybe I’ll just have a Wednesday food post instead. You know you want it.

But TOT is on today’s agenda, so here you are!

1. Mac or Windows? (Or Linux for you super geeks!)
Windows.

2. What drew you to that operating system?
I’m not necessarily anti-Mac (they do/did have cutie Justin Long to campaign for them, you know) but they just cost so dern much! If someone wants to give me one I wouldn’t turn it down though. Just sayin’.

3. Mice – Wireless or Wired? Mouse pad or none?
At home I just use the touchpad on the laptop but if by chance I use the desktop (which never happens – that is for hubby’s video game obsession and photo storage only) there’s a rollerball mouse in there, no mouse pad. At work, wireless.

4. Other than the Internet – What do you use your computer most for?
Hubby’s shoot-em-ups and photo storage. Words with Friends. Solitaire (I’m obsessed w/ Solitaire).

5. What’s one computer-related thing you wish you were best at? (CSS, Photoshop, Excel, etc.)
photoshop, I think. I do a lot with Picasa and lately, Piknik, but it would be nice to do fancy shit.

6. Describe the first time you ever used a computer.
I don’t remember, but this weekend we were discussing back when Prodigy was the thing and we would dial up, go make a bowl of cereal, and wait for our chat rooms to load. We were so cool.

7. How often do you upgrade to a new operating system?
Hubby likes to upgrade. I think upgrading is generally what screws things up. So whenever he wants to, and then shortly thereafter I complain enough that we get a new computer. Or, Spencer pulls the keys off the keyboard and then we get a new computer.

8. Are you a short-cutter (CTRL+C) or a right-clicker?
I heart shortcuts.

9. Is computer-use a constant thing in your life (such as using it both at work and home) or do you get a break (because you don’t use them at work)?
All the time. Constantly, work, home, phone-in.

10. Where do you think the world would be if personal computers did not exist? I’m not sure I would want to live there. It would be nice to vacation there though. Can I bring my phone?

Friday, August 5, 2011

Confessions, Live from Delaware

I didn't think I was going to be able to blog while I was up here, but I'm an early riser and my hosts are NOT, so I thought I would drink my coffee in my pjs on the back porch and read, but right now I thought first I would blog from my phone. I love you that much.

1) I confess, I hate making decisions that have an effect on other people. Don't ask me what to do, or what to eat. I can contribute to the conversation but don't make me make the decisions. It makes me want to cry.

2) I'm staying in a house with 12 cats, and I haven't yet taken my allergy medication. They are damn adorable cats, but holy hell that's a lot of cats. And holy hell, I'm allergic to them.

3) I confess, I think Kourigs are wasteful and unnecessarily expensive, but boy do they make a delicious cup of coffee.

4) I confess, I miss my family and I've been gone less than 24 hours.

5) I confess, Cowboys and Indians was the worst movie I've seen in a very long time. It really felt like someone had a script for an alien movie in one hand and a script for a cowboy movie in the other and they tripped and all the pages went together.

6) I confess, in reading a Terry Pratchett book that a friend recommended and it feels like something I've outgrown. Like, if I were a 12-year old boy and started reading it, I totally would have loved it and been attached to the books through my adult years, but since I didn't try to start until 31 I just don't get the amusement.

7) I think I really need that allergy pill.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hello, August! (TOT at the end)


This is my calendar for August (and thank you Jennie for introducing me to the world of Google calendar). I’m pretty sure that weekend of 8/27-28 is a fluke and I’m missing something, but as it stands now, I have 3 free weekend days in the next five weeks (although I'm trying to set up an out-of-town lunch with the girl whose baby shower I missed two weekends ago, so there goes one of the days). I’m assuming it will all be fun, I hope, but holy goodness I’m busy these days!

And beyond that, there’s regular old life with two kids. Regular, exhausting, exhilarating and annoying, life with two kids. For every complaint I could have, there is something amazing going on. I’m trying very hard not to dwell on the constant headache I’ve been having lately or the tantrums or the twice nightly wake-up calls or the screaming or the viruses … instead, there’s the look on this boy’s face when he gets to ride with daddy on his co-pilot bike. There’s two very small children playing peacefully together for a solid 15 minutes. There’s the little one, staring rapt at the television and giggling while watching Where the Wild Things Are (thank goodness I have one who has the attention span for movies). There is Spencer, spelling every sign he sees these days while he tries to learn words. There is Henry, overjoyed at the prospect of walking but not ready to let go (he likes to hold onto my dress now, so I’m not actually supporting him. I’m like his own personal security blanket).

It was a hard weekend. I came down with whatever the kids had and I’m a little whiny baby about being sick. I came in late to work after the kids’ doctor (no ear infections, no antibiotics … just have to ride it out), muttered through work for four hours and then went back home to lay on the couch and feel miserable for awhile, went to bed at 7ish and slept for 12 hours. The kids are starting to get better – the noses are drying up a little, Henry’s rash went away (he had a rash on his belly and up the sides of his back) and they are both back to being in normal form (i.e. loud and rambunctious). I accidentally got S all excited for a birthday party on Saturday that actually was set for Sunday, so I took him out for a little Mommy & Me time … he chose to go to the mall (I’m not complaining) and I chose to take him to the airport to watch the airplanes take off, and the trams and the taxis. We walked around the ticketing counters and the building and talked about our October airplane ride. It was a good time. Henry is still not sleeping through the night, waking up angrily twice every night to scream in his crib until someone comes to rescue him, and I’m still not sure what to do about it. We are back to CIO, and he woke up once Sunday night, cried terribly for 20 minutes and went back to sleep. Monday night, he woke up, cried terribly for 30 minutes, and went back to sleep. If you have any suggestions, I’m all ears. At this point I’m pretty sure we’ve tried everything.

We had our first family bike ride on Saturday. We got a co-pilot bike trailer for S, and a new bike helmet (Cars) so Henry could get the hand-me-down helmet and the iBert. Spencer was so excited about that bike. Henry … he didn’t know what to think, but he hated the helmet so he spent most of the ride fighting with it. We went 7 miles, and Spencer would have gladly gone longer but it was long enough for Daddy and Henry. We’ll have to work up to longer rides.

And there are only 52 hours until I leave for Delaware! Ahh!


So I forgot to post on Monday, so M/T are combined today. Here's this week's TOT, via Chelsea (although my answers are a little bit of a cop-out; I hate laundry):

1. Do you do laundry all at the same time or a load here and there? I try to run it all at the same time, but I sometimes forget half way through and leave a load in for a day or two that then has to be rewashed.
2. What kind of detergent do you use? Up&Up Allergen Free, or sometimes All Allergen Free.
3. Do you use fabric softener? Downy
4. Do you use dryer sheets? Only if the clothes are just on the brink of needing to be rewashed and I don't feel like it.
5. Do you iron your own clothes or take them to a cleaner to get pressed? I hate to iron, but it has never occurred to me to pay to have clothes pressed. If I'm taking my clothes to the cleaners, it's because they need to clean them for me. Usually I just go wrinkly.
6. Do you like heavy starch or light starch? I don't have much of a need for starch. Hubby likes heavy. He also prefers to do the ironing.
7. Do you wash all your laundry at once or separate it? I separate unless the load is small and then sometimes I stuff extra stuff in.
8. How do you separate it? By people or by colors? By colors, and then all the outdoor stuff goes separately, like the towels etc.
9. What clothes get hung up and what goes in drawers? We used to hang everything, but now it's mostly our work clothes and everything else goes in drawers.
10. Do you use plastic, wire, or wooden hangers? Do they all match? mostly plastic, wood for my work pants and hubby's work clothes. the wood ones all match, but the plastic are a mish-mash. No wire, ever.