3.5 mi. = 5.63270 km

That's how far I jog/walked today. I feel like I might puke, or poop, or relatively die, but I got through it. There were a lot of bargains made with myself: four more light poles and then you can walk and just make it to the yellow sign and you can walk and pass the fire station and then you can walk (which is funny because I guess all else fails, I could have rung the bell at the station if I really was going to die and they could take care of it).

It took 45 minutes exactly, which is a 12'51" mile, which happens to be about 4 minutes faster than I did in high school (okay, so I don't remember actually ever running in high school). I'm pretty sure I'm in better shape now cardio-wise than I ever was, but I have a layer of blubber to burn off before I look better than before. I think I pulled a groin muscle at about 1.82, but I kept going.

My goal was/is: to complete a 5k and jog more than I walk, and not stop. Completed.
Next goal: to not feel like I'm going to collapse after I finish. And maybe do it a little faster.

February 26 is the Gasparilla 5k, and now I know I can do it. I truly had my doubts before.

Honey Dijon Chicken

Several weeks ago my friend Sarah shared this recipe with me, and I love it so much that I'm sharing it with the interwebs. Don't be put off by its simpleness -- this chicken is fantastic and so super easy. I also used the sauce with pork chops and then rolled them in pecans and it was almost -but not quite- as fabulous. I usually make it with the full amount of sauce and two large chicken breasts which I cut in half (I love the sauce that much, but I do always end up with a lot of extra) and cook in a 9x9 pan, but here's the original recipe:

Yield: 8 servings
9x13 dish
Oven: 450 degrees
Cook Time: 20-25 min

8 (3 lbs) skinless Chicken breasts
seasoned salt
pepper, coarse
curry powder
1. place chicken in greased baking dish and sprinkle seasonings.

1/3c butter, melted
2/3c honey
1/3C dijon mustard
1/8tsp salt
1/8tsp pepper, coarse

1. combine and whisk until smooth
2. pour on top of chicken
3. Bake uncovered for 20-25 or until it reaches internal temp. 165.

Do you need to go potty?

So I spoke too soon on Sunday regarding the potty training. He went through six pairs of underwear (two #2s and four #1s) and I about had a conniption. I'm not entirely sure what a conniption is, but I'm pretty sure I had it. After the last one I threw my own tantrum, put him back in a diaper (not even a pull up), lectured him about standing in front of me whining about wanting a snack and at the same time taking a crap in his underwear and then gave him the silent treatment for about an hour.

Yes, I know I was acting younger than him. But I hate laundry!

Monday seemed to be better; he had one accident at daycare because she forgot to put him in a pullup when he laid down for a nap (for her he'll still take naps), and none at home. Today he goes to my in-law's house ... I'm kind of dreading that and wish that he went later in the week so he could get used to the undies a little more. However, my husband's grandmother lives with them half the year and she regularly messes herself (TMI?) so maybe it'll be just another thing.

In the vein of TMI, Spencer also discovered the little hole in the front of his underpants and stuck his ding-a-ling out and said "I see my pee-pee!" It was all I could do not to roll on the floor laughing.

More on Adventures in Potty Training very soon, I'm sure. Where's that Thor hat? Does anyone get the reference?

Menu Monday

Monday: Spinach and egg noodle casserole (mixed feelings - it needed a load of salt, more than I'm comfortable adding to one dish, but after a couple handfuls it was pretty good. I might fiddle with it and try again)
Tuesday: ham sandwiches
Wednesday: honey and bacon shrimp with spinach tortellini
Thursday: Thanksgiving! you know that drill, we had all of it.
Friday: Turkey sandwiches
Saturday: Honey dijon baked chicken and rice (recipe to follow this week)
Sunday: I made southern-style chicken sandwiches for lunch (buffalo chicken for hubby, honey dijon for me) so we skipped out on dinner. Although I may have had leftover stuffing, wine and a slice of coconut cream pie, but it was a rough day with the potty training.

This week:
Monday: Beef stronganoff
Tuesday: Lasagna
Wednesday: Chili
Thursday: Chicken Bryan with sauteed spinach
Friday: pork chops and corn
Saturday: goat cheese stuffed hamburgers and fried potatoes

A weekend of Sundays

The problem with 4-day weekends is that every day after the first feels like Sunday. There's always that slight anxiety of thinking you need to go back to work the next day.

There's also anxiety in this household because we have changed Spencer over to his Mickey Mouse undies yesterday evening. No accidents yet, but it's early. I've been making him sit on a trifolded towel on my bed and asking him 1,871 times an hour if he needs to go potty. We even made a quick trip to Target (groceries, Candyland for $3.99) yesterday with no incidents. I'm cautiously optimistic. (interjection: while I was typing this I made him try to go before he had Teddy Grahams because he always poops in the morning and I was getting nervous that he hadn't gone. He insisted that he didn't have to poop but two minutes later I hear, "I did! I did have poop in my belly!" He was very surprised. He also got a Reece's Pieces (1 piece) for pooping in the potty because I'm not above bribery)

Aren't you excited to read about my adventures in potty training? I feel like I need a Thor hat.

I THINK I am nearly done with child shopping for Christmas and birthday. Spencer's birthday is so close to Christmas that I do the shopping at the same time.

So that he can stay away from my blessed laptop.
There were cuter ones, but he loves The Cat, so hopefully he'll like it.
(still haven't gotten this just yet because I'm trying to get the best price, will definitely be birthday and not Christmas)
Might be a joint gift for Spencer and Henry, even though Spencer's the only one who will care.
Buzz pjs

Doctor set: my one "impulse" purchase (in primary colors)

So the only things I have left to get for S are maybe some socks and underwear and a small toy for his stocking.

Henry is getting some clothes and one toy, but I haven't decided on the one toy. I might stick some diapers and socks in his stocking, but I haven't figured that out yet.

I still have the rest of the shopping to do: Hubby and I have decided on an $80 spending limit for each other to get presents for each other from the kids. I think I'm going to get him an air compressor and maybe something Perry the Platypus. I need to get things for my siblings and my parents, and hubby's parents (this is all my job; hubby waits until 12/24 to decide on things), and his cousin and her husband (the family that we exchange gifts with), and his Grandma (usually fancy chocolates). So ... ideally I would like to get all that done in one weekend and not have to worry about it for the rest of the holidays. Do you think I can do it?

(PS: I forgot to knock on wood - in the half hour after I typed the words "no accidents", we had two accidents - one of each variety. Just thankfully they weren't on my bed. Knock on wood.)

Success and pain

It's 6am, day after ...

Sorry, I almost broke into Ben Folds lyrics, and that would have been depressing. Anyhow, I'm the only one awake, my toddler is staying over at my in-laws and my infant is asleep in my spot on the bed because he was restless. Is it sad that I'm thinking of jaunting over to Target to see what I can see? I didn't see anything in their ad that I can't live with out, but you never know ...

I'd ride my bike over, since it's only about 1 1/2 miles, but I'm currently the most sore (sorest?) I've ever been the day after a workout. I can tell every single muscle that was used in yesterday's boot camp, and the one that I can tell I skirted working on ... my triceps are not sore at all but I only got through 1 1/2 sets of the 5x tricep pushups and I think I may have skimped on the ones I did because they were right after 10 burpees and if I never do another burpee it will be too soon. That was a lovely sentence, right? You get the sentiment.

Thanksgiving was great. I got up early to rinse the turkey and take it to my in-laws house and helped her get all 20.5lbs of it in the oven by 7am. Then I headed out to Odessa (you don't know, but it's a hike) to pick up my husband's cousin and went out to the park to have an instructor work us within an inch of (my) life ... which actually was a lot of fun, in that "what doesn't kill me" sort of way. Came home, made the best stuffing I have ever made, made cranberries, took a well-deserved and well-needed shower and then packed us all in the car and headed back to my in-laws' house!

There were 15 adults and my two kids present, and of course the kids took center stage (how could they not? Spencer demands it). Henry flipped out for the first time in his life, I think from all the people in his face and the fact that he's not napping properly these days. He was inconsolable for about 20 minutes until we gave him a couple ounces of sugar water, and then a full bottle, and laid him in his cradle in a quiet room so he could stare at the fan until he fell asleep (this took about 30 minutes). He was quite fine alone in the room wide awake, but obviously didn't want to deal with all the people in the other rooms.

Oh man, there was so much food! Turkey and stuffing (two kinds, but mine is always preferred by the crowd - my MIL always tries a new recipe and a corner gets politely eaten while mine is devoured - makes me feel good) and cranberries and yellow squash casserole, mashed potatoes (of which I'm not a fan), rolls, WINE, crudites, hors d'oeuvres, broccoli salad, and four kinds of pie (pumpkin, chocolate silk, pecan and coconut cream). And pumpkin spice coffee (I brought that too).

After eating Henry was awake and in a much better passing-around mood, Spencer was occupied by hubby's cousin Scottie for hours (except when Scottie was talking to me about Fallout: New Vegas ad nauseum) and I got to drink my coffee in peace and then leave with just one kid and a load of leftovers. Just a lovely day.

How was yours?

Giving thanks

I could be here complaining about the lousy day I had at work and how a client made me cry, but instead I'm going to be thankful that I have a job and that I was able to take three wonderful months off with my children and be sure that it was there when I returned.

I could be here complaining that I had to get the Christmas stuff from the attic myself because my husband hemmed and hawed but instead I'm going to be thankful that I got such a workout that my legs and back are a little sore.

I could be here complaining about the six children under five years old that are playing in the street with no supervision but instead I'll be thankful that a) my kids know better and b) no one has been hit yet.

Today was the roughest I've had since I got back to work - I woke up with a headache, everyone was off except me and my supervisor, I got verbally bitch slapped by one of my own clients that I was giving a courtesy call to (whose time is evidently that much more important than mine), I had a ridiculous amount of work to do and somehow got to none of what I wanted to do, and the dry cleaners didn't get the baby spit-up out of my husband's pants and acted like it was a pain to run it through again. Then I came home, started the turkey brining, shaved my legs (I'm working out tomorrow morning in a group - I'd prefer not to have yeti legs), got Christmas out of the attic and then took my elder child to the doctor so they could shoot lame flu germs up his nose and I could give him a chocolate for letting me hold his head still while he screamed.

But I'm thankful. I'm thankful for healthy children, a happy house, having a job, having a house to decorate, and having family to make dressing and brine turkeys for.

Deep breath.

I think I've decided to do the Gasparilla 5k in February. I've never run further than a mile before and I think I may have died after that ... in high school. So I would love a training/running partner (cough, Suz, cough) at least to cheer each other on separately on the training front and then running the thing together. I also signed up spur o' the moment for Boot Camp tomorrow, so ...

There's also the Disney half-marathon which I might be entertaining the thought of for Jan 2012 (I'm not setting myself up to fail by even thinking about this January, even if the registration hadn't passed). Or the Gasparilla 5+3k 2012 ...

If I don't get back here before, Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thankful

I asked Spencer to come up with things that made him happy, which was the closest I could come to making him understand what "thankful" means to make a thankful tree. I couldn't find any construction paper so we ended up with a list instead of a tree, but it works. I asked what he liked, who he loved, what he liked to do, where he liked to go ... you get the idea. Obviously, my not-quite-three-year-old needed a bit of prodding to come up with anythings.

Noticeably absent -- nearly all of his toys.
Also noticeable absent -- all the stupid shows he loves so much (besides Barney, but he was in the "who do you love" category).
Happily there -- nearly all of his immediate family (without any prompting).
Amusingly there -- a vast area of foods.

So here they are:

1. peanut butter and jelly
2. grapes
3. bread
4. Nonnie (my mother)
5. Uncle (presumably Unk, who is my husband's aunt's husband)
6. Daddy
7. Mommy
8. Henry (Hen-er-y, I love how he says that)
9. Barney
10. breakfast
11. Tita (his daycare lady)
12. Sean and Nora and Vinny (daycare kids) "I love all the kids and all the people"
13. "making bread with you" (we've done this once)
14. "I like trees"
15. Blue and yellow cars
16. Buzz Lightyear
17. "Buzz Lightyear's dog"
    
18. playing outside
19. playing baseball
20. Teddy Grahams
21. Pama and Grandma (my in-laws)
22. "the turtle in my bed" (his stuffed Yurtle)
23. my black car "because my Grandma got it for me" (I have no idea what car he's talking about)
24. pirate hats
25. peanut butter and crackers.
    

Menu Monday and other thoughts

I've officially eaten my own food for every meal since lunch last Wednesday except for a $6 lunch at Chili's on Monday (I had already made lunch plans before we decide not to eat out anymore).

It's not as hard as I thought it would be. I brought cinnamon raisin bread and peanut butter for breakfast all last week, and had a combination of leftovers and ham sandwiches on Deli Thins with carrots and grapes and yogurt-covered raisins. Saturday I made a frittata and bacon and hubby made pancakes (I don't really like pancakes) and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with apple slices for lunch, and Sunday I made scrambled eggs and berry muffins for breakfast and chicken nachos for lunch. I've had to be more creative to keep us interested in eating at home, but it's also helped in using the stuff in the pantry. The only regret I have is that I had to miss a dear friend's 30th birthday because she was having a dinner at Carrabba's and I just couldn't justify that expense to myself.

I'm excited about Thanksgiving, but mostly I'm excited just to have more time home with family. I'm making stuffing and I'm trying to decide if I should make regular or sausage stuffing (or both, ha!) and I'm thinking about making cranberry sauce too. I love fresh cranberry sauce but I'm in the minority in the crowd that I eat with. I'm also in charge of brining the turkey, so Hubby is picking it up from the in-law's house on Tuesday night and I'll put it in the brine on Wednesday.

Anyhow, onto the menu:
Last week:

Monday: baked spaghetti and garlic bread
Tuesday: pan-fried tilapia, balsalmic asparagus and four-cheese risotto
Wednesday: Burrito bake - very tasty, very easy
Thursday: beef lo mien frozen skillet meal
Friday: Southwest chicken and corn chowder
Saturday: grilled chicken and baked mac & cheese
Sunday: ham sandwiches (I totally phoned it in)

This week:

Monday: spinach and noodle casserole
Tuesday: chicken Bryan and roasted veggies
Wednesday: shrimp and tortellini in creamy pesto
Thursday: Thanksgiving!!!!!!! there will be no weight loss this week.
Friday: frozen pizza (or leftovers if there are some)
Saturday: pulled pork sandwiches

Cut. It. Out. (Thanks, Dave Coulier!)

Declaring shinanigans

-- What kind of person does Brazilian waxes for a living?

-- Also in the discussion of extraneous hair, I have such thin eyebrows that I often say if I were to pluck I'd have no eyebrows at all. I do occasionally get a stray hair, and instead of waxing or plucking them I go to a threader and have them clean them up (we're talking once every 18 months or so). They always look at me weird like, can't you pull your own 3 hairs out?

-- Why do people bitch about their significant other on Facebook? Further, why do people fight on Facebook? Isn't it like yelling out on your front lawn if you grew up with your neighbors?

-- Is it bad form to say I can't wait until my in-laws are incapacitated (old age or something) and I get to host Thanksgiving?

-- Not that I wish them harm or anything. I just want to make something more than stuffing every year.

-- My aunt is fucking nuts. Can I defriend her? Another of my aunts (her sister) defriended me for making an innocent joke about burning Sarah Palin's book, so I think I'm entitled, but I feel bad. But seriously, who makes five comments on their own posts? And talks about some friends' dog on photos of their niece's kids?

-- What got into the Bucs this year? Evidently they just need people NOT to believe in them. I vote for black outs every year - it's the only way, really.

-- Thinking about getting hockey tickets for Spencer for Christmas. Is that too self-serving?

-- Thus endeth the random for tonight.

see more Sketchy Santas

Distractions

I had a brain storm last night and decided to officially quit 30 for 30. I'll try again next season, and maybe I'll even do it the way it is supposed to be done. In the meantime, I'm blessing you all with photos of my shoe collection. I love my shoes, and I weeded out the ones I knew I'd never wear again. My new goal is to try to wear ever pair of shoes and photograph them.

I was reading up on my blogs while I climbed the stairs and I accidentally missed the floor I was going to and went an extra flight. So yay, I guess.

I'm scared to death of falling down the stairs as I fell down them twice at my old job. And I didn't wear heels there. Me and stairs are not old friends. You'd think I'd be less likely to read while climbing them, but you'd be wrong.

BTW, I'm in a much better mood today. Can it be that it's Friday?

(today's shoes: Ann Klein)

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Friday confessions

-- I had a meltdown yesterday because my mom wanted to take my son to Disney next weekend and I freaked out because I haven't taken him yet and I didn't think it was fair that someone else take him first. And then I further melted down because her friend offered to pay for me too and I hated that I felt so broke that I couldn't pay my own way to Disney.

-- It was fixed last night by me just saying "No, you can't take my son to Disney before I have a chance to." I still feel bad.

-- My husband noticed how bad I seemed to be feeling last night and cooked dinner for me (a frozen skillet meal, beef lo mein) and then hung out with me in the living room while I played a video game for a change. It was very sweet.

-- Henry is 3 months old as of yesterday. He still doesn't roll over, even though he's crazy strong. Is he supposed to be rolling over yet?

-- I feel like I'm talking about a dog when I talk about "rolling over"

-- Good boy.

-- This week back has been really hard on me, but I'm amazed at how quickly I've fallen back into work. The last time I came back from leave I had a steep learning curve while I got back into the groove. I really don't feel like I left.

-- This week has otherwise been very very hard on me. I can't pinpoint it, because it's not so much the being away from the boys, although that's part of it. I'm just exhausted from the day-to-day of it all.

-- I'm obviously exhausted, re-reading my last post and how many typos there were.

-- And I'm not going back to fix them. So there.

Stairways to nothing

This is half a flight of stairs at work. I've been going up and down them for a week, and I think I'm getting better about not feeling link I'm going to die by the time I get to where I'm going. I'm averaging 8-11 flights a day.

I started out today with a killer headache, and it's gotten better but I'm feeling worse - I think just tired because all I want to do is go home and sleep. I've been working now for a week and I've been so good about getting up on time and making coffee for hubby and me, getting both kids ready for daycare, getting to work on time. Hubby has been really tired lately and I feel responsible for everything including his mood. I know it's ridiculous because he stays awake playing his video game long after I go to sleep so it's obviously not my fault. And I have dinner ready for him every night... Anyhow, I'm feeling worn down and I miss actually enjoying each other's company - I think he's really stressed about this work thing and I'm really stressed about the money thing and between the two of us, we're just a mess.

I think I'm going to stop doing 30 for 30; it's all I post about lately and I don't exactly gave much drive to not wear all the shoes in my closet or anything. I can't shop so theres no danger of that...

Anyhow I'm aware this post is crap and I sound depressed or whatever; I'm not, just tired and cranky. Pay me no mind - 3 hours and I can go home and do nothing for a bit with the kids until it's time to make diner.

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Burrito Bake

I decided tonight to do something with all the stuff in my pantry. I had a pound of frozen shredded taco chicken from when I was readying my freezer pre-birth, and I made this easy-peasy (lemon squeezy) casserole: Burrito Bake.

layer:
--1 package of Vigo yellow rice, cooked
--mix of 1 can black beans and 1 small can sliced black olives
--mix of 1 can chopped green chilis and 1 lb shredded taco chicken (however you usually season, either chili powder/cumin mix or just a packet of taco seasoning)
--chopped cilantro
--shredded cheese

Cook at 350 for about 10 minutes (I use my toaster oven of course) until cheese is melted. Serve with chopped onions and a dollop of sour cream. Yummy, quick and packs a lot of punch for very little effort!

Does anyone else feel like a moron?

I don't take photos of myself. I feel like an idiot.





Top: Kohl's - Simply Vera Wang
Skirt: Koh's - Apt 9
Boots: Avenue

I love this asymmetrical neckline. And I'm in love with my boots - I could wear them every day!

Ambition

Today I forgot to take photos until I was out of my clothes. Except for this one:

These are some of my favorite shoes. Okay, so maybe I won't be able to make the 30 for 30 just because I could easily wear a different pair of shoes every day for two months. And man, I've missed my heels!



Blouse: Loft
Pants: Alex Marie, Dillard's
Shoes: Rampage, DSW

I've been trying to do the stairs at work since I got back to work (4 days). I average about 10 flights of stairs each way every day. It's amazing how it makes me want to do more exercise, even though this weekend my calves were burning from one 5-flight jaunt at lunchtime (in search of a Dr. Pepper, who am I kidding). Tuesdays are my afternoon to myself after work, as the boys go to my in-laws and my husband picks them up on his drive home. Every other day I pick them up from daycare on my way home.

Usually I read or watch tv, or clean or generally mess around on the computer. But Today! Today I changed out of my work clothes, pulled my bike off its peg in the garage, took off the baby seat and inflated the tires and off I went! 10.6 miles in 1 hour 12 minutes (yes, I bike ride at the same rate that many people can jog) and it was exhilarating! And tough, and I thought about calling my husband to pick me up several times but I powered through to home, arriving home just after dark.

Then I cooked a relatively healthy meal.

And I'm sitting here and I wish there was something else I could do -- sit ups? Okay, maybe that's pushing it.

Where's my book?

Pieces of monday

This sweater (dress barn) has no sleeves and no shape, but it's good for when you are bloated and crampy and cranky. I love the color and I'm so glad I didn't opt for the safe sage, instead going for beautiful cranberry. I also love these flats by gianni bini (dillards) and of course, my loft jeans (pair numero dos).

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Menu Mondays

Have you seen this?:


Last week's menu:

Monday- chili
Tuesday- sausage ravioli w/ italian sausage and veggies in a cream sauce
Wednesday- none - went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch and hubby ate his leftovers for dinner.
Thursday- chili cheese dogs w/ tater tots
Friday- spinach and mushroom frozen pizza
Saturday- shrimp and tortellini in a cheesy white wine sauce
Sunday- nothing. A slice of ham while I was making tomorrow's breakfast and lunch.

This week:

Monday: pan-fried tilapia and pirogi w/ mushrooms and garlic
Tuesday: Baked spaghetti and garlic bread
Wednesday: taco chicken, black bean and rice casserole (making it up, I'll let you know)
Thursday: scrounging since Hubby will be eating pure deliciousness
Friday: grilled shrimp and cheesy risotto
Saturday: southwest chicken corn chowder

I want...

These trainer chopsticks for Spencer.

Weekender

I didn't take pictures of my weekend clothes, but it's a bit embarrassing. Saturday: black bib-style top (Target) and rose-colored shorts (Loft), with my leather Born flip flops. Today I left the same shirt on (and I slept in it (and the shorts) - how low-class, right?) and my Loft jeans and the same flip flops. Clean underwear, at least.

The hubby and I had a serious talk about finances last night and cutting back to not eating out as much (or at all if we can help it). The 3 months of no paycheck for me, coupled with the possibility of no job come January for him as well as that 14k in childcare has me in a nauseous frenzy. The problem is, that puts so much more of a burden on me: more cooking than I already do, more staying home. More coupon cutting, more price checking ... you name it, I'm the one who has to do it.

After we decided that we needed to cut costs (including even suspending Netflix while the season shows are on), the Hubby tells me that he's been invited to MY FAVORITE restaurant with friends from work and his friend is paying for him. Now I'm depressed because I want to go, but I don't really want to go with his friends and I don't want to spend the money but I love that freaking restaurant. It's just not fair - I don't have any friends who plan on paying my way for delicious food and at home I have to make it all myself. I'm going to try not to dwell but damn it.

We have had a nice weekend of doing nothing though. Saturday the boys and I sat outside and played/read/rode tricycles (guess who that was) while my husband did yard work and then played video games for the majority of the afternoon while the boys slept. Today I have Spencer playing out back while we catch up on our shows from last week (CSI, Fringe, Criminal Minds - not toddler-appropriate shows).

Anyhow, we made a list for grocery shopping this morning and still managed to go way over budget so now it's even more important to eat in. For every meal. Which I prepare. Which of course makes me less motivated to make anything at all.

Saturday
breakfast - french toast, bacon and coffee
lunch - chicken nuggets and mac & cheese
dinner - shrimp and tortellini in a cheesy wine sauce

Sunday
Breakfast - muffins and coffee
lunch - hotdogs
dinner - Voila skillet meal and french bread

Confessions

(late - my phone ate my blog post this morning)

-- Here was my second day of work outfit. I didn't realize how dirty this mirror was until I looked at the picture, but whatevs.
Top: Alex Marie, Dillards (I <3 Alex Marie clothes. Especially during a Labor Day/Memorial Day/Independence Day sale when I can afford them)
Jeans: my beloved from the Loft
Shoes: Alex Marie (see?) this is the first time I've had the occasion to wear them, but I'm so glad they aren't too dressy so I should be able to wear them with all kinds of things.
Accessories: rings and that's it. I forgot my earrings.

-- I can't remember the other things that I put in this post, I was so annoyed that my phone wouldn't post.

-- One thing I'm thankful for on when I went back to work is that the BBQ man came on Friday, and I was able to put my order of smoked chicken and yellow rice in on Thursday so I was able to indulge in the deliciousness.

-- I just realized that I'm going to be spending about 14k on daycare next year.

-- I feel nauseous.

-- When I was taking pictures of my outfit in the morning, Spencer insisted that I take a picture of him too.

-- He has been asking for a camera, and I told my in-laws that they could get him one for Christmas. Now I'm jealous because I know that's going to be his very favorite gift.

Starting again

Pictures taken in the bathroom at work.
Top: loft
Pants: charter club, macy's
Shoes: jessica simpson


I've been back to work for 3 hours now, gone through 428 emails (not an exaggeration) and I'd like to go back home now.

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On this my last day ...

This is what I did:

• got up at the same time that my husband went to work, and cleaned the house. Again.
• finished my thank you notes (no, I didn't get them mailed)
• had lunch with my husband (and his work friends)
• bought Spencer a couple pairs of jeans because he's been wearing 18mo jeans which appear to look like floods.
• sat outside at the mall and enjoyed a Bacia gelato and read.
• picked Spencer up early from daycare and let him play outside and in the sprinkler.
• cleaned the garage.
• took a shower and dried my hair so as to be generally ready for tomorrow
• took a sleeping pill (an hour ago, not kicking in yet)

I think I got the most out of the day. I hope, anyhow. I'm exhausted, so there's nothing more I can do anyhow.

So this is my last List update before going back:

Books read:
1-2-3 Magic - plot: count to three, put your child in timeout, be consistent. I mostly did this before, minus the consistency. I might still go out and buy this book (borrowed from the library and since there's a hold on it I'm not allowed to renew. Could not actively read, had to skim for the bigger picture.

The Maze Runner - very interesting plot, bare bones uninteresting prose. The author didn't try hard enough to make me believe the out-of-the-ordinary. I didn't learn to love the characters. I had to push myself through to find out what happened, and I was a bit disappointed in the ending. I hate when books rely too heavily on there being a sequel. I don't think I'll be reading the sequel. Was all that vague enough for you?

Crush - I have no idea why I heard of this book, but it ended up in my hold items at the library so I took it home and read it in 20 minutes. Sweet little book. Not badly written - would have appreciated a longer book by the author.

Harry Potter book 1: I'm one of the 3 people left in the universe who haven't read this series yet, and so I'm starting. I've seen pieces of all the movies so I know generally what I'm getting into. It's okay. There are a million better books but I'm going to stick it out.

During my maternity leave, I read 33 books.

Movies:
The Ramen Girl (Brittany Murphy). Hmmm. Cute, I guess. Hard to watch while cleaning since you have to read subtitles.
The Initiation of Sarah - pretty dark for an ABC Family movie, but Jennifer Tilly ruins it for me. I haven't liked a single role of hers since Vicki in Let It Ride

That's a total of 19 movies.

I feel like I ran out of time during my leave - I wanted to be able to hang out with MamaFuss and the kids one more time, and see Jonah again (he appears to be thriving right now), have more playdates/winedates with Suz and Jamie and take more walks and play more. Not yell as much. We got so good at it toward the end of leave, and I hope I can carry the attitude on during nights and weekends. We'll see - wish me luck!

Today's post is brought to you by the letters B.A.H.

And by the number 1. As in, one more day until work. As in, today is my last day before I go back to drinking my coffee in a cube.

I'm very torn on this issue. On the one hand, these last few months have really been great. I've enjoyed spending time with both my sons, and even though there have been some terrible battles with my toddler, I love that he is becoming his own person and he's such a sweet one at that (most of the time). I love that he says "I love you" for no reason at all and refuses to leave the house without giving me a "Hung" (hug). His tantrums have been insane, of this there is no doubt, but the good times have been so very good.

And Henry. When Spencer was little, I didn't think any child could be as even tempered and calm as he was. When I was pregnant everyone said he was going to be crazy high-maintenance because "you always get the opposite of your first". But Henry has proven to be even more even tempered than Spencer was. He doesn't care about his pacifier, he will sit in his cradle and watch people walk back and forth without demanding attention or entertainment. He's so strong; he's been scooting himself around the floor and my bed almost since the day he was born. Even now when he's had a cold for a week, he laughs every time he sneezes and blows snot bubbles and smiles big every time I wipe his face. I can't imagine not having him here. Right this very minute he is lying on my bed next to me nodding off from boredom. Some kids cry when they're bored - he just sweetly closes his eyes and waits for me to be done with the computer.

But. I do love my job, and I think even absence has made the heart grow fonder. I wonder what's going on with all of my case files, miss conversations with my co-workers and the attorneys I work with. I want to use my brain in the way that I can only do with my work. I can't wait to get back to see what has changed, what has stayed the same, and what is still quite ongoing. I wish I could find a happy medium, perhaps the discipline to be a WAHM (I need an out-of-the-house office to be productive) or a parttime job that I could find fulfilling. Right now this is what I need to do. I will cherish the moments after work and on the weekends with my boys. I will pack as much life into those times to make up for not being there from 7-4 five days a week (and sometimes longer when I have to travel). I was a good "parttime mom" before, and I'll be a good one now (you know you're never a parttime mom, but it's the only thing I know how to call it).

Moving on from the sappiness, I spent this morning cleaning my house (again), and then I set up shop out on my front porch with my coffee, applebuttered toast and my favorite newborn bundled up in his portable swing and finished my darn thank you notes that have been 3 months in the making. I've written them, addressed them, and sealed them up so that I can stop at a post office and get stamps (who actually keeps stamps handy for times like these?) and get them out TODAY before I forget. Again. It was a beautiful morning and the 45 minute job took 1 1/2 hours because I was so enjoying it. Plus I kept getting distracted watching four squirrels play tag in my yard, roof and the street.

Henry and I are having lunch with my husband today since it's the last time I can do that on a whim (Spencer's at daycare), and I have a couple of errands to run: I've noticed that Spencer has no jeans bigger than 18 months (which still fit in the waist but are looking like floods otherwise) (yes, he's nearly 3 - what of it? haha), and I really need tights for my boots (that's not cheating on 30 for 30, is it?)

Here's today's outfit (and one of MamaFuss's poses):

I've been having trouble figuring out where to take these photos because my backyard looks like a jungle so today I set up the tripod and took this one out the front door. Pardon the darkness. I have a feeling that the rest of my pictures are going to be taken by my phone in dark mirrors once I go to work so my husband doesn't think I'm nuts for doing this.

Top: sweater a la Dress Barn (when did their stuff get cute?) I know it's a useless sweater, what with its lack of sleeves, but I really liked how it looked on me, and if it's really cold I can just wear my coat over it anyhow.

Pants: Loft jeans - the blood came out after a soak in Oxyclean, a wash, spray oxy and another wash. Hallelujah.

Shoes: my beloved knee boots.

Accessories: watch, rings, brown button earrings and two (count them two!) flowers in my hair.

Snaggletooth

I think that mothers of small children are not cut out for 30-for-30 challenges. This is the remnants of yesterday's bloody clothes - which I did actually keep on all day until I changed into yoga pants and a pj top in the evening.


We had a great day yesterday. We bundled up and walked to the Target plaza (2.9 miles round trip) and I let him check out all the animals at Petsmart and all the video games at Best Buy and all the toys at Target before trudging back home at a decent clip (3 miles, 54 minutes and I was pushing 65+ lbs of child flesh and stroller accouterments the whole time).

Then he played out on the back porch while I got things done/watched bad movies/played my video game.

About 5pm he pooped in his pullup and decided to go potty again before getting a new one on. He then fell OFF the toilet while I was in his room grabbing a new pullup and hit his face on the bathtub.

Meet snaggletooth:



There was blood everywhere - it looked like a scene on CSI and I looked like the culprit. Somehow I kept my piece of mind, I put on a new pullup, grabbed his pants and a blanket (cold outside) and threw Henry in his seat and started out for the doctor. We were all shoeless.

However, I called on the way and they couldn't see him, so I had to deviate and get to the after-hours pediatrician. Broken teeth, blood everywhere - my son's beautiful smile. Down. The. Tubes.

Halfway there he wasn't crying anymore but I was, so we went ahead and saw the doctor (which involved me and a nurse holding him down and the doctor putting a tongue depressor between his teeth so he wouldn't get bitten) and he's fine. A bad cut on the inside of his mouth which he won't leave alone so it keeps weeping and is still swollen, and two broken teeth.

This is how he looked 20 minutes after getting home:


This morning we visited the dentist as soon as they opened, and while he wouldn't let the dentist look in his mouth, we discussed that the teeth weren't gray and they don't seem to be hurting him, so it's fine.

Fine.

Anyhow, I did take my picture for today, and I'll hope that I can keep these clothes blood-free.

Top: Old Navy, seriously old (and I'm not sure it'll make it through the 30-for 30, but I needed something quick).

Bottoms: Khaki's Macy's Labor Day clearance sale in September.

Not shown - same Sketchers sneakers as yesterday

Accessories: same black sweater from yesterday, butterfly earrings, rings, and I didn't put a lick of make-up or even dry my hair this morning (I didn't take my shower last night so I woke up with Spencer's blood still between my toes. That obviously needed to be remedied quick). Now that the crisis of the day has been attended to, I'm going to go put at least something on my face before dragging Henry to the doctor because he's on day 5 of this horrible cold and I'm terrified he's going to have an ear infection the moment I go back to work. On Thursday.

Remixing it backward

I thought about not doing 30 for 30, because once I checked my closet (which I felt was woefully understocked) it turns out I have 26 black and gray tops. Plus, I'm going back to work from maternity leave on Thursday, and I don't know what work has in store for me: meetings? trials? The holiday season is always a busy one. Everyone wants money.

Anyhow, so I've decided to do this backward. I don't think I utilize most of what's in my closet, even though I just cleaned it out and tried on every piece, confirming what fit and what didn't. So I've decided to do it backward. I'm going to take a picture of my clothes every day and see if I make it by the end.

Today:
Jeans - I bought these at Loft on clearance plus my credit card discount which made them around $30 from $70, and then I spent another $7 getting them hemmed. I'm so glad I did it because they are great, comfortable and I think they look good on. Original boot cut.

Top: purple top, Loft clearance. I love this color and have a couple other tops in the same color.

Shoes: Sketchers sneakers, DSW clearance. Are we noticing a clearance theme? I rarely buy anything full price.

Accessories: my watch (ahem, going out of business sale at a jewelry store), my wedding rings, Coach ring (birthday present last year?), black sweater (Target, clearance) (because it's freaking cold out there for a Florida early November!) and a flower for my hair.

Menu Monday

Last week's menu:

Monday: Cajun dirty rice
Tuesday: we had a late lunch at The Bungalow after the Children's Museum so we didn't eat dinner. I may or may not have snacked on Halloween candy instead.
Wednesday: steak, cheesy risotto and brussel sprouts
Thursday: TGI Fridays (we had a BOGO coupon!)
Friday: tilapia and veggie parchment packets with linguine and pesto sauce
Saturday: late lunch at Olive Garden after a drive to enjoy the beautiful weather, so no dinner.
Sunday: chicken and dumplings

So I looked through the last 11 weeks of Menu Mondays, and I think I've stuck to my schedules pretty well. We've still eaten out more than we should have, but I think we've tried to be careful to watch our food-related spending. In the last 11 weeks, I have cooked 34 dinners, we've had 5 nights of leftovers and 6 nights of no dinner, and my MIL cooked for us once. We've eaten out 15 times. That's a much better ratio than in the past, but I'd like to average less than once a week eating out, if possible. (Well, if someone else was paying for it, I wouldn't mind averaging more but I don't think that's likely.)

This week's menu:

Monday: chili
Tuesday: sausage ravioli
Wednesday: grilled shrimp and rosemary risotto
Thursday: chili cheese dogs (well, my husband's will be, mine will probably just be w/ catsup and mustard because I'm not particularly adventurous like that)
Friday: grilled pork chops and tater tots
Saturday: lasagna

Mourning of relationships

I found out tonight that one of my closest friends and her fiance have called it quits. To say I am heartbroken is an understatement, and yet, they live 1200 miles away so does it affect me?

Yes.

I was there when they got together. I remember the very moment that A invited D to a party given at my apartment in college, pulling me around the corner so we could spy on D sitting on my couch and saying, See him? I want him. He should be mine. And he was, and it was glorious. They were my ideal of a perfect couple - compatible, indestructible, wanting exactly the same things and perfectly suited for each other. They wanted the same things (living in a big city, writing) and didn't want the same things (children). They seemed to be living out their perfect life.

Yes, they had their problems - doesn't everyone?

But they both seemed to believe in Love so strongly as a tangible entity. And after a ruinous prior relationship and subsequent messy affair, A was so fragile. D made her believe.

I thought they were so strong. Others have fallen lately too, but while sad I could look back and say, "I can see." With this, I can't see. I know I live 1200 miles away and simply cannot see, I don't want to see. I want things to go back to the way they were.

Because if they're doomed, what does that say about the rest of us not living our dreams?

Something to worry about.

In July we found out that my husband's company was disbanding their IT department and sending it to India. Given that I was 6 weeks out from having Henry, I refused to worry about it. It's not supposed to happen until the end of the year, and in the meantime he still has a job. He qualified for a few open positions in the company (8, I think, and 800 being laid off), but there were others who had been there longer who apparently got the jobs.

His company does some work for the government, and those contracts would have to have stateside contacts, so there were a few open positions with the new company. My husband applied for and got one of those positions, set to start Nov. 2.

Then Nov. 8.

Then Nov. 11.

In the meantime, they have been terrible about getting back to him about every question he asked, even small things like, "can I still work for the regular company until Nov. 10 since you changed my start date so I'm not missing any days?"

So Friday he called and asked my opinion about saying no to the job for the new shady company and instead continuing his hunt. It does mean that there is still no guarantees on the job front come 12/31 (although if he ends up there that long, there is an excellent severance package). But I respect his decision to not take the new position and hopefully something will come along that he'll be happy with, with a company that he'll be happy with. Here's to hoping we don't go down to a single income come January 1.

More than seven

-- I turned on the Wii Fit yesterday and it had been 779 days since I last used it (what is that, 2 years, 2 months or so?). I've lost 3 1/2 lbs since then. Of course, I also had a baby in between. Woohoo for goals!

-- I let Spencer run around with the Wii remote and let the game think that it was me to earn fitness credits. Hey, he loved it! Probably not helping me with my goals though.

-- He then cried for an hour for not being allowed to play any more video games. I'm thinking no on letting him play any more.

-- We started attempting 1-2-3 Magic on Thursday. Spencer was in time out at least 10 times over the course of the day including one timeout in Target where we stood in the stationary aisle for 2 minutes. I'm hopeful for it, but I don't know. It's similar to what I already do, I think just more consistent. I'm hoping that consistency can save my sanity.

-- I'm giving up on potty training for the next week. If he does it, great, but I'm not even going to mention it for the next 6 days, except having him go potty before bed. Maybe when he's in daycare again more and I have to deal with it less, we'll all be more inclined to actually deal with it.

-- We've bought three Christmas gifts for Spencer so far: Buzz Lightyear pjs, a Cat in the Hat floor puzzle and the Toy Story trilogy. I have no idea what to get Henry. I know he doesn't care but I feel obligated to have an equal amount of presents for him too. Maybe I can buy a package of socks and wrap them individually. Hey! Maybe I can do that for my husband too!

-- I think I'm going to print pictures of everyone and put them on their Christmas gifts this year so Spencer can hand them out.

-- I go back to work in less than a week. Oh, the humanity! Where's my coffee?

-- Henry has his first cold, and I don't know where it came from since I've kept him home more than any time the entire last three months, and Spencer's been home from daycare this week, but he's a sneezy snotty mess and I've had to suction out his nose three times a day and mist him with saline. He's still a happy baby though, just one with slightly less sleep.

-- I'm going to see if Camp Rock 2 is on Disney On-demand.

-- Yes, I know I have a problem.

Shutterfly loves us

I'm so excited to hear that Shutterfly is giving away 50 free cards to bloggers, I just can't even stand it.

I ordered the above cards last year, and they turned out fabulously, as you can see. Isn't he the cutest? I ended up ordering 20 cards on the beautiful stationary for family only, and then ordering another 20 cards on photo stock to send out to friends that looked like this:


And really, the stationary cards are a cut above but they both turned out just great. I'm super excited to be able to order them again this year FOR FREE (except, you know, with different pictures of my now TWO little charmers). I just can't decide which cards to use this year - this one? This beautiful one? And how cute is this??

And what pictures of the kiddos? Maybe this one?



Or this one?


Oh, the decisions that have to be made! Order yours today!