the deal.

Okay, so here it is. I didn't vote yesterday. I thought about it very hard, and I decided that, being a registered Democrat, I didn't feel that I should be voting in a primary that doesn't count. My vote would have gone to Obama, by the way.

And I know my judgement, however thought out, backfired. First of all, I was not for Amendment 1, which passed by 63%. I should have gone to vote against it. I'm not sure it would have mattered, but I should have voted on it. And I'm sure the schools would have gotten their money without me too, but I should have voted for that one too.

But if Clinton won 50% of the votes and then they give back our delegates I'll be picketing somewhere. You can't change the rules after the game is played. They took our delegates away. It's not the candidates' fault, it's not the people's fault, it's the party's fault. And the party lost out on an important state. But it's over now, and I'll be goddamn if they're going to tell us that we don't matter and then put it back because someone likes how they ranked.

woo woo woo woo woo ... hangin' tough

An oddly appropriate title for the subjects at hand ... waiting for baby and .... wait for it .... an NKOTB reunion!

Okay, so the boys are going to be 35-40 years old, woohoo! ... this'll be awesome! I've read everything from that they are going to do a tour to that they'll just release a 20-year "best-of" album and do a tv special ...

I have to admit that I ran home and messaged a friend or two from my childhood on Facebook. And I told Christen by AIM who said he totally wants to go to that concert (though he's totally being sarcastic, but anyhow) ...

I am reminded about how when I was in college I came across a New Kids tape (yes, tape) for 50 cents and I bought it, listened to it, realized how incredibly terrible it was and didn't have the heart to throw it away. I left it on top of a garbage can at school hoping that it would bring someone else the nostalgic joy that it brought me.

In other news, baby still in tummy. Doctor's appointment on Thursday. Hopefully I'll get good news about tiny human forcing his way out soon.

My pupils are the only thing dilating

What, is that too much information? :)

Here's to hoping that I dilate quickly. Other April says Spencer isn't going anywhere because there is no baby pool so she put in for Jan 30 -- her logic? She was born on a Wednesday, so Wednesday babies are cool.

I was born on a Saturday, and from what I hear (read), in Bali "Saturday is a day of birth which contains elements of potentially bad spirits, like crow spirit, owl spirit, rooster spirit ... and puppet spirit." So that's what's wrong with me ... hehe.

Totally made me think of Suzanne

Feelin' cranky

I woke up so cranky today, and the happenings of the day are not making things go my way. I left my books at home so I have nothing to occupy my non-working time. I left my cash in the pocket of my pants from yesterday so I have nothing to put in the vending machine so I can't even have a Danish and relax. I wore a sweater to work thinking it was going to be chilly given that it rained all night and found that it was 67 degrees and getting warmer (Monday I was underdressed for the weather because Christen said it was a high in the 70s and neglected to say that it would start in the 40s). Thankfully I had thought to bring a change of shirt for the day just in case today, but I left everything else that would be helpful at home.

I also had high hopes on getting to work early; I have a doctor's appt on Friday and I try (try, try) to make up that time earlier in the week. Wasn't happening this morning; I was late instead, so now I have to make up that time instead. Blah! I wish I could afford to take the day off, and I'd go home and climb back into bed.

In other sunnier news ... it can't be too long now! Let me be done! Let me enjoy my child for a few months! Let me watch him play instead of rolling around in my tummy (which he does quite a lot of these days).

**update: I didn't get off work until 6:10pm. That means 9.75 hours at work plus lunch. No wonder I was crabby.

confession

So I have a confession to make. Though I resolved to not complain so much in this forum (not a New Years resolution, just one of those run o' the mill ones), I do have this one thing.

Christen is going to start working nights again. From 12-9 every night. I'm depressed just thinking about it. We've been through this before, and we'll get through it again -- when I finally got a desk job working standard business hours he was still working retail hours and I made it through that (of course, I had to get Lola so I wasn't alone). When he got his job now he started there working 12-9 and I made it through that (but I was living near my mother and was able to spend more time with her). But the last two months have been so nice being able to see him when we both got home; being able to hang out, go to dinner or even just have dinner together, go to bed at the same time, snuggle in bed in the morning knowing we'll have to get up around the same time.

But they need him at work, and he can never say no -- can never see if someone else can come to the rescue. I know his angle; he wants higher on the totem pole. Someone in the office is leaving and the guy is suggesting Christen for the job, which would have him leap-frogging some of the other employees after only two months of full-time working (before that he was contracting for the same company). And I also know he probably really didn't have a choice. At least he has a job. But ... I know I'll miss him, and I'll have the baby and I'm scared to do it on my own even though his parents will be there. It won't be the same. He'll be back to being a weekend husband for however many months (he expects two or three) and it'll just be me. And Spencer. And Lola.

T minus 14 days

I know, I know, I'm back. It's been a long time. To tell you the truth, the main reason I stopped blogging was because I felt like all I ever did was bitch -- the house issues, the pregnancy -- and I don't do that much complaining in real life -- I didn't want y'all to think that that was really how I am. I'm happy, I swear! :)

But lovely Suzanne has talked me into blogging again before my son graces us with his presence. It's been a relatively easy pregnancy. I've gained less than 20 pounds, I'm not generally uncomfortable, I've not been swelling too much (my right foot likes to swell, but that's about it), and other than the 6 times a night I get up to pee and the inordinate amount of Rolaids I've consumed in the past 3 weeks, things have been good.

So Spencer will be here in around two weeks. I'm hoping for sooner rather than later, and I know that it's not likely, as my family has had longer pregnancies and he is my first which is generally late. I'm okay with that; I'm just ready to meet him.

And I'm ready to be on maternity leave. Let's not kid ourselves -- three months on leave is calling my name. I dream that my water breaks every night. I leave my desk every day hoping that I don't have to come back the next day. Don't get me wrong; I don't mind my job. After three months I'll go back. I just can't wait to spend time with my baby and not have to worry about my files, about work. Super excited!

And just so you know (because some know how bad I've been at procrastinating here) ... as of this weekend we have the crib and changing table built and set up, the bassinet in the corner of the bedroom, and at last I've packed my bag as of this morning! So ... yay, we're actually somewhat ready!

In other news, the house thing fell through for now. We decided to move in with my in-laws, which has been pretty nice. I get cooked for every night, and other than keeping my room and bathroom clean I really have very little responsibility. We finally brought Lola over from my mom's house where she had been staying for a month and she loves it here. She really likes being in a one-dog household, even if she is relegated to the backyard full-time. She doesn't try to break out here (she was digging under the fence all the time at mom's) and she gets lots of exercise and her own doghouse when it rains or gets cold. I sure missed her; I like looking out my window and seeing her lazing in the grass.

I do miss our friends; the access we had to having people over or meet up for Winghouse. It's not quite the same, and I look forward to our having our own place again. We've decided to start looking again in April or May so that we'll have money for a down payment and time to look for a house that we both love. And I won't be pregnant and we won't be against the clock with our lease running out -- hopefully it'll be more promising.

Anyhow, I won't be a stranger! Don't you be!