Catching Up a Little

So like, woah. I have been horribly behind on my blog reading, and I can only attribute that to the fact that I have a new work computer, and when that computer is hooked to the work network, I am unable to access most blogs. It now appears that when I take that computer and use it on wifi somewhere different (I now have a laptop), I am able to get on those blogs. I didn’t know that previously though, and most of my blog reading was done on breaks during the day so there was just no possibility. So! Today I read through several weeks and now I feel semi up-to-date with your lives. Semi. I also haven’t been on twitter a lot these days. I don’t know why, I just haven’t. When I do log on, I get overwhelmed by all that I have missed so I usually send a few tweets and then log back off.

But I have a few minutes, so I thought I would update you on me. Because that’s why you’re here, right? A burning desire to know exactly what I’ve been doing with my life. (I kid, I kid)

I’ve been good. I may even venture to say I am VERY good. I haven’t had much anxiety at all in a bit (two weeks maybe?) I did change my medication; I did it myself, sort of. I added a homeopathic drug (SAM-e) on top of my prescription anxiety meds, and I realized that I need to take them in the morning so they don’t keep me awake at night. I’ve been on this combo for a solid 3-ish weeks and I really think things are coming together. I’m using my pill holder to make sure I have all week’s pills in my purse and properly doled out so I’m less likely to forget them. Solid.

Henry is still peeing the bed, but he’s resigned to the pull-ups (although he still hates them with the fire of a thousand dragons) until he gets through this. He’s also eating constantly, so I think perhaps his body is going through something that is making it hard for his bladder to keep up. I’m giving him time. When he can go two weeks without peeing in the pull-up, we’ll try again. No worries anymore.

He cannot, however, apparently sleep in his own bed. He often wakes up and goes out to the couch to sleep, or gets up several times when it’s time to sleep because he just can’t fall asleep (although he rarely gives himself time to fall asleep). I know this – I have this same issue. I understand, but it’s still frustrating that he’s always getting back up after bedtime and there’s always several tuck-ins before he falls asleep, and still he often ends up on the couch. He tells me the couch is cozy, but he can’t seem to explain what’s wrong with his own bed that I could fix. Please, tell me what I can do to fix this.

I’m out of town right now, for work. I don’t necessarily mind work travel, but it is lonely and I miss my family. I’m in a beautiful city right now but I really don’t want to enjoy it; I want to go to my hotel room and get into my pjs and watch Gilmore Girls. I’m getting myself out for decent dinners, because as long as I’m stuck in a different city I should enjoy food/restaurants I can’t have at home, right? Otherwise, yeah, I’m in my hotel room in my pjs watching Gilmore Girls.

Last weekend, though, C and I had an overnight date night wherein we saw Sir! Paul! McCartney! It was a great weekend and a great concert (he played for a solid 2hours 50 minutes). We also saw Gone Girl and I watched for artful side wang (it was too brief). The movie was excellent, but my favorite part of it was when it ended and all the people in the theater who hadn’t read the book were verbally outraged. OUTRAGED. I chuckled.

Spencer’s school called me yesterday to tell me that he was feeling sick and needed to go home. Of course, I’m stuck out of town so I called my husband to go get him. He threw up in the school parking lot before getting home and I felt so bad for not being there for him. I know, realistically, that I couldn’t do anything more for him than my husband could, but still. I wanted to be there. Thankfully, it appears that once he threw up he started feeling much better and there wasn’t a repeat of that, and he was perfectly fine (and angry he wasn’t allowed to eat properly) by dinnertime. I believe he went to school today. So what is that? Not food poisoning, but maybe something didn’t agree with him? I don’t know.

Fresh Air

I wrote this post on Tuesday, 10/14 - more than a week ago. I'd change the writing so it reflects now, but I like how I felt that morning so I'm keeping it. I had to add photos, and beware - I added a crap ton of photos (and I don't have photo editing software on this computer so they look exactly like they did when I took them, sorry). I still feel the last wisps of that recharging, despite being slightly underwater with all my obligations. San Antonio, man. It was amazing.

I'm sitting at the airport before dawn to catch a flight for work on this, my first day back to work from vacation. It was one of those nights where I was so worried about missing my flight that I woke up a dozen times and even dreamt I had missed my flight. And you know what? I don't even care. I mind, but only a slight bit. Mostly I'm still on that post-vacation high.

This weekend, man, it was exactly what I needed. As this month filled up with a crazy amount of work travel and numerous other craziness I thought, if I hadn't put so much money into this trip, I would definitely cancel. I was nervous, I had been having anxiety issues and man, so much work. But I cannot justify canceling a trip unless it's dire after I've spent the money, so I was in. Thank god.

This weekend was the most relaxing, most fun I've had in I don't know how long. I spent time with friends, relaxed, hung out, ate my weight in tex-mex, and just completely recharged. I saw great old friends for the first time and made lifelong friends with people I knew but didn't really feel like I "knew". So many inside jokes and ongoing laughs. So. Much. Fun.

Fabulous Mexican Martini and Molly with her gross Paloma (ha)

All the sweets. I want all the sweets.

Breakfast tacos!

All the tortillas, all the time (Alamos Cafe)

Goodness, I added a lot of photos of the Alamo. I will never forget the Alamo!

It appears all the pictures of Dawn I have are with that same expression. Certainly no shrinking violet.

I'm still irritated I can't get this at home. I bought the whole 12-pk seasonal collection for the two bottles.

I ate all this food for breakfast. All of it (Magnolia Pancake Haus)

Goodbye, shoes.

Goodbye, Texas.

And when I returned, I had pizza with my family and still had another day off to spend mildly cleaning, going out to lunch with an old friend, and going on a day date with myself to see Judge. I'm so recharged, and I know it won't last and I'm okay with that. I'm going to ride it out until I can't anymore.

Friday catch-up on a Monday

I wrote a post on Tuesday about my fantastic vacation in San Antonio, but then I set it aside to attach pictures and you know how that goes. It’s still there in drafts. I did have an amazing time, and I will post it but hmm, maybe this weekend. Here are some other things though. I also started this on Friday but again …

-          Spencer got in big trouble this week at school. They did not punish him for said offense at school, but I struggled with an appropriate home punishment. We decided after the day to think about it, to a) have him write a letter to his AP apologizing for said offense. B) no video games or kindle for the week. C) his daily reading was increased to 45 minutes a day (this basically to take the time he would be playing video games) d) for two weekends he has to help us do the full house cleaning, and he cannot play until the cleaning is done. I think it’s appropriate without being too long and horrible that he forgets his offense. I do think he got it. At least, at the time. Six year olds are not known for their common sense.

-          After multiple months of Henry peeing his bed a couple times a week, yesterday we decided to switch to pull-ups. He was hysterical about this event. I was very nice about it – I went on about how it wasn’t a punishment, and how sometimes a kid’s body has problems and if he works it out we’ll go back to underwear. Anyhow, he flipped, sobbed through target while we bought some, burst out crying randomly through the evening when he thought about it, got hysterical again when it was time to get ready for bed, and then cried again through his bedtime show. We have decided to do a sticker chart for him, if he goes 14 days without an accident we’ll try underwear again.

-          My anxiety has been fairly under control this week. I’ve had a couple anxiety-causing issues this week, but I think that I’ve held it together most of the time. I started taking an additional homeopathic anxiety meds on top of my prescription, and I really think the combination is working.

-          I have been reading like a maniac this month. Two thirds through, I’m on my seventeenth book (well this one is a novella, but I put both on because it balances out the 500-page books too). I did have some relaxing times at the top of the month, but I’ve got things going on at the end where I’ll be out of town by myself for a few days so I expect I’ll have more time to read.

-          Today is my first day back in the office in 10 days. I’ll just leave that here, because I’m knee deep. I’ve got 4.5 days and then I’m out again. Sigh.

-          Drink this, if you are in select cities in Texas, California or Colorado.

Skipping by

So I haven’t been post real posts in a little bit, honestly, because I’m still a little bit of a mess. I wish I wasn’t; I wish I was bouncing back appropriately but it seems like I feel better and Bam! Emeril hits me upside the head and I’m sobbing in a corner. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound like that interesting to read about. I don’t know if I want to look back at this time and remember how down I was, how out of control my anxiety is.

I saw my doctor a few weeks ago, but I was having a good day and I really truly thought I was heading in the right direction. The good direction. I’m going to work on it some more myself to see if I can get myself out of meltdown city, but I know where I am and I know if it’s not working I can call her. I have a plan in place. I’m going to try some herbal supplements that have no known drug interactions, and I’m going to hope that somehow something makes a difference.

I don’t want to remember feeling this way. I want to remember the good things. I think that is why people sometimes make their lives look so good on their blogs, on Instagram, on facebook. Who wants to look back to last weekend and remember not getting out of pjs all day because you could not put that much effort into living? Who wants to think back to yesterday when you accidentally broke something irreplaceable of your kids’ in a hysterical attempt to make sure there were no fire hazards in the house, and then you sat on a foot stool in the middle of your living room and just wept?

Not Me.

So things are not good. All of the above happened, including a huge hysteria where I was sure there was something on fire in my air conditioning and I broke things that can’t be replaced and today where I spent most of the day right on that edge where you can’t stop crying. I didn’t start, which is good because I wouldn’t have stopped.

But some things, some excellent things, have happened. I “ran” a race that was actually a scavenger hunt. I had been looking for a way out of it for weeks because I didn’t train at all, but instead I went with an old friend and a new friend and had a great time.

We went to the Epcot Food and Wine Festival and ate and drank our way around the countries – it was delicious and amazing. Canadian Filet Mignon with mushrooms and a truffle sauce, Italian Prosecco and chocolate cannoli, Brazilian cheese bread and coconut candy, craft beer flights, kimchi hot dogs, perogis, lobster ravioli, fried plantains … I’m sure there was more, but so much. It was lovely. It was a gorgeous day and we all had a good time.

When all is said and done, this is what I want to remember. These happy faces, including mine.

September groceries

This is probably going to be a long boring post that won't interest anyone but me, but I'm warning you in advance. It won’t be quite as long but still boring because I’ve decided to split meal plans into separate posts, so this is just groceries. I kept a running tally of everything a purchased and everything I spent on groceries/household needs for the month of September. Feel free to skip this post completely if you want.

Here's a quick breakdown if you're interested in flat numbers with no breakdown:

in four weeks we spent $509.23 in groceries/household purchases
in four weeks we spent $486.44 in restaurant/food out

Looking at our actual purchases, I'm pretty sure our grocery bill was about average. Our restaurant total was probably about $100 more than usual because we stayed overnight in a hotel and had two extra meals that we paid for that we wouldn't normally do. We didn't go out at all that last week because I had plenty of food in the house and I had plans on Saturday so we didn't go to Disney - otherwise there would have been one extra dinner out (and that probably means our restaurant total was actually probably on par with normal). So. We could easily spend less, but I don't know that we really care to? One thousand dollars in a month for two adults and two children, not really skimping at all. Includes alcohol, school lunches, and everything. I spent most of the grocery bill on fruits, vegetables and cheese. Beautiful, wonderful cheese.

Week one:

Publix

Salad mix bags x2 – BOGO

Apples

Peaches

Asparagus

Bananas

Avocados

Tomatoes

Cantaloupe

White wine x2 – BOGO

Arnold bread x6 – BOGO

Pita bread

Sandwich thins

Frozen biscuits

Goat cheese

Feta cheese

Cage free brown eggs

Trop 50 OJ

Turkey sausage

Dijon mustard

Deli ready-made pizza dough x2- BOGO

Townhouse crackers x2 - BOGO

Tzaziki dip – deli

Dole fruit cups x2 – BOGO

Spent 98.62

Saved 40.57

Bought not on list: biscuits, crackers

Target

Blue Diamond Nut Thins

Bisquick

Corn

Scooby doo Fruit snacks (clearance)

Qtips

Cotton Makeup Remover pads

Spent 17.96

Saved 1.39

Not on list: make up remover pads, fruit snacks

Second trip to Publix:

Katsup

Lemons

Baking Soda

Spent 5.08

Publix trip #3

Nail polish remover

Cheese slices

Yogurt

Spent 7.37

Saved .99

Publix trip #4 (same day)

Mini mozzarella balls (I can’t believe I forgot these on the first trip of the day)

4.99

Other food purchases:

Subway (two lunches) $9.47

Vending machine: $.85

Terrible Vietnamese dinner: $17

Dinner at Epcot (blown budget, yay!) $90

Total spent groceries/household $134.02

Total restaurant/other: $117.32

Week two:

I started the week off monetarily really poor. Target during breakfast hours to get breakfast things and also got Starbucks for all of us. Plus some additional foodstuff.

Target

Bacon

Muffins

Eggs

Yogurt

Shredded mozz

Tissues

Spent $31.95

Saved $1.67

Starbucks $9.42

Saving grace? I remembered to take back a pair of water shoes I bought a couple weeks ago, so I got $16 back (although I didn't save that in my total).

Publix trip #1

Chicken broth

Enchilada sauce

Diced tomatoes

Canned mushrooms

Pizza sauce

Yellow rice

Cucumber

Tomatoes x2 BOGO

Bell peppers

Onions

Garlic

Celery

Zucchini

Bananas

spinach

Cream cheese

Mexican blend cheese

Sharp cheddar block

Parm cheese block

String cheese

Butter

Tunafish

Ground pork

Turkey Italian sausage

Deli ham

Deli bologna

Spent 70.81

Saved 9.56

Bought not on list: extra cheeses, tuna

Other food purchases:

Vending Machine lunch: $1.50

Thursday lunch w C $39

Ice cream for the kids $5

Starbucks $17.72
Starbucks $5.06
Red Robin $45
Chuy's $55

Groceries/household $102.76
Restaurant/Other 177.70

Week three:

Trader Joe's

10 bottles of wine (what? I was out!)

salsa
tortilla chips
pappardelle
dried cranberries
pumpkin seeds
dumplings
pork roast
frozen waffles
yogurt
olive chiabatta
chicken burgers
turkey/chicken sausages
ricotta
mozz
goat cheese
blue cheese
brie
eggs
bananas
oranges
brussel sprouts
preserves

spent $171.07
most of those things weren't on my list. It was a bad day.

Publix trip

La Croix x6 (BOGO)

Ice

Capri Sun

Strawberries

Raspberries

Blueberries

Grapes

Spent $35.88

Saved 16.16

Dinner out on Thursday $18.87 (salad place, kids eat free)
Friday $2.55 for eggs from the cafe at work.

We were at a beach resort for the weekend, and spent. Too much.
$75 dinner/drinks Saturday
$45 breakfast Sunday
$50 lunch Sunday

total groceries: 206.95
total restaurant/other: 191.42

Week four:

Publix Trip

Total cereal
k-cups (work)
green beans
cucumber
mushrooms
grapes
bananas
apples
tater tots
american cheese
laughing cow
deli ham
bread x2 BOGO
cheez its x2 BOGO
kraft mac & cheese x2 BOGO
eggs

Spent 65.50
Saved $15.10

What I read: September

reread:

48. The Likeness - Tana French

new:

55. The Silent Wife - A.S.A. Harrison I am torn on this. I listened to the audiobook, and it was fine. Not spectacular. Honestly I can't remember much about this.

56. The Cuckoo's Calling - Robert Galbraith Loved it. I love the characters and I was genuinely surprised by "whodunit" although it didn't feel like it was coming out of left field.

57. Shotgun Lovesongs - Nicholas Butler I tried to listen to this in August when I was coming down with strep and didn't get into it at all, but I gave it another shot and quite enjoyed it. Non-genre, lovely. And I really liked the audio - they had different people reading for each perspective and I thought that was excellent.

58. The Secret Place - Tana French Ahh, Tana. You can't go wrong. My little issue was the weird magic weirdness, but I loved the pure story. Good stuff.

59. The Redbreast - Jo Nesbo Okay, so in the grand scheme, I didn't like this book as much as the many other Nesbo books I've read. HOWEVER. This is where so much happens that is alluded to in the later books, it was good to read it. Ellen is killed in this book. The horrible crooked cop is revealed in this one. Hole meets Raquel in this one. It was good to read. I wish I had read it before reading all the others.

60. The Silkworm - Robert Galbraith I also loved this, however I got it in audio and holy hell, it's too long to listen to. I felt like I did nothing but listen to this book and it still took me weeks. But good stuff. Again, I didn't know whodunit. I had ideas, but I was wrong. 

61. Delancey - Molly Wizenberg This was much better than My Homemade Life (which I liked, but this was better). Good.

62. Ten Below Zero - Whitney Barbetti I'm not good at reviewing my friends' books. I think I'm not as interested in this genre as I thought I was, and I didn't feel the concept was as novel as the reviews indicate, and I didn't understand some things. But the writing itself was very good.

63. Torrent - Lindsay Buroker Apparently I read this just in time for the next one to come out, which makes me happy. Very strange, not my favorite but interesting. I think the next one will be better. It got really good at the end.

64. Magic Bites - Ilona Andrews Jen, was this a spin off of another series or something? I liked it a lot, but I felt like there wasn't enough explained considering the "world" is completely different. I liked the marked landmarks (like the Coke factory in Atlanta). I just felt a little lost sometimes and I wish I understood more. It's very much like Laurell K Hamilton without the gobs of sex though, so, good.

Time Passages and Costumes

We had a great weekend. After the last few weeks, it was well needed and I was desperately worried it would fall through. But it happened! And it was great. Here are a few pictures:

(my kids look too old)

Now to the more important stuff, and life, really. S’s school does themes for Halloween, and last year the theme was book characters. So even though he had already decided to go as Superman for Halloween, I made a PETER PAN costume myself by hand so he would have a book character. This year we got ahead of ourselves – he wanted to be Harry Potter and I thought HEY! Book character! We’re golden!

…

…

…

Apparently this year the first grade theme is “nursery rhyme characters.” Shit. Anyone have an idea that is simple and I can make? Because I’m a little annoyed and I’m thinking of sending him to school as Harry Potter anyhow. Last year kids were all sorts of superheroes and princesses despite the theme (and I guess those people are in books too but come on).

Henry is going to be Darth Vader, so I just need to get my crap together and make him a black cape and order a Vader helmet and I’m done there. I think they’ve ruined their light sabers, so I might order him a new one of those (that is not well used, including teeth marks).