So I haven't been doing much posting as of late, but it's not because there's not much going on. On the contrary, there's loads going on!
Work is better; it's been 3 weeks since I cried. I flew to Ft. Lauderdale for work one day, and I had planned on going to Jacksonville but that rescheduled until the end of this month. In two weeks I go to Panama City -- do I know anyone there I can see? Let me know! :) Traveling for work makes me feel like a grown up. Now if there was a little less work needing to be done. I had today scheduled off and I really didn't want to work, but there were things I had to have done by end of year. So yesterday I got in at 6:30am, ate breakfast and lunch at my desk while I worked, and stayed until 7pm. I didn't finish quite everything, but enough that I felt really good about how I left my desk. The things that they said "this will be done by end of year" are done. That's the important thing.
Today Spencer had his second flu shot, and I took him to daycare afterward (I kind of guilted her into staying open past 12 so I'd have some time ...) and I came home to the Invisible Fence guy. He's installing it now! I talked them down in price over the phone by $300 (I told him I wasn't willing to pay that much and I'd have my friends come over to help for beer, and he lowered his price to what I told him I'd be willing to pay) and he got here an hour early to get it done, I imagine so he would have the rest of his NYE to himself. While he was setting up I decided to cut down the jasmine against the back fence of my yard. It was so overgrown and I couldn't figure out how he was going to get it done through the jasmine. Wow, what a job! I should have bought something electric or at least a machete, but instead I did it all with my hedge clippers. My arms are a little shaky now, but it took me 1 hour 15 minutes to cut down 64 feet of overgrown jasmine. I'm not sure how I'm going to get it over the fence now, but it's off the fence at least. I'm glad I did it now that it's done; it was so overgrown it was starting to break parts of the fence.
Anyhow, I keep starting and stopping this post, so I'm going to go now. Have a safe and happy new year!!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Happy Christmas!
These were hard pictures to take. For some reason, Spencer decided today of all days that he didn't want to leave Momma's arms. It was a little bothersome. Plus, I really wanted some Christmas pictures that I didn't spend an arm and a leg having someone take for me.
In other observations, has anyone noticed they renamed Pachabel's Canon as "Christmas Canon" and plays it on the Christmas channel? Ugh, I hate that song.
Anyhow, I photoshopped Spencer's black eye out of his Christmas pictures. Well, most of them. It wasn't a terrible bruise, but it was yellowing. I don't even know how he got it this time (it's the exact place as last time, right on the occipital ridge of his eye). His daycare provider said it was just like that when he woke up from his nap. He probably clocked himself on the playpen or something. Could have been worse, but every time I plan on taking pictures this happens!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
greetings from the 'hood! crazyhood, that is ...
It's a good thing I remembered to water the grass last night!
It's raining terribly today. A dreary, nasty, hard-to-find-a-satellite-signal day. And damn if my "40s on 4" station isn't coming in! It was hit-or-miss early this morning, but now I'm rocking to Jimmie Lunsford and Bing Crosby.
I hate to breathe a sigh of relief since it's only Thursday (read: a day and a half left for things to go to shit), but this week has been light years better than yesterweek. Things are looking up. Tuesday I decorated the tree and put up some decorations throughout the living room convincing me that it is, in fact, the holidays. We still haven't decorated outside (well, I built 3 one-foot light trees, but I don't know if they count; they look lonely) and I told Christen we could forgo the outer-baubles. He disagreed. But next year -- weekend after Thanksgiving, man. I want them up :)
I meant to start Jazzercise with April this week (yes, it is 1985 again) but I couldn't get my butt in gear on time, so instead I jogged/power walked the loop from my house to Target and around again. I think it's about 1 1/5 miles. Knowing me, if I clock it, it's probably only 1/2 a mile. But I'll believe in wishful thinking and decide that as long as it was a little difficult, it was worth it. If I can keep it up I can always extend the trip once I get better at it. If it's not raining I might take Spencer with me in the jogging stroller today. Maybe.
It's raining terribly today. A dreary, nasty, hard-to-find-a-satellite-signal day. And damn if my "40s on 4" station isn't coming in! It was hit-or-miss early this morning, but now I'm rocking to Jimmie Lunsford and Bing Crosby.
I hate to breathe a sigh of relief since it's only Thursday (read: a day and a half left for things to go to shit), but this week has been light years better than yesterweek. Things are looking up. Tuesday I decorated the tree and put up some decorations throughout the living room convincing me that it is, in fact, the holidays. We still haven't decorated outside (well, I built 3 one-foot light trees, but I don't know if they count; they look lonely) and I told Christen we could forgo the outer-baubles. He disagreed. But next year -- weekend after Thanksgiving, man. I want them up :)
I meant to start Jazzercise with April this week (yes, it is 1985 again) but I couldn't get my butt in gear on time, so instead I jogged/power walked the loop from my house to Target and around again. I think it's about 1 1/5 miles. Knowing me, if I clock it, it's probably only 1/2 a mile. But I'll believe in wishful thinking and decide that as long as it was a little difficult, it was worth it. If I can keep it up I can always extend the trip once I get better at it. If it's not raining I might take Spencer with me in the jogging stroller today. Maybe.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Teetering
It’s been a rough and tumble couple of weeks these weeks past. I hope yours was good. Mine, well, not so good.
Spencer’s been doing well; a little crabby here and there. With the teething, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Evidently he’s doing better than some babies (my mom says one of us wouldn’t stop crying through most of the teething stage). He doesn’t cry a lot, but he can get crabby at the drop of a hat, especially if he’s not getting enough attention. With attention, he doesn’t even worry about his teeth. I guess that’s most babies too, right? He cut a third bottom tooth this weekend, but those two top ones have been threatening for weeks. Hopefully they’ll come in soon and we’ll be good for a little while.
I have been under a ridiculous amount of stress with my job. Most of it is my own making, I know, because I can’t stand that I’m just not up to speed on most of my files. I open them and there’s so much I don’t know and it scares me. It’s not like you can Google lawsuits to get an overview of the system. What’s involved in appellate decisions, what the proper time periods are for different filings. I thought I knew a good bit before taking this position, but I only knew the tip of the ice berg. And I know it’s going to get better, and I know that there are people there to help me. I’m so scared of missing something I constantly feel like I’m in the dark. I know it’s a learning curve. I know it gets better.
And then, on top of the work stress, when something happens at home to cause more stress, I shut down. I didn’t know I could do that. My mom does it on occasion, but I’ve always been so much better at handling my stress. It turns out I can shut down too. Wednesday I stopped eating for a couple days. Nothing I did eat would stay in me. I slept for 12 hours at a time, or I didn’t sleep at all. I broke down in hysterics at work, on the phone with attorneys’ secretaries. I haven’t been that way in, well, never. This weekend was a mending time for me. I tried to start eating again (note: wings and beer on a fragile stomach are not the way to go). I tried to start paying attention to my husband and son again. We went garage saling, and went about our normal routine. It all helped. I think I’m better. Still teetering on the brink of craziness, but hopefully better.
One thing that did happen while I was breaking down is that I immersed myself in the Twilight books. Vampires have never really been my thing; I’m not a big fantasy reader. But I consume books; once I start, if it keeps me entertained, I’ll read until I finish. I’ve never been one to read at bedtime because it’ll keep me up all night (I take that back; I’ll read at bedtime but it will keep me up at night. I have to do it when I’m willing to stay up). However, I often start picking at what I read. I’m a constant editor – loopholes in sense, grammatical errors, typos … these things take me out of a story more than they would most people. (Please don’t use this to critique my blog; I write almost in stream of consciousness here). I had none of these problems with the Twilight saga, and I don’t know if that is because they didn’t exist or because I was that obsessed. I didn’t think I’d get sucked in, but I did. I read the first book on Monday. Thursday, I read the second and third (not nearly as good, but I wanted to know more of the story). Friday, I read the fourth. Sunday, I re-read the fourth (I think it was better than the first). Monday, I found the draft of the fifth that she posted on her website half-finished, and read that. I can’t get enough. I hate to say it, but it’s all in how it makes me feel. And how I feel is obsessed. Christen might get me my own copy (I borrowed them from a friend), but I kind of hope he doesn’t. What’s to stop me from re-reading them over and over then? I’ve heard mixed reviews about the movie, so I’m torn about seeing it.
Anyhow, there are only a couple weeks until Christmas, and I’m taking most of the holiday off. I’m taking Dec 22-26 off, and then Dec 31-Jan 2 (So basically I’m working 2 days out of two weeks). I’m super excited, although I think I’ll have anxiety about my desk the whole time I’m not at it. Spencer and I will be able to finish our Christmas shopping (I’ve been doing some, but mostly I’ve been putting it off terribly, and unlike in previous years) and maybe see some relatives that haven’t met him yet. Before my vacation, I only have one trip to Ft. Lauderdale and one meeting in Clearwater , and otherwise I’m at my desk non-stop, so hopefully I’ll be able to keep everything under control over the next two weeks. It would be so nice to be breakdown-free through the New Year.
Spencer’s been doing well; a little crabby here and there. With the teething, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Evidently he’s doing better than some babies (my mom says one of us wouldn’t stop crying through most of the teething stage). He doesn’t cry a lot, but he can get crabby at the drop of a hat, especially if he’s not getting enough attention. With attention, he doesn’t even worry about his teeth. I guess that’s most babies too, right? He cut a third bottom tooth this weekend, but those two top ones have been threatening for weeks. Hopefully they’ll come in soon and we’ll be good for a little while.
I have been under a ridiculous amount of stress with my job. Most of it is my own making, I know, because I can’t stand that I’m just not up to speed on most of my files. I open them and there’s so much I don’t know and it scares me. It’s not like you can Google lawsuits to get an overview of the system. What’s involved in appellate decisions, what the proper time periods are for different filings. I thought I knew a good bit before taking this position, but I only knew the tip of the ice berg. And I know it’s going to get better, and I know that there are people there to help me. I’m so scared of missing something I constantly feel like I’m in the dark. I know it’s a learning curve. I know it gets better.
And then, on top of the work stress, when something happens at home to cause more stress, I shut down. I didn’t know I could do that. My mom does it on occasion, but I’ve always been so much better at handling my stress. It turns out I can shut down too. Wednesday I stopped eating for a couple days. Nothing I did eat would stay in me. I slept for 12 hours at a time, or I didn’t sleep at all. I broke down in hysterics at work, on the phone with attorneys’ secretaries. I haven’t been that way in, well, never. This weekend was a mending time for me. I tried to start eating again (note: wings and beer on a fragile stomach are not the way to go). I tried to start paying attention to my husband and son again. We went garage saling, and went about our normal routine. It all helped. I think I’m better. Still teetering on the brink of craziness, but hopefully better.
One thing that did happen while I was breaking down is that I immersed myself in the Twilight books. Vampires have never really been my thing; I’m not a big fantasy reader. But I consume books; once I start, if it keeps me entertained, I’ll read until I finish. I’ve never been one to read at bedtime because it’ll keep me up all night (I take that back; I’ll read at bedtime but it will keep me up at night. I have to do it when I’m willing to stay up). However, I often start picking at what I read. I’m a constant editor – loopholes in sense, grammatical errors, typos … these things take me out of a story more than they would most people. (Please don’t use this to critique my blog; I write almost in stream of consciousness here). I had none of these problems with the Twilight saga, and I don’t know if that is because they didn’t exist or because I was that obsessed. I didn’t think I’d get sucked in, but I did. I read the first book on Monday. Thursday, I read the second and third (not nearly as good, but I wanted to know more of the story). Friday, I read the fourth. Sunday, I re-read the fourth (I think it was better than the first). Monday, I found the draft of the fifth that she posted on her website half-finished, and read that. I can’t get enough. I hate to say it, but it’s all in how it makes me feel. And how I feel is obsessed. Christen might get me my own copy (I borrowed them from a friend), but I kind of hope he doesn’t. What’s to stop me from re-reading them over and over then? I’ve heard mixed reviews about the movie, so I’m torn about seeing it.
Anyhow, there are only a couple weeks until Christmas, and I’m taking most of the holiday off. I’m taking Dec 22-26 off, and then Dec 31-Jan 2 (So basically I’m working 2 days out of two weeks). I’m super excited, although I think I’ll have anxiety about my desk the whole time I’m not at it. Spencer and I will be able to finish our Christmas shopping (I’ve been doing some, but mostly I’ve been putting it off terribly, and unlike in previous years) and maybe see some relatives that haven’t met him yet. Before my vacation, I only have one trip to Ft. Lauderdale and one meeting in Clearwater , and otherwise I’m at my desk non-stop, so hopefully I’ll be able to keep everything under control over the next two weeks. It would be so nice to be breakdown-free through the New Year.
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