5 days.

So I'm 5 days late.

This is the first month that Christen and I decided not to prevent. We aren't trying, per se, but we aren't not trying. I haven't told him yet that I'm late -- I've decided that I would wait until after this weekend (we're going to a friend's wedding) before I get a test. The thing is, if I am -- I'm scared to death. I've always been scared I wouldn't be able to have children, but I'm scared to be pregnant. In my reading there's all these things I shouldn't eat, and things I should and shouldn't do, and ... labor scares the bejezus out of me. My mother's pelvic bones wouldn't shift and she had to have emergency c-sections, and I'm pretty sure I'll have the same issues. My cord was wrapped around my neck and I almost died twice -- who's to say this won't happen to my kid?

Anyhow, I'm only 5 days late. No need to think about these things yet.

The iPod shuffle

The first 10 songs on my iPod when put to shuffle:

• Juke Box Hero, Foreigner


• Me About You, The Turtles


• Work That Skirt, Blue Plate Special


• Let's Get Away from it All, Rockapella


• The Vatican Rag, Tom Lehrer


• Another Postecard, Barenaked Ladies


• The Luckiest, Ben Folds


• She's An Angel, TMBG


• My Funny Valentine, Frank Sinatra


• Colorblind, Counting Crows

Yours?

Ugh. I hate coming back to work after a 3-day weekend. Especially one as nice as this one was. We had a yard sale Saturday and Sunday, and Saturday was very successful. Sunday I read two full books and made $4.50 while Christen did some mulching. Nice. Monday we had a cookout and I made ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs, guacamole, deviled eggs, celery w/ cream cheese, baked mac & cheese (again) and baked beans. It was delightful. I think everyone had a good time -- I know I did. There were about 16 people there, and by the end of the night there were 6 of us playing poker which I lost at but stayed in until the very end. One couple ended up winning so we let them split the pot since they were going home together anyhow. :) It's honeymoon money for them, because they're getting married next weekend.

But I started feeling ill last night, and I had a terrible dream that Christen was leaving me and I woke up sobbing hysterically and could not be consoled even though Christen tried. When I got to work today the first thing I did was check my accrued hours to see if I could afford to leave, but alas that is not the case. Blah.

Monday morning meme (although Monday was a holiday)

1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. include the city/state and country you’re in.

nicole (sydney, australia)
velverse (kuala lumpur, malaysia)
lb (san giovanni in marignano, italy)
selba (jakarta, indonesia)
olivia (london, england)
ml (utah, usa)
lotus (toronto, canada)
tanabata (saitama, japan)
andi (dallas [ish], texas, united states)
todd (louisville, kentucky, united states)
miss kendra (los angeles, california, u.s.a)
jiggs casey (berkeley, ca, usa! usa! usa!)
tits mcgee (new england, usa)
joe (ne tennessee, usa)
10k monkeys (chattanooga, tennessee, usa)
big stupid tommy (athens, tennessee, usa)
newscoma (weakley county, tennessee, usa)
russ mcbee (knoxville, tennessee, usa)
atomictumor mrs eaves (oak ridge, tennessee, usa)
oh really? lissakay (oak ridge, tn, usa)
mark steel blogitude.com (knoxville, tn, usa)
swanky the swank pad (knoxville, tn, usa)
johnny dollar’s vault (baltimore, maryland, us of a)
NPR Junky (Wilmington, Delaware, USA)
aprilbapryll (Palm Harbor, Florida, USA)


2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location. (I have actually picked places from all over the Bay area, because we don't often eat in our town.)

1. Vallarta's- when I got this survey, the first thing I thought of was Vallarta's! They have the best Mexican ever, and nobody there speaks English. It's awesome. The sangria rocks too - very strong! They have 3 locations in Tampa (family owned chain in Tampa only) and all of them are amazing. Everytime we want Mexican we fret because the closest one is 30 minutes away. But most of the time we make the drive anyhow. If not willing to make the drive, Los Mariachis is in Clearwater (2 locations) and it's damn good too.



2. Ginzu - I really don't eat off the chains in my area too much (we always make a point of it when out of town, but not so much here; I'm not really sure why not). But sushi is one of those things I can't get enough of, so I'm constantly trying new places. There are great places near me (there's a great one at the corner of Enterprise Blvd and McMullen Booth) but since I can't remember the names of those, I'll recommend Ginzu. This is out by my husband's cousin's house, so she and I go everytime I get out there. It's really just outside Tampa in Lutz, and the rolls are fabulous! They are fairly inexpensive, the food is wonderful and the people there are so nice! Last time I was there I accidently spilled my entire glass of wine down the front of me and they got me a new glass and helped me clean up, and then they harrassed me about it all night! It was hilarious :)



3. Lin Garden is hands-down the best chinese food in the Bay area. Conveniently located next to the original Vallarta's, when we lived down the street it was a hard decision which of the two we wanted to go to. The food is wonderful - amazing. We don't have anything that stands up to it near us. Try the crab rangoon - the best I've ever had (and I judge chinese restaurants by their crab rangoon).



4. India Grill - I've eaten a lot of Indian food since I first tried it, but the first place I tried it (with Random_Speak and Co.) will remain near and dear to my heart. Try the Lamb Saag or the Butter Chicken, and don't forget the herb naan! Fantabulous!


5. Mr. Souvlaki - If you only eat at one Greek restaurant this year, make it Mr. Souvlaki. I can't make a list like this living where I do (5 minutes from Tarpon) without including Greek food. There are a lot of awesome Greek restaurants, but this one is the best of the best. The gyros are great, Christen's favorite entree is the Greek Chow Mein -- so huge it feeds him for 3 days! The greek salads are awesome, but the best thing on the menu is, of course, the Souvlaki. If you eat pork, order it pork. You won't be let down. Also order it with extra Tzatziki sauce - I could suck that down by itself! They've lost a bit of the ambiance since they moved from the docks to the main road, but you can still get a good Opa! when you order the Saganaki (flaming goat cheese), a must for visitors.

3. Tag 5 others. You people, you’re eclectic. Go and be eclectic for me!

I don't like tagging people, but if you're in the mood for a meme, this is great fun!

The devil made me do it, and the devil is cheese.

I pledged to bring baked macaroni & cheese to the potluck at work today. So last night I prepared it without baking it. I put it in the refrigerator with the express intention of baking it this morning before work, so it would still be warm when lunch started.

So when I went to bed last night I set my alarm for 5:20am. I usually set it for 5:50am, but I don't actually get out of bed until 6:30. So I figured that I would get up by 5:45-6, and would have time to bake the mac & cheese before I had to come to work.

What I did not count on was that when I have to get up earlier than usual, I am in a general fog that makes me get up at the buzzer instead of hitting snooze and work on autopilot until I wake up about 20 minutes later. This means that I actually got up at 5:20am, put the mac in the oven and couldn't figure out what I was going to do for the next hour. So I took cat naps while waiting for the casarole to cook, and then got up and got ready for work.

But man, it was worth it.

Tag!

I've tagged myself in a meme that Jamie did called 5 songs that knock your socks off. Now, first of all it is terribly difficult to pick just 5 songs. So I've decided to pick songs not based on quality (although they are definitely quality) but based on the emotional attachment I have to them.

1. Walking Man by James Taylor: It's had to pick just one of Taylor's songs because I do love all of them so intensely. I've seen him 3 times in concert and his is the only concert I've actually shed a tear at because it was so beautiful. But Walking Man is my very favorite of all of them. I obsess about that song.



2. Zak and Sara by Ben Folds:
   

   Often Sara would have spells where she lost time
   She saw the future, she heard voices from inside
   The kind of voices she would soon learn to deny
   Because at home they got her smacked
   
   Zak and Sara
   Zak and Sara
   
   Zak called his dad about layaway plans
   And Sara told the friendly salesman that:
   "You'll all die in your cars,
   And why's it gotta be dark?
   And you're all working in a submarine"

   
   
   This song is heartbreaking. I love it. Period.



3. Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles On Christen's and my first date he sang this song to me and I melt everytime I hear it.



4. Do you Remember by Jack Johnson This song reminds me of everything college. I adore this song.



5. Bedroom Dancing off the Cruel Intentions soundtrack Now, really I love the whole soundtrack but there's something about this song that makes me crank it up and open the car windows. My favorite lyrics?
   

   And led me to her bedroom.
   And then she did it,
   Stripped me half-naked,
   And told me, that her body, was sacred.
   She said I could take it,
   If I danced with her,
   But somehow I knew
   That she was an indian-giver.

Do you have 5 songs that really knock your socks off? Let me know!

I think I've officially matured.

We did yard work all weekend. And I liked it. Our backyard is really coming along! The only thing I hate is putting so much time and effort (and money) and it's not even ours. But we did decide to start looking to buy at the end of the year (when our lease is up). Woohoo!

Now I'm sore and I don't want to work. Blah. :)

What I need to remind myself

If and/or when my best friend ever decides to be a friend again, I need to remind myself of how she's treated me.

• when she was getting married, I helped her with everything. Whenever she didn't want to do something that needed to be done in order to move forward with the wedding planning, I went over and started it for her so it would be easier for her to handle. However, when I was getting married she never helped and was never there for me.


• when it was getting close to my wedding and I was stressed already she stopped answering the phone. She stopped calling me back. I would call her 30 times in a week and she would refuse to take my calls.


• She still hasn't paid me back for my bachelorette party which she said she would split with me. She also was a sullen pain in the ass during the grand majority of it.


• She decided to take a "trial separation" from her husband the week I got back from my honeymoon. Again, she refused to talk to me and refused to let me be there for her, instead leaning on a "close friend" from that goddamn game.


• She told her husband that no one cared about her, and that the only person that cared enough to call was my ex-fiance, which is a freaking lie because I was the one who told him about what was going on (only loosely, because it wasn't my place to tell him the details) and I had left messages, texts and MySpace messages for her to no avail.


• She is consistantly not there for me, refuses to let me be there for her, and martyrs herself whenever possible.


• She has lied directly to me about the nature of certain "friendships"

So this has been a one-sided friendship for a very long time. And, as I told her the last time I messaged her, I'm going to stop ramming my friendship down her throat. If she doesn't want it, I'm not going to force her. The thing is, before the wedding I really really needed her and she wasn't there for me. Now, I don't need her so much. So even though I do want desperately to be her friend, I think our friendship is dead. She's done this before. Last time she didn't talk to me for over 6 months, then called me to see if I would be her maid of honor. This time I need to remind myself why we aren't together so I can make an informed decision on whether to be her friend again.

You know, I'm a damn good friend. I try to be non-judgemental, I only give advise if requested, if I give advise, requested or not, I rarely get upset if it's not followed because I recognise that your life is not mine. I'm always there for my friends, to the point of getting calls in the middle of the night when they need me to going over after work when I feel like crap just to be there. I hang out at houses with cats (even though I'm severely allergic) to be with them, I clean their house if they need it and don't want to do it. I do anything. But I won't force it anymore. I have enough friends. Friends who are there for me too. And I think I can only do this again if she decides to make our friendship a two-way street, and I don't know if she can be unselfish enough for that.

A conversation with a cute Chickfila guy (the first I've seen)

CCG: That will be $4.32.
Me: When did the price go up? It used to be $4.11!
CCG: Ahh, it's been about 3-4 weeks.
Me: Oh okay. I haven't had breakfast here in about 6 weeks.
CCG: 6 weeks? How did you stay away that long? (Probably thinking, how the hell do you still remember how much your order is?)
Me: Well, I've had lunch a few times, but not breakfast.
CCG: Ha, that sounds like an admission.
Me: Yeah, I was a bit of an addict.
Together: giggling.

Okay, so it sounded better in person. But really, when did they get a cute guy and not the weird high school drop-outs?

What to Eat

This is an amazing book. Go buy it right away. You'll read it cover to cover, like I am.

What's your vine?

I bought this shirt in California. I plan on getting the whole line.

Starting Over

I need a change. So I've started another blog.

Look on my profile and you'll find me.

the next step

A lot of changes. Marriage, starting a family. Losing friends.

I thought it was time for a change. So this is where you'll find me.

Falling apart.

That is all. I'm falling apart. Pieces of me are everywhere. Don't trip over me.