Time change issues and Halloween documentation

My only problem with the time change, really, is how it messes up my internal food clock. I’m trying to get back on the healthy eating/maybe some random exercise wagon, which I know if somewhat of a lost cause when we’re hitting the home stretch of holidays that require stretchy pants. I got to work this morning and realized someone had eaten my breakfast yogurt (a coworker owned up to it, we have a dorm fridge in our department and there are three of us who bring in the same kinds of yogurt, it was an honest mistake). However since I was out a yogurt, I had no choice but to eat a cookie that I brought in, right?

I made Halloween candy cookies this weekend and brought some in for coworkers – they are just oatmeal cookies, and where you would add nuts or chocolate chips or raisins I added two cups of chopped chocolate bars. It worked out marvelously and I’ll have to make a second batch before I rid the house of Halloween candy. I promised my husband when I whisked half the cookies out of the house to bring to work.

But back to the internal clock – I ate my cookie, and it’s 9:48am and I’m starving for lunch. Or more breakfast, or something. I wasn’t that hungry this weekend and didn’t eat much at mealtimes, but now I feel like I could eat everything I had this weekend in one sitting. Probably not looking good for lunchtime, right? I’m thinking of digging into my lunch for a few bites of something to tide me over.

And because I didn’t share it on here previously, here are the boys at Halloween:

I made most of Henry’s costume (except the front part of his mask) and Spencer borrowed the Gryffindor robe and tie from a friend so it was a pretty easy (and cheap) Halloween. I worked out the school theme Halloween (nursery rhymes, if you remember) and S went as Yankee Doodle. I ordered him a tricorn hat and added a feather that we glued macaroni to. He wore it with a plain white polo and jeans, and was happy enough with the outcome.

I’m glad I didn’t say screw it and send him with his regular costume – last year for “book character” theme everyone was allowed to wear whatever, but this year the one boy who brought his Ironman costume wasn’t allowed to wear it. Poor kiddo.

Books I read: October

Holy crap, I read a lot this month. It was wonderful too - I didn't really feel like I was not doing things because I was reading, but there was just a lot of great things to read and I tore through them. I did get annoyed that I can only have 15 items out at a time on Overdrive and yet there is no way to return them when you're done. I maxed out, it was sad.

reread:
49. Into the Woods - Tana French
50. Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card
The Likeness - Tana French (I didn't put a number to this because it's on September's list; I got halfway through before the ebook timed out and I had to wait to get it again.)
51. Faithful Place - Tana French
52. The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer - Michelle Hodkin

New:
65. Magic Burns - Ilona Andrews I really got into this series and read all of it - I'm not going to comment on my thoughts for each book/novella in the series, but I really liked it. Very kick-ass female lead/supernatural romance without all the orgies and crazy sex of Laurell K Hamilton.
66. Silver Shadows - Richelle Mead LOVED this new book.
67. The Girl with All the Gifts - M. R. Carey This was twisted and I really didn't see the ending coming and the character development was top notch. Quite excellent
68. Blood Charged - Lindsay Buroker I'm liking this series better as it keeps going.
69. Destiny Unchosen - Lindsay Buroker (novella) Eh, I'm still not sold on this series. But I love LB, so I'm in.
70. To All the Boys I've Loved Before - Jenny Han This was a sweet teen romance, good stuff.
71. The Sky is Everywhere - Jandy Nelson Oh my, I think this was my favorite of the month. It was so wonderful, and even though I rarely cry I actually did for this one. So perfect.
72. If I Stay - Gayle Forman Meh, it was okay - overrated? melodramatic, but sweet.
73. Thorn Fall - Lindsay Buroker
74. Anatomy of a Misfit - Andrea Portes I read this because it was being PUSHED on Overdrive. It was okay. Dragomir should not have been used - it's not common enough a last name for me to ever not associate it with Vampire Academy.
75. Magic Strikes - Ilona Andrews
76. Magic Bleeds - Ilona Andrews
77. Magic Slays - Ilona Andrews
78. Magic Mourns - Ilona Andrews (novella)
79. Gunmetal Magic - Ilona Andrews
80. Magic Gifts - Ilona Andrews (novella)
80. Magic Rises - Ilona Andrews
81. Magic Breaks - Ilona Andrews
82. A Monster Calls - Patrick Ness This. Save this for when you need a cathartic ugly cry. I knew where it was going, I thought I was not going to get involved with the characters, but even though I knew where it was going, I was seriously choked up in the "don't wake your sleeping husband with your sobs" sort of way.

Starting late seems to be a thing for me

I forgot about NaNoBloMo, or whatever it is, until tonight when I thought about reading my blog feed before it backs up again and Lo! People are blogging! Every. Day. :)

Last year I didn't commit to blogging every day, but I did commit to commenting on all those blogs. It was exhausting but I felt like hey, I love comments - these people like comments too! I might try again this month, if I can.

Today we found out that Spencer was not telling us crazy stories. What story, you may ask? A couple times a week he told us that his friend from school/aftercare was moving to our neighborhood. Then he said that friend was moving next door. Mind you, he actually told me this before I even knew my neighbors were leaving.

So you can imagine our surprise when the boys were playing out back and Spencer said "It's so-and-so!" and C said "no it's not, you just think so because they're speaking Spanish" and I stuck my head out the back door and wouldn't you know it, SO-AND-SO WAS IN THE NEXT DOOR BACKYARD. THEY BOUGHT THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR.

So. On one hand, it's very exciting for my six year old to have one of his best friends is now going to be living next door. We don't know many people on our block so he's never had a lot of friends to play with, and now he'll basically have a built-in friend. On the other, having an extra child over is EXHAUSTING, and now it will happen so much more! After F left (they are in the process of moving, over this month), a new neighbor girl came over to play (or mostly to yap at me for an hour about her entire slightly-scary life story and holy crap that girl talks) and we invited the girl from down the street out, so I basically had five kids today and how do you guys with more than two children do it?

Catching Up a Little

So like, woah. I have been horribly behind on my blog reading, and I can only attribute that to the fact that I have a new work computer, and when that computer is hooked to the work network, I am unable to access most blogs. It now appears that when I take that computer and use it on wifi somewhere different (I now have a laptop), I am able to get on those blogs. I didn’t know that previously though, and most of my blog reading was done on breaks during the day so there was just no possibility. So! Today I read through several weeks and now I feel semi up-to-date with your lives. Semi. I also haven’t been on twitter a lot these days. I don’t know why, I just haven’t. When I do log on, I get overwhelmed by all that I have missed so I usually send a few tweets and then log back off.

But I have a few minutes, so I thought I would update you on me. Because that’s why you’re here, right? A burning desire to know exactly what I’ve been doing with my life. (I kid, I kid)

I’ve been good. I may even venture to say I am VERY good. I haven’t had much anxiety at all in a bit (two weeks maybe?) I did change my medication; I did it myself, sort of. I added a homeopathic drug (SAM-e) on top of my prescription anxiety meds, and I realized that I need to take them in the morning so they don’t keep me awake at night. I’ve been on this combo for a solid 3-ish weeks and I really think things are coming together. I’m using my pill holder to make sure I have all week’s pills in my purse and properly doled out so I’m less likely to forget them. Solid.

Henry is still peeing the bed, but he’s resigned to the pull-ups (although he still hates them with the fire of a thousand dragons) until he gets through this. He’s also eating constantly, so I think perhaps his body is going through something that is making it hard for his bladder to keep up. I’m giving him time. When he can go two weeks without peeing in the pull-up, we’ll try again. No worries anymore.

He cannot, however, apparently sleep in his own bed. He often wakes up and goes out to the couch to sleep, or gets up several times when it’s time to sleep because he just can’t fall asleep (although he rarely gives himself time to fall asleep). I know this – I have this same issue. I understand, but it’s still frustrating that he’s always getting back up after bedtime and there’s always several tuck-ins before he falls asleep, and still he often ends up on the couch. He tells me the couch is cozy, but he can’t seem to explain what’s wrong with his own bed that I could fix. Please, tell me what I can do to fix this.

I’m out of town right now, for work. I don’t necessarily mind work travel, but it is lonely and I miss my family. I’m in a beautiful city right now but I really don’t want to enjoy it; I want to go to my hotel room and get into my pjs and watch Gilmore Girls. I’m getting myself out for decent dinners, because as long as I’m stuck in a different city I should enjoy food/restaurants I can’t have at home, right? Otherwise, yeah, I’m in my hotel room in my pjs watching Gilmore Girls.

Last weekend, though, C and I had an overnight date night wherein we saw Sir! Paul! McCartney! It was a great weekend and a great concert (he played for a solid 2hours 50 minutes). We also saw Gone Girl and I watched for artful side wang (it was too brief). The movie was excellent, but my favorite part of it was when it ended and all the people in the theater who hadn’t read the book were verbally outraged. OUTRAGED. I chuckled.

Spencer’s school called me yesterday to tell me that he was feeling sick and needed to go home. Of course, I’m stuck out of town so I called my husband to go get him. He threw up in the school parking lot before getting home and I felt so bad for not being there for him. I know, realistically, that I couldn’t do anything more for him than my husband could, but still. I wanted to be there. Thankfully, it appears that once he threw up he started feeling much better and there wasn’t a repeat of that, and he was perfectly fine (and angry he wasn’t allowed to eat properly) by dinnertime. I believe he went to school today. So what is that? Not food poisoning, but maybe something didn’t agree with him? I don’t know.

Fresh Air

I wrote this post on Tuesday, 10/14 - more than a week ago. I'd change the writing so it reflects now, but I like how I felt that morning so I'm keeping it. I had to add photos, and beware - I added a crap ton of photos (and I don't have photo editing software on this computer so they look exactly like they did when I took them, sorry). I still feel the last wisps of that recharging, despite being slightly underwater with all my obligations. San Antonio, man. It was amazing.

I'm sitting at the airport before dawn to catch a flight for work on this, my first day back to work from vacation. It was one of those nights where I was so worried about missing my flight that I woke up a dozen times and even dreamt I had missed my flight. And you know what? I don't even care. I mind, but only a slight bit. Mostly I'm still on that post-vacation high.

This weekend, man, it was exactly what I needed. As this month filled up with a crazy amount of work travel and numerous other craziness I thought, if I hadn't put so much money into this trip, I would definitely cancel. I was nervous, I had been having anxiety issues and man, so much work. But I cannot justify canceling a trip unless it's dire after I've spent the money, so I was in. Thank god.

This weekend was the most relaxing, most fun I've had in I don't know how long. I spent time with friends, relaxed, hung out, ate my weight in tex-mex, and just completely recharged. I saw great old friends for the first time and made lifelong friends with people I knew but didn't really feel like I "knew". So many inside jokes and ongoing laughs. So. Much. Fun.

Fabulous Mexican Martini and Molly with her gross Paloma (ha)

All the sweets. I want all the sweets.

Breakfast tacos!

All the tortillas, all the time (Alamos Cafe)

Goodness, I added a lot of photos of the Alamo. I will never forget the Alamo!

It appears all the pictures of Dawn I have are with that same expression. Certainly no shrinking violet.

I'm still irritated I can't get this at home. I bought the whole 12-pk seasonal collection for the two bottles.

I ate all this food for breakfast. All of it (Magnolia Pancake Haus)

Goodbye, shoes.

Goodbye, Texas.

And when I returned, I had pizza with my family and still had another day off to spend mildly cleaning, going out to lunch with an old friend, and going on a day date with myself to see Judge. I'm so recharged, and I know it won't last and I'm okay with that. I'm going to ride it out until I can't anymore.

Friday catch-up on a Monday

I wrote a post on Tuesday about my fantastic vacation in San Antonio, but then I set it aside to attach pictures and you know how that goes. It’s still there in drafts. I did have an amazing time, and I will post it but hmm, maybe this weekend. Here are some other things though. I also started this on Friday but again …

-          Spencer got in big trouble this week at school. They did not punish him for said offense at school, but I struggled with an appropriate home punishment. We decided after the day to think about it, to a) have him write a letter to his AP apologizing for said offense. B) no video games or kindle for the week. C) his daily reading was increased to 45 minutes a day (this basically to take the time he would be playing video games) d) for two weekends he has to help us do the full house cleaning, and he cannot play until the cleaning is done. I think it’s appropriate without being too long and horrible that he forgets his offense. I do think he got it. At least, at the time. Six year olds are not known for their common sense.

-          After multiple months of Henry peeing his bed a couple times a week, yesterday we decided to switch to pull-ups. He was hysterical about this event. I was very nice about it – I went on about how it wasn’t a punishment, and how sometimes a kid’s body has problems and if he works it out we’ll go back to underwear. Anyhow, he flipped, sobbed through target while we bought some, burst out crying randomly through the evening when he thought about it, got hysterical again when it was time to get ready for bed, and then cried again through his bedtime show. We have decided to do a sticker chart for him, if he goes 14 days without an accident we’ll try underwear again.

-          My anxiety has been fairly under control this week. I’ve had a couple anxiety-causing issues this week, but I think that I’ve held it together most of the time. I started taking an additional homeopathic anxiety meds on top of my prescription, and I really think the combination is working.

-          I have been reading like a maniac this month. Two thirds through, I’m on my seventeenth book (well this one is a novella, but I put both on because it balances out the 500-page books too). I did have some relaxing times at the top of the month, but I’ve got things going on at the end where I’ll be out of town by myself for a few days so I expect I’ll have more time to read.

-          Today is my first day back in the office in 10 days. I’ll just leave that here, because I’m knee deep. I’ve got 4.5 days and then I’m out again. Sigh.

-          Drink this, if you are in select cities in Texas, California or Colorado.

Skipping by

So I haven’t been post real posts in a little bit, honestly, because I’m still a little bit of a mess. I wish I wasn’t; I wish I was bouncing back appropriately but it seems like I feel better and Bam! Emeril hits me upside the head and I’m sobbing in a corner. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound like that interesting to read about. I don’t know if I want to look back at this time and remember how down I was, how out of control my anxiety is.

I saw my doctor a few weeks ago, but I was having a good day and I really truly thought I was heading in the right direction. The good direction. I’m going to work on it some more myself to see if I can get myself out of meltdown city, but I know where I am and I know if it’s not working I can call her. I have a plan in place. I’m going to try some herbal supplements that have no known drug interactions, and I’m going to hope that somehow something makes a difference.

I don’t want to remember feeling this way. I want to remember the good things. I think that is why people sometimes make their lives look so good on their blogs, on Instagram, on facebook. Who wants to look back to last weekend and remember not getting out of pjs all day because you could not put that much effort into living? Who wants to think back to yesterday when you accidentally broke something irreplaceable of your kids’ in a hysterical attempt to make sure there were no fire hazards in the house, and then you sat on a foot stool in the middle of your living room and just wept?

Not Me.

So things are not good. All of the above happened, including a huge hysteria where I was sure there was something on fire in my air conditioning and I broke things that can’t be replaced and today where I spent most of the day right on that edge where you can’t stop crying. I didn’t start, which is good because I wouldn’t have stopped.

But some things, some excellent things, have happened. I “ran” a race that was actually a scavenger hunt. I had been looking for a way out of it for weeks because I didn’t train at all, but instead I went with an old friend and a new friend and had a great time.

We went to the Epcot Food and Wine Festival and ate and drank our way around the countries – it was delicious and amazing. Canadian Filet Mignon with mushrooms and a truffle sauce, Italian Prosecco and chocolate cannoli, Brazilian cheese bread and coconut candy, craft beer flights, kimchi hot dogs, perogis, lobster ravioli, fried plantains … I’m sure there was more, but so much. It was lovely. It was a gorgeous day and we all had a good time.

When all is said and done, this is what I want to remember. These happy faces, including mine.