Stairways to nothing

This is half a flight of stairs at work. I've been going up and down them for a week, and I think I'm getting better about not feeling link I'm going to die by the time I get to where I'm going. I'm averaging 8-11 flights a day.

I started out today with a killer headache, and it's gotten better but I'm feeling worse - I think just tired because all I want to do is go home and sleep. I've been working now for a week and I've been so good about getting up on time and making coffee for hubby and me, getting both kids ready for daycare, getting to work on time. Hubby has been really tired lately and I feel responsible for everything including his mood. I know it's ridiculous because he stays awake playing his video game long after I go to sleep so it's obviously not my fault. And I have dinner ready for him every night... Anyhow, I'm feeling worn down and I miss actually enjoying each other's company - I think he's really stressed about this work thing and I'm really stressed about the money thing and between the two of us, we're just a mess.

I think I'm going to stop doing 30 for 30; it's all I post about lately and I don't exactly gave much drive to not wear all the shoes in my closet or anything. I can't shop so theres no danger of that...

Anyhow I'm aware this post is crap and I sound depressed or whatever; I'm not, just tired and cranky. Pay me no mind - 3 hours and I can go home and do nothing for a bit with the kids until it's time to make diner.

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Does anyone else feel like a moron?

I don't take photos of myself. I feel like an idiot.





Top: Kohl's - Simply Vera Wang
Skirt: Koh's - Apt 9
Boots: Avenue

I love this asymmetrical neckline. And I'm in love with my boots - I could wear them every day!

Ambition

Today I forgot to take photos until I was out of my clothes. Except for this one:

These are some of my favorite shoes. Okay, so maybe I won't be able to make the 30 for 30 just because I could easily wear a different pair of shoes every day for two months. And man, I've missed my heels!



Blouse: Loft
Pants: Alex Marie, Dillard's
Shoes: Rampage, DSW

I've been trying to do the stairs at work since I got back to work (4 days). I average about 10 flights of stairs each way every day. It's amazing how it makes me want to do more exercise, even though this weekend my calves were burning from one 5-flight jaunt at lunchtime (in search of a Dr. Pepper, who am I kidding). Tuesdays are my afternoon to myself after work, as the boys go to my in-laws and my husband picks them up on his drive home. Every other day I pick them up from daycare on my way home.

Usually I read or watch tv, or clean or generally mess around on the computer. But Today! Today I changed out of my work clothes, pulled my bike off its peg in the garage, took off the baby seat and inflated the tires and off I went! 10.6 miles in 1 hour 12 minutes (yes, I bike ride at the same rate that many people can jog) and it was exhilarating! And tough, and I thought about calling my husband to pick me up several times but I powered through to home, arriving home just after dark.

Then I cooked a relatively healthy meal.

And I'm sitting here and I wish there was something else I could do -- sit ups? Okay, maybe that's pushing it.

Where's my book?

Pieces of monday

This sweater (dress barn) has no sleeves and no shape, but it's good for when you are bloated and crampy and cranky. I love the color and I'm so glad I didn't opt for the safe sage, instead going for beautiful cranberry. I also love these flats by gianni bini (dillards) and of course, my loft jeans (pair numero dos).

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Weekender

I didn't take pictures of my weekend clothes, but it's a bit embarrassing. Saturday: black bib-style top (Target) and rose-colored shorts (Loft), with my leather Born flip flops. Today I left the same shirt on (and I slept in it (and the shorts) - how low-class, right?) and my Loft jeans and the same flip flops. Clean underwear, at least.

The hubby and I had a serious talk about finances last night and cutting back to not eating out as much (or at all if we can help it). The 3 months of no paycheck for me, coupled with the possibility of no job come January for him as well as that 14k in childcare has me in a nauseous frenzy. The problem is, that puts so much more of a burden on me: more cooking than I already do, more staying home. More coupon cutting, more price checking ... you name it, I'm the one who has to do it.

After we decided that we needed to cut costs (including even suspending Netflix while the season shows are on), the Hubby tells me that he's been invited to MY FAVORITE restaurant with friends from work and his friend is paying for him. Now I'm depressed because I want to go, but I don't really want to go with his friends and I don't want to spend the money but I love that freaking restaurant. It's just not fair - I don't have any friends who plan on paying my way for delicious food and at home I have to make it all myself. I'm going to try not to dwell but damn it.

We have had a nice weekend of doing nothing though. Saturday the boys and I sat outside and played/read/rode tricycles (guess who that was) while my husband did yard work and then played video games for the majority of the afternoon while the boys slept. Today I have Spencer playing out back while we catch up on our shows from last week (CSI, Fringe, Criminal Minds - not toddler-appropriate shows).

Anyhow, we made a list for grocery shopping this morning and still managed to go way over budget so now it's even more important to eat in. For every meal. Which I prepare. Which of course makes me less motivated to make anything at all.

Saturday
breakfast - french toast, bacon and coffee
lunch - chicken nuggets and mac & cheese
dinner - shrimp and tortellini in a cheesy wine sauce

Sunday
Breakfast - muffins and coffee
lunch - hotdogs
dinner - Voila skillet meal and french bread

Confessions

(late - my phone ate my blog post this morning)

-- Here was my second day of work outfit. I didn't realize how dirty this mirror was until I looked at the picture, but whatevs.
Top: Alex Marie, Dillards (I <3 Alex Marie clothes. Especially during a Labor Day/Memorial Day/Independence Day sale when I can afford them)
Jeans: my beloved from the Loft
Shoes: Alex Marie (see?) this is the first time I've had the occasion to wear them, but I'm so glad they aren't too dressy so I should be able to wear them with all kinds of things.
Accessories: rings and that's it. I forgot my earrings.

-- I can't remember the other things that I put in this post, I was so annoyed that my phone wouldn't post.

-- One thing I'm thankful for on when I went back to work is that the BBQ man came on Friday, and I was able to put my order of smoked chicken and yellow rice in on Thursday so I was able to indulge in the deliciousness.

-- I just realized that I'm going to be spending about 14k on daycare next year.

-- I feel nauseous.

-- When I was taking pictures of my outfit in the morning, Spencer insisted that I take a picture of him too.

-- He has been asking for a camera, and I told my in-laws that they could get him one for Christmas. Now I'm jealous because I know that's going to be his very favorite gift.

Starting again

Pictures taken in the bathroom at work.
Top: loft
Pants: charter club, macy's
Shoes: jessica simpson


I've been back to work for 3 hours now, gone through 428 emails (not an exaggeration) and I'd like to go back home now.

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Snaggletooth

I think that mothers of small children are not cut out for 30-for-30 challenges. This is the remnants of yesterday's bloody clothes - which I did actually keep on all day until I changed into yoga pants and a pj top in the evening.


We had a great day yesterday. We bundled up and walked to the Target plaza (2.9 miles round trip) and I let him check out all the animals at Petsmart and all the video games at Best Buy and all the toys at Target before trudging back home at a decent clip (3 miles, 54 minutes and I was pushing 65+ lbs of child flesh and stroller accouterments the whole time).

Then he played out on the back porch while I got things done/watched bad movies/played my video game.

About 5pm he pooped in his pullup and decided to go potty again before getting a new one on. He then fell OFF the toilet while I was in his room grabbing a new pullup and hit his face on the bathtub.

Meet snaggletooth:



There was blood everywhere - it looked like a scene on CSI and I looked like the culprit. Somehow I kept my piece of mind, I put on a new pullup, grabbed his pants and a blanket (cold outside) and threw Henry in his seat and started out for the doctor. We were all shoeless.

However, I called on the way and they couldn't see him, so I had to deviate and get to the after-hours pediatrician. Broken teeth, blood everywhere - my son's beautiful smile. Down. The. Tubes.

Halfway there he wasn't crying anymore but I was, so we went ahead and saw the doctor (which involved me and a nurse holding him down and the doctor putting a tongue depressor between his teeth so he wouldn't get bitten) and he's fine. A bad cut on the inside of his mouth which he won't leave alone so it keeps weeping and is still swollen, and two broken teeth.

This is how he looked 20 minutes after getting home:


This morning we visited the dentist as soon as they opened, and while he wouldn't let the dentist look in his mouth, we discussed that the teeth weren't gray and they don't seem to be hurting him, so it's fine.

Fine.

Anyhow, I did take my picture for today, and I'll hope that I can keep these clothes blood-free.

Top: Old Navy, seriously old (and I'm not sure it'll make it through the 30-for 30, but I needed something quick).

Bottoms: Khaki's Macy's Labor Day clearance sale in September.

Not shown - same Sketchers sneakers as yesterday

Accessories: same black sweater from yesterday, butterfly earrings, rings, and I didn't put a lick of make-up or even dry my hair this morning (I didn't take my shower last night so I woke up with Spencer's blood still between my toes. That obviously needed to be remedied quick). Now that the crisis of the day has been attended to, I'm going to go put at least something on my face before dragging Henry to the doctor because he's on day 5 of this horrible cold and I'm terrified he's going to have an ear infection the moment I go back to work. On Thursday.

Remixing it backward

I thought about not doing 30 for 30, because once I checked my closet (which I felt was woefully understocked) it turns out I have 26 black and gray tops. Plus, I'm going back to work from maternity leave on Thursday, and I don't know what work has in store for me: meetings? trials? The holiday season is always a busy one. Everyone wants money.

Anyhow, so I've decided to do this backward. I don't think I utilize most of what's in my closet, even though I just cleaned it out and tried on every piece, confirming what fit and what didn't. So I've decided to do it backward. I'm going to take a picture of my clothes every day and see if I make it by the end.

Today:
Jeans - I bought these at Loft on clearance plus my credit card discount which made them around $30 from $70, and then I spent another $7 getting them hemmed. I'm so glad I did it because they are great, comfortable and I think they look good on. Original boot cut.

Top: purple top, Loft clearance. I love this color and have a couple other tops in the same color.

Shoes: Sketchers sneakers, DSW clearance. Are we noticing a clearance theme? I rarely buy anything full price.

Accessories: my watch (ahem, going out of business sale at a jewelry store), my wedding rings, Coach ring (birthday present last year?), black sweater (Target, clearance) (because it's freaking cold out there for a Florida early November!) and a flower for my hair.