What we ate last week

It was a hard week for me, as those on twitter can tell, but when I am having a hard time and I’m not able to bury myself in a book, I lose myself in cooking because otherwise I might just be hysterical. Okay, sometimes I’m still a little hysterical. It was a good week for cooking.

 Linguine with Clam sauce

This was amazing, and actually really quick! I started the sautéed items before my aerobics class, and then when I came home I heated it back up, simmered the clams open and cooked up some linguine. Voila! I used chicken broth instead of clam juice because my husband doesn’t like food that’s too fishy and I didn’t know how it would be. I also subbed a couple Tbs Greek yogurt for the heavy cream thinned out a little with pasta water, for a health consideration (next time I wouldn’t thin it out). And whole wheat linguine, because that’s almost always what we use.

No-Butter Butter Chicken

Sarah suggested this recipe, and I meant to make it last week but we had a second “breakfast for dinner” instead, so I moved it to this week. So glad I did! We all really liked it, except Henry who doesn’t like anything. I didn’t use nearly as much chili flakes and it was still kicky, and I used ground cumin instead of cumin seeds, but I was happy I had everything else in my (fairly well stocked) cupboard. Tumeric, Garam Masala. Fresh ginger (in the freezer, skinned and cut in cubes). It was very yummy. Served over brown rice with steamed broccoli.

Grilled Shrimp and Avocado Couscous Salad

So I misread this recipe (also from Sarah) and thought it was for grilled avocado, which I had never heard about but was all for. When I realized what it was, I still decided to go for it, and I added shrimp. I cut my avocado into quarters, brushed w olive oil and seasoned w salt and pepper (same way I did the shrimp), and threw it all on the grill. I got a box of Far East whole wheat couscous and did it w onions like the recipe, but then I made my dressing with lemon juice, olive oil and balsamic vinegar and a touch of ground oregano and salt. Served all over greens and it was fan-freaking-tastic.

Quick Beef Stroganoff

Here’s where I say I barely followed this recipe at all. First of all, whenever I cook very thin steak it’s super tough if cooked more than a minute, so I have a completely different technique (that I learned from the back of some stir fry packet). I get the pan super duper hot. Then I throw the strips of thin steak in. Cook for NO MORE than a minute – the steak should be brown on the edges but still red or pink in the middle. Remove from pan, do all the rest of the cooking. When you’re about a minute from finishing, add in the steak (and juices). I also used more paprika and Greek yogurt for the sour cream, and baby bella mushrooms for the exotics. Half the flour which I actually cooked in a sauce pan with the 1 tbs of butter instead of just mixing because uncooked flour in a recipe is not my best friend, then added the broth to that for thickening before adding to the sauce, along with a little Worcestershire. No additional water. Whole wheat egg noodles. But a good starting point! I think I’ll make it again with a little more salt and Worcestershire. My favorite beef stroganoff recipe previously included three cans of cream of mushroom soup, a tub of full fat sour cream and a bunch of catsup, so I can guarantee this is a healthier recipe (what? That’s the way my mom always made it!)

White Bean Chicken and Poblano Chili

This is one of my very favorite chili recipes. I follow it pretty exact except I’ve been making it so long that I don’t use the recipe so sometimes I stray just because I don’t remember. One point though – there is no note to salt. For the love of God, salt your chicken. Liberally. Otherwise, it’s a perfect recipe. I think I use less chicken (I keep my chicken frozen in two breasts to a bag, so I just grab a bag. Same can be said for any recipe that calls for chicken. I think it’s usually just over a pound). Oh, and “white beans” is vague, but I use cannelloni beans and they make me happy. (I took no photos because I was rushed. Plus I’ve made it so many times I really didn’t feel like I needed a picture. I forgot about this post)

Cod with Tomato Cream Sauce

I had full intentions of following this recipe pretty exactly, but then I realized too late that I gave all my cans of diced tomatoes to the food shelter before Christmas. I had already sent C out to get wine, texted him for tomatoes and he didn’t see it so I wasn’t going to send him out again. I diced up half a pint of yellow grape tomatoes and used that instead of the canned tomatoes, lowered the wine to ½ a cup (because I used so much less tomatoes) and used a couple scoops of Greek yogurt instead of the cream. Served with brown rice and roasted brussel sprouts. It was pretty tasty, but the best thing I can say about this dish is that my children ate all of it. They were rewarded with cookies – I know I shouldn’t, but they eat their dinner so infrequently sometimes I have to.

The ups and downs

So 20.5 days into my no-sweets agenda, I broke down yesterday pretty hardcore. What happened was Saturday I needed a CDP. NEEDED (I’ll explain below). So I opened one that said “Major cheer!” and it was a beautiful scarf and a bag of chocolates (unfortunately I have partial boxes from the last 3-4 exchanges, so I can’t remember who it came from – but THANK YOU!). I stuck the chocolates in the fridge without thinking about it. Sunday my CDP box was a little falling apart so I picked it up to fix and store it back on my side of the bed for easy access, and two partial bags of Russell Stover chocolates fell out (from a CDP I opened months ago).

I ate all the chocolates. Six of them.

Then, later last night I pulled out the chocolates from the fridge and had two more of those with a glass of milk before bed. I know I shouldn’t have, but seriously. That hit the spot.

This morning I was scared to step on the scale, but I was only up by .2 (total weight loss this month of 5.8lbs) so I’m back on the wagon now. I know it will probably take me another three weeks to break myself again, but so far at work I haven’t even thought of the candies at the assistant’s desk (lie, but not MUCH) and I’m headed to trampoline aerobics again tonight. It will be okay.

Things have been very up and down the past few days. Henry has been really quite amazing since my breakdown last week over his behavior. I don’t know if it’s really been the major change that I feel, or if I’m simply recognizing the good behavior instead of focusing on the bad (entirely possible) but I feel lighter about the whole thing. Saturday night he was up a lot and peed his bed but in general it’s been much better.

We found a large leak in our garage Thursday evening, and after investigation it appeared to be from the water heater so C called a plumber out Friday who said yes, the water heater is cracked, and sold us a new one.

You can imagine our surprise Saturday morning when the leak was still there, right? C called them again and they told him the leak must be under the garage slab and we needed to call leak detection people. C instead cut a hole in the garage drywall and found the leak in about a half hour. In the copper pipe that leads TO the water heater, so it was never the water heater at all and we just shelled out $900 for a new one. (Yes, we are pissed. It’s up to C if he’s going to pursue this. It was a 27-year old water heater). His dad came over and they tried to solder the pipe but due to the water they ended up epoxying. $7 later the leak is fixed, and we spent the day at Disney while it was drying and the water was turned off.

We got Henry some new shoes to make him just a touch taller to confirm he could ride the 40” rides, and he got to ride Thunder Mountain for the first time Saturday. BIG. HUGE. He loved it. The whole day was just great – we still never tire of Disney.

Friday night I took Spencer to his school’s skating night. I haven’t been on roller skates in 20 years, and Spencer’s never been on real skates (not the ones that fit over your shoes). It was an adventure. I spent an extra $5 to rent a PVC skating walker so S could really get into the skating and he did great – it was so fun. And I did good too! I only went down on a knee once, when my skate stop bumped too much. I stopped on walls a lot – overall a great time with my oldest boy.

Sunday C wanted to go over to his parent’s house and help them finish setting up surveillance cameras so I was on my own with the kids. We grocery shopped (a complete chore), bought socks and underwear (necessity) and then I packed a picnic lunch and took the boys to the playground to eat and play. Whenever I’m on my own with the kids I like to eschew chores as much as possible and just have a little fun. Fun was had, and then we came home and I mainlined Veronica Mars between cooking dinner and vague parenting.

I’m hoping I can keep up whatever was going well with Henry – is it the attention? Just acknowledging the good? I’m not sure, which means I have no idea if we can keep it up but here’s to hoping. He didn’t wake up through the night last night, and didn’t tell me his underwear was wet and he didn’t know why. So we’re off to a good start.

Seven things

1. I have three boxes of tea at work, and they are all decaffeinated. I was bringing a teabag from home, but this time I dug into them. I’m trying to place the taste – hominy? Yeah, I need new tea. I’m pretty sure these boxes are all from when I was pregnant so maybe I just missed their “best by” time. My mom gave me one of these teabags, and I love it so I need to figure out where I can get it this weekend. Probably the natural food store. 

2. I started this post three times but couldn’t figure out how to do so without being so whiny. It’s been a hard week, parenting wise. I felt like I was losing my mind, and it came to a head Wednesday evening/Thursday morning. But after the sobbing, I really did feel better. I also apologized to Spencer for yelling at him pretty thoroughly about something that was just a misunderstanding between us, because I was upset about something with Henry and he was very gracious about it. It’s nice when you realize your kids can recognize that you’re human. Last night though, was much better. Minimal whining, only a touch of crying before trying his one bite of food. Bedtime was drawn out but not with crying, just with not staying in bed.

3. This morning was also pretty good. We all (except for my husband) woke up spontaneously at 5:30am, but S got himself dressed for school and they played board games until it was time to get moving, and I even left not-rushed for work. Henry accepted that I had to go to work and just opened the garage door for me and went back in easily when I told him it was cold. So the last 16 hours were night and day from the past week or two. I’m going to try to go day to day and remind myself of those good days when we have bad.

4. I *think* I am losing my dependency on sweets. I yearned for a little something last night after dinner, but it didn’t consume my thoughts once I decided I shouldn’t go hunting for something. And my in-laws brought us home a rum cake from their cruise last weekend and I haven’t even cracked the tin. I haven’t had a single piece of candy from my assistant’s desk. I had an almond croissant with a department breakfast yesterday, but that neediness just hasn’t been there. I’m terrified of backsliding right now though, so I’m at that point where I feel like I might never be able to have a piece of chocolate ever again (which makes me want to sob) but I think that will pass too and I might get to a point where I can moderate. It’s been 19 days, so everyone that it said it would take 18-21 days, you were right on the money.  Also, I haven’t felt sick in 19 days, and that is really just amazing.

5. I haven’t cut out pasta or bread completely, although I have switched my family back over completely to whole wheat pasta and brown rice (they don’t really seem to mind). We were always a wheat bread family. I try to keep my portion of those things smaller, and I’ve found I don’t crave them either since I cut the rest out. It’s really the most amazing thing. Amazing.

6. Spencer went to a farm for his first field trip yesterday. I asked him what he learned and he started going on at length (complete with hand gestures) about how to milk a cow. He then told me about roosters and pigs, but when we stopped at the grocery store quick, he told the bagger about how you milk a cow. His homework was to write about the farm and he wrote about how you milk a cow.

Apparently, that was a big deal for him.

7. I’m not sure I have a seven. I have zero plans this weekend. Zero. I’m thinking about taking S roller skating for the PTA skating function. We might head out to Disney. But also, maybe not! I don’t know. I love it. (Oh! And zero sports this weekend, right? Maybe I’ll get to watch the LAST FOUR EPISODES OF WEST WING. I’ve enjoyed it but after 156 one-hour episodes, I’m looking forward to moving on.)

Caught

I have a very clear memory of an event that happened when I was six or so.

We were living with my aunt and her mom, and someone had made a large pan of cinnamon rolls. They were sitting on the stovetop, cooling, and I was the only one in the kitchen. I thought, ‘hey, I want to try just a little icing off the edge. No one will notice.’ And I did. But then I had a little more and a little more, and then I dug into a cinnamon roll. Somehow, there was all of a sudden a clear dent in the corner of the pan (about the size of one roll, actually).

My mom came into the kitchen and yelled at me. ‘did you eat a cinnamon roll????’

‘no! no! I didn’t, I swear! It wasn’t me!’

(I had icing on my mouth and hands)

Clearly, I lied and was caught. But I cried like the world was ending, insisting it wasn’t me.

**

Last night, the boys were supposed to be watching a show in my bedroom. I had left the kids’ tablets on my dresser, but I didn’t really think about it. When the show was almost over, they came to see me about something, I don’t even know what. But then Henry tattled on his brother (which I usually scold about more than the offense). BUBBA HAS THE KINDLE UNDER THE PILLOW!

Spencer, running after me: NO I DON’T NO I DON’T NO I DON’T!

(yes, he did)

He cried hysterically and told me he didn’t do it, and I took away the kindle for the next three days. And then, 20 minutes later when he went to bed I told him that taking the kindle away was for the lying and he said okay. So he gets it. He acknowledges he lied. I don’t see it stopping anytime soon though.

When will he stop?

**

The last time we had a major lying/sneaking issue was also centered on the kindle (growing pains with new electronics, it seems). I allowed Netflix on it because he watches a lot of kid’s shows, and he always watches the same shows all the time so I didn’t think it would be an issue. Then a couple weeks ago I walked past him watching SOMETHING and he hid it. Obviously, I had to look, and he was watching some martial arts movie with guns. And then looking at his viewing history he had also tried to watch some R-rated movie called “Bounty Killers”. BOUNTY KILLERS. What part of that sounds like something you would be allowed to watch? What part of the cover picture looks like something you’d be allowed to watch?

But we talked, and I set his Netflix identity appropriately, and now he’s only allowed to access the kids stuff, unless we talk about it and I approve.

Yesterday he asked to watch Arrow. I’ve never watched it, but I have several adult friends who watch. There are certain things that don’t bother me in movies – language, for one. Spencer has always been really good at identifying words he’s not allowed to say, and actually not saying them. Or if he does, we talk about it being an adult word and I don’t hear it again. Non-bloody violence I don’t really have a problem with. I have boys. They like to fight. Action/fighting/etc doesn’t bother me. I don’t really like guns in movies, but if they are I want the blood to be minimal or offscreen. I do take issue with drugs, especially with children doing them, and sexual situations. Romance is okay, but not sexy time. So I looked up Arrow on this website and it was SO HELPFUL. I’m now looking every single thing up on that website to see what I would approve for my children. Because ratings obviously don’t tell the whole story.

Now can we fix the lying?

Sweet

After hearing my plight about needing to stay away from sugar including all chocolate and candy, our department assistant put out starburst at her desk this morning. This is the hardest place for me to ignore the candies, because it’s right next to the printer so I have to look at it every time I print a letter.

I’m convinced she hates me, and this is passive aggressiveness at its finest (possibly not far off, I’m sure).

I bought Spencer a watch this past weekend for an “early birthday present”. He did not really understand the point of an early birthday present, kept asking ‘what’s an early birthday present? What’s that MEAN?” until finally I was like ‘listen, kid. Is today your birthday? No. Am I getting this for you? Yes.’

Truthfully, I’ve already bought him his birthday presents, but I wanted to get him a new watch. I’ve been looking at them for a while, but all the kid ones have plastic clasps and he’ll break that in a small child’s minute (that’s quicker than a New York minute).  I finally found one that I think may be a woman’s watch, because it’s slender with a small face. But it’s Mickey, not girly, and it’s just black and white. He doesn’t think it’s girly (and he’s unfortunately very attuned to that) and seems to like it so it’s a win. The only bad thing right now is he can’t figure out how to read it, since it’s one of those where Mickey’s hands are the clock hands, and that confuses him. I have confidence – he’ll figure it out.

His other presents are: The box set of Harry Potter movies, Hidden Mickeys, and a US and World map for his bedroom wall. The boys got so many toys for Christmas and I just weeded out so many old things, I didn’t really want to get him any more toys. I know he’ll get some anyhow, but this way it’s just less. I cannot believe that he’ll be six in a few short weeks. Now I have to figure out the whole party situation. I'm thinking we're going to do the same as last year - a breakfast party with bagels and fruit and cheese and coffee at a local playground.

Monkeyball, and other games

This is the first weekday in two weeks that I haven’t had a kale smoothie for breakfast. I didn’t get to the grocery store so I’m out of bananas AND kale (I had just a little left) (also out of eggs, cheese, butter, and pretty much everything else really) so I made myself an egg white scramble (kale and tomatoes, with no cheese, sob). We also finished up the leftover green grits on Saturday so there wasn’t anything even slightly decadent. There’s a piece of Ezekiel bread in it for me (we have butter at work, hallelujah).

 But there’s nothing like digressing before you even start, right? It was a good weekend. I did everything I thought I would do (except laundry) and got two runs in. We went out to Animal Kingdom Sunday and got Henry on Dinosaur, which is 40” height requirement. He’s never been tall enough for any of the “big kid” rides, and I think he liked it, but he also didn’t want to go on it again. There’s a lot of darkness and realistic angry dinosaurs, and general jerkiness – I hope he goes again. It’s so exciting to have a new thing to do with him!

Spencer went on Everest too, which he went on about 6 months ago but then refused to go on it again because it was “too scary” (he went twice! Once with each of us!).

We left in the mid-afternoon because C wanted to watch the 3pm football game, so we had lunch/dinner where we could watch a little. We felt a little weird about just hanging out there for 3 hours (although I was fine, they had excellent sangria) so we went over to Downtown Disney and I took the boys to Disney Quest while C had a beer at a restaurant bar and watched the rest of the game. It really worked out well – the kids weren’t bored (maybe I was, but that’s because I can’t actually PLAY anything while watching the kids bounce between games).

Tonight is trampoline aerobics, which I’m excited for. Last week I couldn’t work out for days (I wasn’t “can’t move” sore, but certainly “don’t plan on using those muscles” sore for three days afterward). My main beef with TrampoLEAN really is that Mondays were my time before. I got a couple hours to sit on the couch and watch my shows that no one else watches, have a glass of wine and not have to deal with anything or anyone else. It was my choice to fill that time with an aerobics class, but it doesn’t mean I don’t miss it.

So instead of wine and tv, tonight I need to a) do my grocery shopping b) start dinner so it’s ready when I get home c) start a load of laundry so I have some pants d) hope I have some yoga capris for class. It’s looking like the bulk of the week is going to have pretty crummy weather so I may as well go all out so I can’t work out for another three days.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Jen has decided to make this a weekly thing, and while I don’t know that I’m in the mind space of anything becoming a weekly thing, I feel like I can at least get into it TODAY.

Yesterday I:

n  Participated in a court thing that I’m a part of for the next six months. I’ve mentioned it on Facebook and twitter, but since I can’t exactly lock down the readership of this (well, I could but won’t) and can’t know exactly who’s reading this, I’ll leave it at that. It’s interesting and I’m glad I’m doing it, but I was supposed to be back at work by noon and didn’t get there until 2:30pm. I leave work at 4pm. And I didn’t get lunch – I stopped at Whole Foods and picked up some soup that I ate at my desk. But I did get to take the kids to school, which I never get to do and I was really kind of excited about it even though neither of them even bother to say goodbye before jumping out of the car (even the daycare one that is so upset every morning about me going to school).

n  Took the kids and an extra kid from after care to Family Reading Night. I feel like maybe I can’t do this every month though, because the two older ones who are the ones supposed to be reading instead run around saying hello to their friends, and since I’m sitting reading to the three year old, I can’t police them the way I might normally. They were so good the first time, but it’s unraveling. Maybe it’s me that’s unraveling.

n  Wanted to run, but it’s so cold right now (I know you in Michigan are cursing my “cold”, but let me tell you – 46 degrees is cold here). I planned on going right when I got home because it was sunny and 54 degrees, but C went into the office for the day and didn’t get home until 6pm, at which time it was dark and colder and I had to leave to take the kids to reading night.

n  Skipped my meal plan dinner to have breakfast for dinner for the second night in a row. I made these grits on a whim, and they were so delicious I heated some up and dropped a poached egg on top for dinner. Effing fantastic. I skimped on the cheese and used skim milk – I bet they’re even more decadent with the recipe as written.

(don't judge a grit by its picture - I have poor lighting in my house, and the filters don't do it justice)

n  Was so exhausted I fell asleep on the couch last night and my husband had to lead me to bed at 10:30p when he went in. I think it was about 9:15p, but I was out. I don’t actually remember going to bed.

Today I:

n  Am so very happy it’s Friday. I’m just so tired lately, and I get enough sleep but TIRED. I just want to get up when I want to get up, even though that’s not any later than 6:30 really, and get dressed when I want to get dressed and don’t have to fight with the littlest one over going to daycare and me leaving for work.

n  Had to listen to/comfort a heartbroken child because I had to get ready for work. “Don’t Leeeeeeaavvvee” while choking sobs. Seriously kid. Yesterday (okay this should be in a bullet point above) I went to get the mail and he flipped out because I left and came in through the front door and he looked for me from the garage door and couldn’t find me. He was inconsolable. I don’t know what to do. Phase, right? Phase. Anyhow, today was more of the same, meltdowns over going to daycare, over me leaving for work. It’s exhausting (oh, there’s the reason I’m tired! Lightbulb!)

n  Really want to go for a run after work. Really.

n  Am doing the usual Friday night for the kids – movie night, popcorn and fruit and yogurt (maybe a grilled cheese) for dinner. I’m making thai ginger soup for C and I, which I’m pretty excited about (recommended by one of my fabulous twitter friends) and I plan on curling up with a book and ignoring the world for just a little while.

Tomorrow I:

n  Will probably have more green grits with breakfast – not gonna lie. Maybe blueberry pancakes for the kiddos. I’m not a big pancake fan, or waffles, or breakfast pastries. I’m much more for savory breakfast – eggs, meat, toast. This is my happy place.

n  Have a birthday party to take the kids to - a dual party for my friend’s six year old and one year old. I got the younger a Hallie the Hippo stuffed animal and a board book (Chica Chica Boom Boom), and the older a Boulder toy (Rescuebots) and a Where’s Waldo travel book. I’m pretty happy with the choices, and that I bought them on Amazon and didn’t have to last-minute Target shop the morning of the party. Spencer has grown up with the six year old (birthdays are 3 weeks apart, so they’ve known each other pretty much their whole lives) and even though they don’t live close, it’s a huge exciting deal when he gets to see Nathan. It’s adorable.

n  Need to do some laundry and some overall house cleaning (this seems to be an ongoing Saturday morning thing) but otherwise I’m hoping for it to be a pretty laidback day.

n  Wanted very much to go out with a friend for birthday drinks, but I put off finding a babysitter and now I don’t think I can really find a babysitter. Or I could, but I feel bad asking short notice and and and and and … well, I’m just not a good friend all the time. OH CRAP. And as I was typing this I realized the get together is TONIGHT and so yeah. I’m a terrible friend.