Monday, October 2, 2017

Currently ... Happy October!

I’m wanting to keep up with my blogging, but I’m not sure what to type out, so I’m going to go a la Stephany and answer these fun questions. October! It’s October!



Loving … My new boots, which I bought off a friend and they are excellent. It’s still 90 degrees here in Florida, but it feels like the arctic at work so I can easily wear wool-lined Uggs and be October-y.

Loathing … I was pretty sick at the end of last week and I’m still not 100%.


Reading … Oooh, this is a fun one for me right now. I’m listening to the Unearthly series (I just finished the second, Hallowed, and I’ll start the third, Boundless, today). I’m also reading the fifth in the Throne of Glass series (Empire of Storms) and holy goodness, I adore that series.



Watching … The Originals. So the reason I started watching was because Jason Dohring (Logan in Veronica Mars) is in the second or third season and I wanted to see him in a different series, but then of course I wanted to watch the show from the beginning. I’ve been binging television one day a week (we know how notoriously bad I am at watching tv) so this is my binge show. I really really like it, and I haven’t even gotten to the season with Jason Dohring!

Anticipating … cooler temperatures. I can’t anticipate EXTREMELY cooler temps, but anything less than 89 degrees would be welcome. Perhaps a slight breeze?

Thinking about … The violent shooting in Vegas, my dreams last night, all the work I have on my plate, my three brain-related doctor appointments this week. How much I want the really bad-for-me breakfast that work is supplying today that I’m not eating. Life is a lot right now.



Needing … a break. I didn’t do much at the end of last week because I was so sick, but it wasn’t a break. I need a vacation from everything. I’ll go with another cup of coffee instead.

Monday, September 25, 2017

What We're Eating This Week - keto central

I don’t know if I have mentioned it here (probably not based on the amount of posts in the last 6 weeks), but we’re eating keto these days. It’s not as hard as I thought it would be; I’m not craving pasta or bread, although I am craving chocolate, it’s mostly manageable. It does make things interesting for meal planning because I seem to be more labor intensive trying to make appealing meals we will all eat. We also have started eating family style and seriously, it’s been the best for getting my kids to eat real food (okay, mostly). I can just put out an extra thing for them that’s not keto also, instead of short-ordering it.

Here’s this week, what the meal is and if there’s any changes for the kids, who are not eating keto:

Sunday: taco lettuce wraps (kids also had tortillas) This worked well because I just put out a few tortillas for the kids. H opted for a lettuce wrap WRAPPED by a tortilla, which tickled me. S wasn’t feeling well and just ate a plain tortilla. I didn’t feel like fighting.

Monday: pork ragu over almond “polenta”. I’m interested to see how this polenta recipe works out. The kids don’t like the texture of spaghetti squash and don’t like the taste of zucchini, so I was at a loss over what to make under the meat sauce. I’ll probably also make a small amount of pasta for them to mix in if they want.

Tuesday: kale mozzarella burgers and asparagus


 Wednesday: grilled chicken salads

Thursday: carnitas (leftover pork) and sautéed spinach (and fruit for kids)

Friday: leftover deli meats and cheeses (and crackers for kids), keto rangoons (thanks, Candy!)

(picture and recipe from Candy)



Saturday is baseball day, so we will probably go out to eat for a late lunch/early dinner after the games. That’s what we did this last week and it worked out well.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Bookery: An Update

August was a hard month for me, anxiety wise. I’m working more on it; I’ve added acupuncture, chiropractic and massage to my ever-growing list of attempts to relieve my issues, but in the meantime reading as an escape has always been my number one way to fight when life gets hard.

Maybe it’s not a surprise then that I read 20 books in August. Well, 19 if you count 2 halves of the two books I’m currently engaged in, but since I’m deep into them I count them for August because I won’t count them for September.

Here’s the breakdown:
12 ebook
8 audio

19 from the library
1 Audible

18 new
2 reread (the 2nd and 3rd of the Throne of Glass series)

19 fiction
1 memoir

I can’t count hours of audiobooks because on Overdrive they don’t show me the full amount of hours; it’s broken down by parts. Therefore I count pages for audio just like I do paper or ebooks.

6656 pages.

Goodreads star rating:
2 star – 2
3 star – 5
4 star – 9
5 star – 4

I hate the star rating – I wish so much that there were half stars.


Favorite books:

(reread)

(new)

(New)

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Day in the Life

I randomly decided to brush off the dust here by doing a Day in the Life post, so if you weren’t bored by the lack of content, you can be bored by my day! No, but really. I think it’ll be an interesting day but first you have to get through six hours of me staring at a computer screen. I apologize in advance.

5:30am My alarm goes off. SO TIRED so eff that. I hit snooze twice.

5:48am okay, okay! I’m up! Plus, Louie needs to pee and he’s all snorty up in my grill telling me so, so I’m up and walking the dog. No picture because it’s too dark (and also because I didn’t think of doing this until an hour later)

6:20am I am done and ready to go to work and I’ve already cleaned the poo off the floor an inch from the puppy pad and everything, so it’s time to leave! Yesterday I was many hours early for work. Today I will be … on time.

6:30am But first, Starbucks! Okay, they totally got me with their “buy these three things and get 100 extra stars” because two of them were things I already buy occasionally anyhow. Today is the third: ANY LATTE! (I chose cascara) and for extra oomph, I got the bacon sous vide bites. Remind me of this when I complain to my doctor today about my weight gain on my new meds.

7:00am At work! And working! So riveting. Here’s my coffee.



7:20am First things first (after deleting all the Living Social emails) is to deal with the 23 emails in my inbox that I haven’t dealt with. This requires listening to Leap Year for the millionth time.



8:00am Time to take my meds! I have an alarm at 8am, and a follow up one at 11am just in case. I missed both alarms one day last week and it was a bad time. I don’t recommend it (Keeping it real over here)



8:15am “Hang” is a verb. It’s not a sandwich.

9:00am Still working on those emails. We can pretty much all agree that emails are the devil right? I know some people in politics would agree.

9:30am I have three left but I can’t anymore with the emails. One is something I’m waiting for information on and the other two are very in depth. I’ll tackle them later today, hopefully.

Instead! I will work on writing a letter for work. Bah.

10:30am Where did that last hour go? At least I’ve been productive. C texted me my daily Louie picture.



11:00am So I wasn’t going to go to this meeting until I found out it was for credit, but it was one hour and then got in there and it was TWO HOURS straight through lunch and no one brought us food. Not cool.

1:15p I make a beeline to Jimmy John’s



1:25pm Back at my desk, a #12 no mayo combo spread out on my desk and doing email. Again. Some day I’ll get to something else.



2:20pm Some days I feel like a hamster in a treadmill. Here’s a gratuitous shot of my keyboard.



2:45pm I’m out! I have appointments this afternoon so I had to leave early. I never got to anything except emails – how sad is that?

2:50pm Listening to podcasts … I don’t know how not everyone is listening to Ask Me Another – it’s the actual best.



3:30pm my psychiatrist is running late. Sigh. Nervous because we have things to talk about.



5:00pm MY TATTOO APPOINTMENT!!!!!!!!


6:30pm tattoo completed and I’ve texted a picture of it to everyone I know.



7:30pm There’s a new noodle place near my house that I figured we could try rather than me cooking. It was delightful and I want to go back to try everything on the menu.



8:00pm Making lunches for the kids for tomorrow’s camp because I didn’t do all of them on Sunday. Be like normal me: make all the lunches on Sunday so you don’t have to do this every day.



8:10pm there is laundry I should be folding but instead I’m snuggling with my pup, my wine and my book.



9:00pm retire to the bedroom, again with the pup, wine, book and now added husband!

10:15pm my strict bedtime is 10:00 but somehow I’ve been stretching that lately. Lights out at 10:15 and I was asleep almost immediately.

So there was my day! It wasn’t typical; usually I work till 3:45 and go pick up the kids from camp and go home and clean or cook or something, but it was a little different and hey! Maybe more interesting. Or maybe you’re sleeping through this. Meh.


Happy whatever day today is!

Thursday, July 13, 2017

The future is now! In so many ways!

I’ve been getting myself to work heinously early for the past couple weeks and thought hey! I should write a blog post!

Things are good here. I’m on a crapload of meds that keep my mood stable and elevated. I laugh more, enjoy time with my family more. We grabbed an Echo for Prime Day and last night we had an Alexa dance party while playing Wii Frolf. Family time is good. I don’t get quite so short tempered; I laugh more. Oh hey, I already said that! Still true.

Science is wonderful.

Today I placed my first order for Publix delivery and if this works out, it makes me beyond happy. The prices on some things are slightly higher but not outrageous, and it gets delivered to my husband while I’m still at work – I have to do nothing except input the order! I’m so excited.

The future is now, people.

Another way the future is now is that two weeks ago, this sweet face became part of our family.

  


My husband has maintained that we couldn’t get a dog until we moved, but for various reasons we keep putting off getting our house in selling condition and hiring a realtor to buy a new house. I finally decided to push back on getting a puppy and I’m so so so glad I did. This is Louie, and he’s just the best puppy that ever puppied. We’re all over the moon about him. You can follow him at Louie_the_dox on IG!

Friday, June 2, 2017

Sum Sum Summertime

How does one balance kids should be able to be kids over the summer and not have every minute of their lives structured and kids shouldn’t sit on their butts for three months and expect to be ready for the next grade? It seems the ongoing conundrum.

So this is how we’re doing it, right or wrong:

(this picture will not turn correctly)

Each of us has a journal, and I’m doing it too. It’s a struggle for Henry, as he has difficulty coming up with WHAT to write, but I’m hoping that keeping it going will be good for him. For the most part, it’s one page a day (they are small books) but for H we started with five sentences, and we’ll get longer for him through the summer. I’m trying to teach him details. “I went to camp today.” Okay, so what did you do at camp? Who did you play with? What happened during [whatever activity]? Write like you’re telling us what happened today.



For Spencer, it’s just that he needs to be reminded to write but he is fine with the full page (last night he cried because he needed to go to bed but wasn’t done writing; he was on his second page). I’ve told them I’ll read them if they want me to, but if they don’t want me to then I’ll just check for length and handwriting.



The other thing I decided on a whim was to order bridge activity books for each grade level. We got these and they do one page a day, which usually has a reading comprehension exercise and some math. The exercises are a little different than they’re used to so both needed me to explain their first page, but there was little huffing from them about doing it.



Finally, reading. They love to read so this isn’t a chore, but I just make them read something of substance for 30 minutes of the day. Any other time they can keep reading said substantial book or they can read Foxtrot or Dogman or Wimpy Kid, but they need to read something with more words than pictures for 30 minutes. This is just an extension of school-year rules, so no complaints about this.


And that’s it! So much is going on, these are little things I think are manageable for the summer to keep them engaged while still having time to do all the things they want to do.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Mental Load and a Day in the life

This comic has been making the rounds on facebook and has started a lot of conversations that I have been a part of. I like it. I don't think it's fully representative of every couple's lives, and obviously every family is different, but I do think the general idea is correct the grand majority of the time.


Here's how it's NOT representative of my family's life: If I were to "ruin" something because I was doing too much, my husband would not say "What did you do? What did you ruin?" He would jump up and say "What happened? Are you okay?" and try to help fix it.

Here's another way it's not representative of my family's life: I have a partner, and my partner is helpful. When I get home from grocery shopping, he usually (unless he's in the middle of something for work or doesn't hear me come in) unloads the groceries with me, and takes everything out of the bags.

But here's how it is representative:

I go to the grocery store once a week. There are things I get weekly, like jelly and eggs and salsa, even though I don't eat jelly or salsa, I know that C goes through a lot of it and it's almost always empty. I go through a lot of eggs, so I just pick them up. Before I go, I ask "is there anything you know we need?" and 99% of the time, he says no.

The next day I find out we're out of chicken nuggets. And butter. And bread. And Capri Sun. And milk. I rarely if ever use these items so I don't know when we're out. We don't go through them weekly so I don't just get them. Now I have a second trip to the grocery - yes, he could go but he doesn't and I generally like the grocery shopping and I do all the cooking and like certain brands etc so it's on me. Also, I work outside the home and C works at home so it makes more sense for me to include the trip on my way home. And that's fine ONCE A WEEK.

Here was my day yesterday, which I think gives a good representation of real life occurrences:

I had a meeting out of town, so I left home at regular time. I do not do morning kid school readying, that is all my husband. I usually make school lunches for the week on Sunday to help him out, but I didn't Sunday bc we were out doing fun stuff, so he had a little more than usual but I still didn't help. I got myself ready (after he woke me up because that is our dynamic. I can't hear a morning alarm ever).

I drove 2 hours to work. I worked. I drove two hours back.

My mom needed to give me something, so I went to her work to retrieve that and talked to her for a few minutes.

I went to the grocery store. While I was there, I texted my husband (working from home) if there was anything we needed while I was there. He said no. I did remember chicken nuggets because we were out last time I tried to feed the kids chicken nuggets.

I came home and we unloaded the car together, and put away all the food. I took out shrimp to defrost for dinner that night. He had a load of kid laundry running (!!!) so I got our joint dirty laundry out of the bathroom and added all dirty laundry languishing on our floor or my dresser (I fully admit this is also a joint problem) and put it in the hallway on the way to the garage door, so when it was time to change out the laundry, our load could be put in.



Then I started a hardboiling eggs while listening to a podcast.

While my eggs were cooking, C and I had a conversation about the tent he ordered and the boxes that it came in, and we thought it was funny that Francine camped out in one of the boxes. He picked up the first empty box to put in the recycling and then set it down again on the fireplace to discuss the cat. There it stayed.

 

He then got all the baseball stuff together for the kids (They aren't home on Mondays so this falls to us completely) and took the laundry out of the dryer (that I washed on Saturday) and put the load he did in the dryer. He then walked past our hamper no less than five times. I could have said something about that hamper of clothes. Maybe I should have. I'm not fuming about it but I just DON'T UNDERSTAND. It's your own hamper. You know why it's there. It's certainly not clean clothes.

He left the house about 5:20pm, to pick up one of Spencer's teammates and meet at the field. When he left, I was looking up new sports glasses for S because he sat on his (sigh). While he was on the way to the field I texted him and asked him to put his own glasses on S so we could see how that width looked on him, because I was having trouble visualizing it and knew the size those glasses were. I know he saw the text because he responded to another part of the same text. But I didn't get a response.

While everyone was gone, I started a load of laundry. Then I started to make lunches for the kids for the rest of the week so it's easier on morning routine. I couldn't find all the plastics we use for the lunches bc the tops were shoved up with the leftovers tupperware, and that cupboard was overflowing. C had complained a couple days ago that we had too much tupperware and it was falling on his head. So I stopped making lunches to reorganize the plastics so they were properly stowed. Back to lunches. However, C had finished both the bread and the lunch meat and didn't take any out of the freezer so I couldn't finish that task because I had to do it. I stripped our bed and started another load of laundry.

By this time, I was thoroughly annoyed so I went for my evening run. It was awesome. I went 5.75 miles, I ran more than I walked and overall, it was an excellent run. I was in a better mood when I got home.

Back home. Put that last load of laundry in the dryer, BSd on the internet a bit (mostly responded several times related to this comic) and scrolled through instagram. Started dinner (shrimp and mac and cheese for the kids, shrimp on salads for me and C). C texted at 8:40pm with a picture of Spencer in his glasses (too big, good thing I didn't order) and that they were on their way home from baseball practice.



I had just finished making dinner. Made sure the bathrooms were ready for kids to shower and plated dinner.

C got the kids showered in respective bathrooms (this is mostly them with us barking at them to get moving because they dawdle getting undressed and spend most of the shower singing and dancing or practicing their baseball in the shower.) Then we all sat down to eat (about 9pm). I'm the last to sit and first to finish, as is my way. I half-cleaned the kitchen while I was plating dinner, but C finished the kitchen cleaning and the kids put their own dishes in the dishwasher (after "gentle" reminders), get 10 minutes to watch the baseball game on tv and then head to bed. This is an hour past their bedtime but I've started being resigned to the way things are on baseball practice nights. I make salads for myself for lunches and then reclean the kitchen afterward.

All the laundry is finally finished, so I sort through and make a pile of C's clothes, leave all the kids' clothes on the chair, and fold and hang my own stuff. Usually I'll either a) fold all of it and make the kids put their own away or b) fold mine and C's and make the kids do their own. While I do this, C made himself a bowl of cereal and sits next to the laundry to eat. This time I've decided I'm only doing what's important to me, which is my own clothing folded and hung and I matched all the socks for the kids and myself. I am a rare person that feels real satisfaction by matching socks and REALLY hates unmatched socks in a drawer, which is what will happen if left. I pick up the dry sheets and take them to the bedroom to make our bed, and C follows (without me asking) and helps remake the bed while complaining that we have too many pillows (they're all his, I use one pillow).

By this time it's after 10, so I take a shower and get ready for bed and mess around a little more on the internet. I meant to do some work but in my haste to get to my mom I left my work laptop in the work car, so now I have more to do the next day. I am getting really frustrated by the men on the internet who are telling us THIS IS NOT HOW THINGS ARE MAYBE IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU SET THE EXPECTATIONS. A good male friend who is single and childless inadvertently puts me on edge (probably both our faults). C fell asleep watching the baseball game and mid-argument (seriously, it wasn't a ruse), I realized I never ordered Spencer's sports glasses (now 11pm) so I go back to doing that.

By 11:45pm I'm in bed with a book but I can't concentrate on it and go over what needs to be done for work (that stuff I meant to do today plus tomorrow's stuff, and when is my next out of town meeting? Wednesday. It's Wednesday) and remind myself that there's baseball practice tomorrow again and what I'll be making for dinner - did I put that meat in the fridge to thaw? And this is the last week of school, is there anything I'm forgetting there? I didn't read and now I'm on edge so I take my nighttime anti-depressant and an added sleep aid, abandon my book and wait for drowsiness to hit me so I can get up tomorrow and get back to it.

***
It's not that I don't want help. I don't NEED help, but obviously I overwork myself and I have to force myself to take time for myself (hello running!) but here's the thing: in order to get help, I would need to list out every detail of what is needed to run our lives smoothly, and add to it every time something pops into my head that we need and then I'd need to outline exactly how things need to be done, and exactly when they need to be done. I need to be able to let go of my personal arbitrary timelines that don't matter or my personal way of doing things which is easier said than done AND I realize is my problem and not my family's. I'm coming around to doing this with the kids but I have a hard time with what I feel is training/teaching my husband to be an adult because I'm not his parent. I don't want to say "okay everyone is ready and we should go to Target" and him say "okay, we'll go in twenty minutes WE'RE READY NOW WHY CAN'T WE GO NOW WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH JUST DOING SOMETHING INSTEAD OF PLANNING TO DO IT WHEN YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING IN THE SPACE OF TIME THAT YOU'VE PUT IT OFF?

Here's a final example which I don't know if it highlights the difference between men and women in general or just me and my husband, but whatever. I say: We need to do the laundry on Saturday. If I'm the one doing it, I start a load during breakfast. In an hour, I change it out and start another load. I search through the rooms and make sure I've gotten every stray sock and every pair of gym shorts. In another hour, I cycle another load. I keep doing this until all of them are done. Then I fold it all. I don't always hang the couple of hanging items because I HATE to hang, but I move them to my dresser until I can't stand it anymore and anyhow, they are out of the living room. I'm not claiming I do laundry perfectly. I match all the socks and put the singles in the single bin (yes, I have a bin).

If he's the one doing it, he thinks "okay, I should have the laundry done by bedtime." He goes about his day, and around 3:30 he starts a load. Around 5 he starts another load. If it wasn't put in the hamper (this includes the clothes he discards next to his side of the bed), it doesn't get washed. It all gets dumped on the living room chair. He hates to fold, so it sits there for a couple days until he has the kids fold their laundry and leaves the rest until I get to it. Occasionally he folds our laundry and hangs his own.

Obviously, the answer is somewhere between our systems. But I don't know how to reconcile it and I don't know how to get things out of my head and into the general pot of things that need to be done. And I've written way too many words on this subject and there are things that need doing.