On listening issues, remembering, and not being a jerk

There was a conversation around twitter last week/earlier this week about not raising a jerk. I thought about this a lot last night while my son was screaming like the world was ending while in time out for telling me his rice tasted like pee. This was the latest issue in a trying evening, What do you do?

It started out when I picked him up from aftercare and his white school polo was orange. ORANGE. He had ravioli when he got there and I do not know how he possibly could have spilled that much on his shirt but the whole thing was orange – I should have taken a picture before I doused it in Oxyclean. There was even a spot on his back.

But I didn’t make a big deal about it, I just made him change when we got home, and decided that he would be changing his clothes at after care from now on. Then I asked him what he did at school. Over the summer at VPK he was having trouble remembering what he did, so we started by telling me what he ate for breakfast and lunch, and two things he did. Every day. By the end of the summer he could actually remember what he ate, so it felt like a win (although I was aghast at what passes for breakfast – protein bar and juice for a five year old?). I’ve kept it up in kindergarten and even though he eats a little something at home he still eats something there too (yesterday: Danimals yogurt, French toast, juice, white milk) and I ask him to tell me what he had for breakfast and lunch (lunch is easier to monitor if he’s telling me the truth because I PACK IT) and two things he did. When we were talking about lunch he told me he didn’t drink his Capri Sun but he threw it away. I tried to tell him that in the future, if he doesn’t eat or drink something I pack for him, he should bring it back home with him. This started World War XIII, because he couldn’t seem to listen to that small instruction. Instead he was bouncing on one foot, twirling in circles, fidgeting with his socks. I know that some kids think better when they fidget – Not My Kid. When he’s fidgeting, he’s only thinking about the fidget and can’t concentrate on “bring your capri sun home”. This spawned a half hour of screaming about listening and him screaming because Time Out is a death sentence, apparently. It was bad.

So the outcome is that I will say something. He will repeat it. Ad nauseum. It will get old quick, but I’m hoping that like the breakfast/lunch reciting, it will actually keep things in his head. For a child that remembers everything always, concerning actual knowledge, you’d think that “things that would keep me out of trouble” would rate high on the remembering scale. You’d be wrong.

And then we sat down for dinner and he told me his rice tasted like pee. Any suggestions on how not to raise a jerk?

Of radios and weekends

This weekend may have been the first in forever that actually felt long. Not in a bad way or anything either, but when I got up (late) for work this morning I felt like I hadn’t been to work in a really long time instead of the usual and customary two days. Maybe next week’s three-day weekend will feel like a windfall of time and opportunity.

Part of it was that I was semi-lone wolfing. C finally bit the bullet and bought all the parts for his nav system for his car, which he thought would be an easy install but ended up taking most of the weekend. He worked on it into the night on Friday, all of Saturday morning and then a good part of Sunday afternoon. It appears that all is finally working though; he’s got a couple small kinks to work out but nothing serious. In the meantime I did movie night with the kids by myself on Friday (and had planned on doing wine and cheese w/ C but with his radio issue all I did was get myself drunk). Saturday I took the kids to the local splash pad for a couple hours so I wouldn’t be breathing down his neck.

And then we went to Epcot for 8 hours or so. Epcot is so laid back – all the rides except two are less than a 10 minute wait. Yeah, they’re kind of crap but so what? The kids don’t care. The only snag was that I made food for the kids but we kind of wanted a real sit-down meal and all the restaurants were reservation-only which really put my husband in a bad mood (more than the radio already had). But we all got over it and still had a good time. I finally went on Soarin’ and it was pretty neat (although not worth 75 minutes in line) and C took Spencer on Test Track which is his favorite while Henry and I wandered around the countries admiring the t-shirts I didn’t buy because I rarely wear t-shirts (although I’m pretty sure I’m going to buy the one on the left anyhow).

On the drive home I calculated that in the last 25 weekends, we've spent approximately 230 hours at the various Disney parks. We've skipped two weekends, and we spend 8-12 hours every weekend we go. It's about 2.5 hours round trip driving, so we've spent 57.5 hours in the car.

Sunday I mowed the lawn because C had planned on doing the yard work while the kids and I were at a birthday party but with his radio still not working I decided to take the hard decision away on want vs needs for home maintenance. I took the kids to a friend’s kids’ birthday party, and we did the grocery shopping on the way home. I’m pretty sure they read my blog post on how to shop with your kids because they were ROTTEN, Spencer more than Henry. I ended up spending too much and not getting everything I need because I just needed to GET OUT. And then we got home and Henry had some major digestional issues which made me feel bad about ignoring his tummyache complaints (dude, he complains of a tummyache when he wants a donut. You see why I ignored it).

So it wasn’t all rainbows and flowers, but somehow we got through the whole weekend feeling pretty good about it all. Then Spencer flipped out this morning about the beltI bought him (“it’s GIRLY!” cue 20 minute meltdown) and I ran screaming from the house.

BBTW: Hobbies

I almost didn’t write this post, because it seems trite to me to say my hobby is reading. It’s like saying I like long walks on the beach and the smell of freshly cut grass. (And I don’t really like long walks on the beach because I’m not fond of sand, but give me freshly cut grass any day, especially if I didn’t have to cut it.)

But reading is my main hobby. I pick up a book at stop lights and on lunch breaks. I try for a couple pages while we road trip places, between refereeing children and conversations with my husband. I read while watching baseball games 7 months of the year. I read – it’s what I do.

(me, circa 1994. I think that's a book of horror short stories)

It’s also what I’ve always done. I remember when I was young, punishment didn’t really work. Grounding me from seeing my friends or watching television or talking on the phone – none of that really truly mattered to me. When my mom wanted to get my attention, she had to ground me from my one true love, books. I remember getting into Harlequins at around 12, because I consumed so many books that I could at least buy those for 6 for $1 at yard sales. As an adult I live on library books and free books, as well as still the occasional yard sale pick up. I’m on track to read about 100 books this year, which is on par with my usual years (not including re-reads)

I have favorites that I own; all the Pat Conroy books, Frank Norris’ McTeague, and a few odds and ends. I used to be a book hoarder but a few months ago I had a big purge and now I have a pile of books to gift and a small bookcase of things I couldn’t give up. The rest of my reading is done these days on my iPad or from borrowed books. Because I’d go broke if I bought all my books. I’d go broke if I bought all my favorite books. I just love to read.

Bring back the words is the brainchild of Ginger. Come! Participate!

Friday bits

Spencer’s first week of school was not without drama, but it went pretty well. On day two, he wet himself. It was as he was leaving the school, he was in the walker line and didn’t think he could get out of it to go. So when the daycare lady went to pick him up he was in the office in his wet clothes, and complaining that his left side hurt. This, of course, put me on alarm because I was thinking kidney/bladder/etc infection, but once I picked him up it was apparent that the side things was either a bruise (it was at his hip) or imaginary because he was upset about wetting his clothes, because it hasn’t warranted more than a passing mention, and mostly when he didn’t want to do something. He also told me he wanted to be a dentist when he grows up, which I’m hoping is him taking charge of his phobias because I have never seen a child so hysterical around doctors and dentists than him.

The schedule change has been a bit of a rude awakening. I make lunches every night (never did so in daycare). We’ve starting making sure we read for 15 minutes every night – either S reading to me, or me reading to him. I’m reading them Peter Pan – which oddly, is not exactly like the Disney movie. I know that MOST books are not like their movie counterparts, of course, but I didn’t think that Peter Pan… I don’t know, maybe I thought the Disney movie came first? Anyhow, we’re just getting to when Peter Pan shows up but I’m a little surprised. The kids like it though. Baths are more frequent in this world of kindergarten too – we were at about 1-2 a week and now we definitely need it every other day.

Tonight is exciting for me; I’m reinstating movie night. We were on hiatus because the boys have been going to their grandparent’s house on Fridays and Henry falls asleep on the drive home. But this week my inlaws are in Colorado so they will come home and sit on their floor pillows and eat fruit and popcorn for dinner while watching a movie (Disney Robin Hood, tonight). I’m still working it out on how it will go: pick up the kids, make my usual trip to target, early bath, reading time, homework time and then movie. Maybe. We’ll figure it out. I know I get to read and have a glass of wine tonight.

I’m assuming we are heading to Disney tomorrow – I want to hit a water park. Just when you think the novelty of every weekend Disney trips are wearing off, someone tries to schedule two birthday parties in the same weekend and everyone gets a little concerned – but when will we get to Disney?? But one of the birthday parties was rescheduled for next weekend, so all is right with the world.

Three years old has been delightful for Henry, except that he has decided to cease sleeping. Two nights ago he was, without exaggeration, up all night. I took on about half the night and C took on the other half and it was a rough, rough night. I know that newborn mothers have it rough with the lack of sleep, but sometimes I think it’s harder when you know what real sleep is because they have been sleeping through the night for so long, and then suddenly they AREN’T. Then you get a bit ragey. Last night he slept but both kids decided to wake up for the day at 4:30am and play in their room. They were not happy when told they had to go back to bed.

Henry also still has meltdowns when he doesn’t get his way, but it seems easier to talk him through them or let him tantrum in his room until he’s ready to join civilization, so hopefully that phase is winding down. (Although Spencer still has these moments at least once a day)

I had the best lunch yesterday. A friend of a friend opened an Asian grill, and it’s too far from work to go for lunch but they offered if we could get enough people in, they would deliver. I had grilled pork banh mi (kind of like a teriyaki pork sandwich) with a fried egg on it, a shrimp spring roll, and honeydew melon boba. Today I’m wondering if I drove over there, bought lunch and drove back if I could make it on my lunch break. Or if I could drag my family there for lunch before a birthday party on Sunday.

I need book suggestions for a seven year old girl who reads at a fifth grade reading level. Someone give me something good, will you? I’m lost.

I don’t think I have anything more to report. Isn’t that lovely? The thing about blogging more regularly is I don’t have so much to through into these hodgepodge posts that are mostly about the kids anyhow.

I swear I'm not nesting. I swear.

Over the past couple weeks I’ve finally been driven to organize some areas of the house that have been well and truly bugging me. First was the pantry. Then I cleaned under my bathroom sink and got rid of two grocery bags full of crap and organized, as well as my side of the sink. My growing makeup collection was making things hard to deal with, and my side was always so messy that I couldn’t reasonably complain to C that he needed to clean his beard hairs out/off of the sink – it’s not like anything was CLEAN or anything. After some deliberation I bought a cute lace bowl from Target for my make up – it’s bigger than what I previously had, and with the open top I’m more likely to throw everything in there and keep it off the counter. I’ll likely upgrade to a caboodle-type contraption but this is good for now. (Now, Husband, clean up that beard trimming!)

Sunday morning while cupcakes were cooking I cleaned out my spice/baking cupboard. I know it doesn’t look a ton cleaner but I couldn’t even turn the lazy susan with the spices on it, and now there’s not a ton of junk in there – I know what is there and where it is. All my baking stuff is in gallon bags up top, which still looks messy but I don’t bake enough to want canisters and this way it stays relatively fresh.

Monday night I cleaned up my side of the closet (again). I have a habit of cleaning my shoes up all nice and neat, and then every time I wear a pair of shoes I throw them inside the doors until they look like this:

And then I spend a half hour cleaning up so they can look like this:

And then there’s the linen closet. Where do people PUT all this stuff? I don’t even have more than one extra set of bed sheets for the twin bunks (1 extra, 2 bunks. They better not both get sick) and two extra sets for our bed. Add one set for the futon and the towels and … goodness, there’s a lot of stuff to be dealt with. There was actually a box down there from the spare bedroom at our old house seven years ago. Finally, finally I can consider myself fully unpacked.

(found in that final box, I bought this little guy on our honeymoon at the Jelly Belly factory)

First day

Third Birthdays and (shocker) Disney

Remember that time when I said we weren’t going to Disney this weekend? Too much to do, I said. I lied.

That being said, I think this might have been my favorite trip to a non-water park in a really long time. We headed to Magic Kingdom, which I was afraid would be packed to the gills with last-hurrahers before school started this week but it was only medium busy. We got all of our birthday prep done in the morning and headed out to get there about 2pm. We rode a lot of rides and didn’t bring any meals (when we do eat there, we eat at Pecos Bill’s, which is pretty tasty and relatively inexpensive for Disney. $35 for all of us). We left at 9:30 when both kids were beyond spent and exhausted. Perfect.

Sunday the boy turned three. THREE! How does that even happen? He got everything he wanted within reason. He asked for banana nut muffins for breakfast and he got them.

He wanted to play in the pool most of the  day, and he got that (his brother wanted too, and he got that also).

He wanted blue minion cupcakes, and he got that (actually he had no idea and didn’t care, but they were damn cute).

We had a small family pool party at my in-laws’ house, which turned out to be absolutely perfect and laid back. I made hummus and the cupcakes but otherwise everything was store bought and the spread was laid out and easy and decorated with minions.

And now my baby is THREE. Oh, the horror. Actually, I think it’s pretty great.