There was a conversation around twitter last week/earlier
this week about not raising a jerk. I thought about this a lot last night while
my son was screaming like the world was ending while in time out for telling me
his rice tasted like pee. This was the latest issue in a trying evening, What
do you do?
It started out when I picked him up from aftercare and his
white school polo was orange. ORANGE. He had ravioli when he got there and I do
not know how he possibly could have spilled that much on his shirt but the
whole thing was orange – I should have taken a picture before I doused it in
Oxyclean. There was even a spot on his back.
But I didn’t make a big deal about it, I just made him
change when we got home, and decided that he would be changing his clothes at
after care from now on. Then I asked him what he did at school. Over the summer
at VPK he was having trouble remembering what he did, so we started by telling
me what he ate for breakfast and lunch, and two things he did. Every day. By
the end of the summer he could actually remember what he ate, so it felt like a
win (although I was aghast at what passes for breakfast – protein bar and juice
for a five year old?). I’ve kept it up in kindergarten and even though he eats
a little something at home he still eats something there too (yesterday:
Danimals yogurt, French toast, juice, white milk) and I ask him to tell me what
he had for breakfast and lunch (lunch is easier to monitor if he’s telling me
the truth because I PACK IT) and two things he did. When we were talking about
lunch he told me he didn’t drink his Capri Sun but he threw it away. I tried to
tell him that in the future, if he doesn’t eat or drink something I pack for
him, he should bring it back home with him. This started World War XIII,
because he couldn’t seem to listen to that small instruction. Instead he was
bouncing on one foot, twirling in circles, fidgeting with his socks. I know
that some kids think better when they fidget – Not My Kid. When he’s fidgeting,
he’s only thinking about the fidget and can’t concentrate on “bring your capri
sun home”. This spawned a half hour of screaming about listening and him
screaming because Time Out is a death sentence, apparently. It was bad.
So the outcome is that I will say something. He will repeat
it. Ad nauseum. It will get old quick, but I’m hoping that like the
breakfast/lunch reciting, it will actually keep things in his head. For a child
that remembers everything always, concerning actual knowledge, you’d think that
“things that would keep me out of trouble” would rate high on the remembering
scale. You’d be wrong.
And then we sat down for dinner and he told me his rice
tasted like pee. Any suggestions on how not to raise a jerk?












































