Happy Christmas!

These were hard pictures to take. For some reason, Spencer decided today of all days that he didn't want to leave Momma's arms. It was a little bothersome. Plus, I really wanted some Christmas pictures that I didn't spend an arm and a leg having someone take for me.

In other observations, has anyone noticed they renamed Pachabel's Canon as "Christmas Canon" and plays it on the Christmas channel? Ugh, I hate that song.

Anyhow, I photoshopped Spencer's black eye out of his Christmas pictures. Well, most of them. It wasn't a terrible bruise, but it was yellowing. I don't even know how he got it this time (it's the exact place as last time, right on the occipital ridge of his eye). His daycare provider said it was just like that when he woke up from his nap. He probably clocked himself on the playpen or something. Could have been worse, but every time I plan on taking pictures this happens!

greetings from the 'hood! crazyhood, that is ...

It's a good thing I remembered to water the grass last night!
 
It's raining terribly today. A dreary, nasty, hard-to-find-a-satellite-signal day. And damn if my "40s on 4" station isn't coming in! It was hit-or-miss early this morning, but now I'm rocking to Jimmie Lunsford and Bing Crosby.
 
I hate to breathe a sigh of relief since it's only Thursday (read: a day and a half left for things to go to shit), but this week has been light years better than yesterweek. Things are looking up. Tuesday I decorated the tree and put up some decorations throughout the living room convincing me that it is, in fact, the holidays. We still haven't decorated outside (well, I built 3 one-foot light trees, but I don't know if they count; they look lonely) and I told Christen we could forgo the outer-baubles. He disagreed. But next year -- weekend after Thanksgiving, man. I want them up :)
 
I meant to start Jazzercise with April this week (yes, it is 1985 again) but I couldn't get my butt in gear on time, so instead I jogged/power walked the loop from my house to Target and around again. I think it's about 1 1/5 miles. Knowing me, if I clock it, it's probably only 1/2 a mile. But I'll believe in wishful thinking and decide that as long as it was a little difficult, it was worth it. If I can keep it up I can always extend the trip once I get better at it. If it's not raining I might take Spencer with me in the jogging stroller today. Maybe.

Teetering

It’s been a rough and tumble couple of weeks these weeks past. I hope yours was good. Mine, well, not so good.

Spencer’s been doing well; a little crabby here and there. With the teething, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Evidently he’s doing better than some babies (my mom says one of us wouldn’t stop crying through most of the teething stage). He doesn’t cry a lot, but he can get crabby at the drop of a hat, especially if he’s not getting enough attention. With attention, he doesn’t even worry about his teeth. I guess that’s most babies too, right? He cut a third bottom tooth this weekend, but those two top ones have been threatening for weeks. Hopefully they’ll come in soon and we’ll be good for a little while.

I have been under a ridiculous amount of stress with my job. Most of it is my own making, I know, because I can’t stand that I’m just not up to speed on most of my files. I open them and there’s so much I don’t know and it scares me. It’s not like you can Google lawsuits to get an overview of the system. What’s involved in appellate decisions, what the proper time periods are for different filings. I thought I knew a good bit before taking this position, but I only knew the tip of the ice berg. And I know it’s going to get better, and I know that there are people there to help me. I’m so scared of missing something I constantly feel like I’m in the dark. I know it’s a learning curve. I know it gets better.

And then, on top of the work stress, when something happens at home to cause more stress, I shut down. I didn’t know I could do that. My mom does it on occasion, but I’ve always been so much better at handling my stress. It turns out I can shut down too. Wednesday I stopped eating for a couple days. Nothing I did eat would stay in me. I slept for 12 hours at a time, or I didn’t sleep at all. I broke down in hysterics at work, on the phone with attorneys’ secretaries. I haven’t been that way in, well, never. This weekend was a mending time for me. I tried to start eating again (note: wings and beer on a fragile stomach are not the way to go). I tried to start paying attention to my husband and son again. We went garage saling, and went about our normal routine. It all helped. I think I’m better. Still teetering on the brink of craziness, but hopefully better.

One thing that did happen while I was breaking down is that I immersed myself in the Twilight books. Vampires have never really been my thing; I’m not a big fantasy reader. But I consume books; once I start, if it keeps me entertained, I’ll read until I finish. I’ve never been one to read at bedtime because it’ll keep me up all night (I take that back; I’ll read at bedtime but it will keep me up at night. I have to do it when I’m willing to stay up). However, I often start picking at what I read. I’m a constant editor – loopholes in sense, grammatical errors, typos … these things take me out of a story more than they would most people. (Please don’t use this to critique my blog; I write almost in stream of consciousness here). I had none of these problems with the Twilight saga, and I don’t know if that is because they didn’t exist or because I was that obsessed. I didn’t think I’d get sucked in, but I did. I read the first book on Monday. Thursday, I read the second and third (not nearly as good, but I wanted to know more of the story). Friday, I read the fourth. Sunday, I re-read the fourth (I think it was better than the first). Monday, I found the draft of the fifth that she posted on her website half-finished, and read that. I can’t get enough. I hate to say it, but it’s all in how it makes me feel. And how I feel is obsessed. Christen might get me my own copy (I borrowed them from a friend), but I kind of hope he doesn’t. What’s to stop me from re-reading them over and over then? I’ve heard mixed reviews about the movie, so I’m torn about seeing it.

Anyhow, there are only a couple weeks until Christmas, and I’m taking most of the holiday off. I’m taking Dec 22-26 off, and then Dec 31-Jan 2 (So basically I’m working 2 days out of two weeks). I’m super excited, although I think I’ll have anxiety about my desk the whole time I’m not at it. Spencer and I will be able to finish our Christmas shopping (I’ve been doing some, but mostly I’ve been putting it off terribly, and unlike in previous years) and maybe see some relatives that haven’t met him yet. Before my vacation, I only have one trip to Ft. Lauderdale and one meeting in Clearwater , and otherwise I’m at my desk non-stop, so hopefully I’ll be able to keep everything under control over the next two weeks. It would be so nice to be breakdown-free through the New Year.

Happy Black Friday!

We went ahead and did the Black Friday thing. We actually did very well. My mother-in-law met us at our house at 6:30am, where we had pumpkin coffee waiting. We headed out and hit Target first (got a new vacuum cleaner, sorely needed) and then Best Buy (nothing bought). We then braved the mall, hitting Toojays for breakfast first before trekking through. I am of the mindset with these kinds of sales that if it's not there when I get there, it wasn't meant to be. We got a train set from KBToys for under the tree, and some clothes for Spencer and a $20 bluetooth headset for me from Sears. I got a cute pair of earrrings at some cheesy mall store. The piece de resistance was a ring, for me, for Christmas. I'm so freaking excited for Christmas now :) I mean, I was for Spencer but I never really cared about what I was getting because my husband had a habit of waiting until the last minute. I get lots of cookbooks. I always hint for something shiny, but I don't usually get it. I don't really mind, but anyhow, this time! This time I picked out my own shiny trinket. Whitehall Jewelers is going out of business and I picked out the most beautiful garnet and diamond ring. It was 70% off! It was still a little expensive, but I don't mind if I get nothing else. I'm content.

(something like this, but the middle stone is prettier)

Christen also got a Jawbone headset for himself, on sale for about 1/3 of the normal price, and we got a few odds and ends clothes at Old Navy and a bouncy ball for Spencer at Toys R Us. We didn't go overboard, and we didn't buy things just because they were on sale. We did, however, spend far too much time in the mall so we didn't get to some of the places we wanted to hit because we were just too tired. We might go a few places tomorrow, especially the places that are going out of business anyhow (read: Sound Advice) to see if we can get good deals on anything we have been in the market for, but generally, we're happy. I'm happy, so we're happy. :)

Thanksgiving and the holiday season.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It was an interesting first Thanksgiving for Mr. Man. We had lunch time meal at Cracker Barrel, and there was a little bit of a blow-up which cut our party from 15 to 10 and begat a whole lot of unneeded grief. Unfortunately some family members (well, one) doesn't know when to shut up. Spencer was cranky from lack of nap and teething issues, everyone was cranky from the previously blow-up, and the food was really so-so. It was good to see everyone though -- we really shouldn't wait so long between visits. We all live in Tampa, for goodness sakes.

For the second meal, we trekked out to Zephyrhills bearing wine, rolls and apple dumplings (they're good, but I'll be, I'm actually getting a little tired of them since we seem to bring them to every gathering). Spencer had still not had a nap but he finally fell asleep part way there and got 45 minutes in before playing with cousin Avery (11 months) and Dylan (not exactly sure who Dylan is, but he's 3 and his fam was there too ...). He ate a lot of dinner off my plate instead of eating his jarred stuff and he really liked it. Sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing, olives (he loves black olives), rolls, turkey and part of a pickle. Also he got a little ice cream for dessert!

Next year it's been discussed by both sides of Christen's fam that Thanksgiving might be at our house. I personally would welcome it. I love doing the cooking, and miss it. It's been years since I was able to do any of that. Visions of turkey brines and stuffing and cranberry sauces dance in my head ...

Sirius started playing Christmas music last week, and I've been a faithful listener. It's awesome! Not much repeats, beautiful music ... My absolute favorite is Greg Lake's I Believe in Father Christmas. There are a lot of great songs out there. Baby, it's Cold Outside, the Bells song from Home Alone, and really anything that puts you in the mood for Christmas. What's your favorite holiday song?

A beautiful day with plenty of clouds

The cooler air has come through Florida, and while there was about a week of near-freezing temperatures, it's now hovering around 70 degrees. The air and heat is off, the windows are open, and it feels great. I started chili in the crock pot, but really only because I promised Christen. We even eat chili in the summer, so it's not really a reflection of the weather although I'm hoping it gets a little chilly tonight so I really enjoy my dinner.

I also have a loaf of banana cranberry bread in the oven. I messed with the recipe a lot, so I'm hoping it comes out well. Last week I picked up a full bunch of bananas figuring I would have leftovers by this weekend for bread. Christen almost threw them away thinking they were bad (no, they're perfect!) but huzzah, I saved them.

Spencer has decided he does not need naps anymore. I think 9 1/2 months is a little early to stop taking naps, but tell that to the little one. Yesterday he took 20 minutes while I carried him through the mall and that was it. Today we're still trying to get him to sleep some. He has been sleeping a lot at night -- 7:30 last night until 8:30 this morning. Still, please?

Last week was a rough week. I started my new position, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be and I broke down and cried by Thursday. I'm fully overwhelmed and feeling under-confident about my abilities. I'm sure it will get better (all things do, right?) but right now I'm just dreading every day I go in. When I came back from maternity leave it was difficult for awhile until I got my confidence back. I'm hoping it's the same here, I'm just hoping it takes less than 2 months to feel good about my job again.

I'm getting excited about the holidays, but everytime I start feeling good about them something family-related happens to make me feel more like throwing up. My sister and mother fight so much, and my sister runs away I just don't know what to do about everything. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my sister, that she's decided her friends are more important than her family. She's going to end up dead or in jail, and I just want to cry. Why can't everyone start acting normal again?

I got to see Shelley again Friday, and that was nice. It was refreshing how easy it was to go back to how things were before. We're not the same people we were, and our friendship will never be like it was, but it was nice easy conversation and it was good to know that we can still be there for each other. I can't believe she's moving to Texas ...

Anyhow, now that I'm perfectly depressed, I'm going to go clean house before I cry. Toodles.

Catching up

It's been a long time. Sometimes I just decide I don't have enough time to update, and then by the time I get around to it, so much has happened that I don't know how to update without going through everything that has happened.

But really, a lot has happened and nothing has happened. Spencer is still cutting his third tooth. It's been a painful experience for all of us. I start my new job on Monday, which will be a welcome change from right now, as I've had a foot in each position for the past month and I've been working with a constant state of anxiety, afraid that I'm going to miss something on one desk or the other. I have a case of senioritis right now, and I'm staring at files that should be worked but I can't stand to open them. The important stuff gets done, but the follow up ... eh, the next person can do that. It will get her fully acclimated to my files. Hehe.

The past few weekends have been really nice. It's just chilly enough in the mornings that Christen has been making fires in the fireplace and we've hung out at home in the mornings, eating muffins and playing Fallout 3. It's picturesque, really. We went to Art Harvest with Dad and Zana two weekends ago, and I went to NKOTB with the girls that Sunday night ... awesome! Super cheesy and fun! I stayed out far too late and stopped drinking right when I felt like another sip would make me hurl. It was great! I was not the DD, thank god, and I had a great time. This past weekend we shopped for baby clothes (never enough!) and I went to the Junior League gift boutique sale and got some great jewelry cleaner (Shea and Suzanne also got the same stuff ... it rocked!) Anyhow, nice weekends with just enough stuff to do to not feel like I spent all weekend indoors, but not too much that I felt like I needed a vacation from my weekend. No matter what my Facebook status may have said :)

Last night I made Mexican Lasagna and it was delicious! The only change I made was that I used black beans instead of refried (yuck) and I used larger wheat flour tortillas so I only needed 4. Yummy! We ate tons last night, and then each brought some for lunch today at work, and there are two more portions in my fridge.

I can't believe it's almost Christmas! Two and a half weeks until Thanksgiving ... what's that all about? I want to decorate my house this year. I haven't decorated in years, and I never feel Christmasy. This year it's Spencer's first Christmas, and I'm super excited! I want those huge ornaments I can hang in my palm trees ... ha!