confession

So I have a confession to make. Though I resolved to not complain so much in this forum (not a New Years resolution, just one of those run o' the mill ones), I do have this one thing.

Christen is going to start working nights again. From 12-9 every night. I'm depressed just thinking about it. We've been through this before, and we'll get through it again -- when I finally got a desk job working standard business hours he was still working retail hours and I made it through that (of course, I had to get Lola so I wasn't alone). When he got his job now he started there working 12-9 and I made it through that (but I was living near my mother and was able to spend more time with her). But the last two months have been so nice being able to see him when we both got home; being able to hang out, go to dinner or even just have dinner together, go to bed at the same time, snuggle in bed in the morning knowing we'll have to get up around the same time.

But they need him at work, and he can never say no -- can never see if someone else can come to the rescue. I know his angle; he wants higher on the totem pole. Someone in the office is leaving and the guy is suggesting Christen for the job, which would have him leap-frogging some of the other employees after only two months of full-time working (before that he was contracting for the same company). And I also know he probably really didn't have a choice. At least he has a job. But ... I know I'll miss him, and I'll have the baby and I'm scared to do it on my own even though his parents will be there. It won't be the same. He'll be back to being a weekend husband for however many months (he expects two or three) and it'll just be me. And Spencer. And Lola.

T minus 14 days

I know, I know, I'm back. It's been a long time. To tell you the truth, the main reason I stopped blogging was because I felt like all I ever did was bitch -- the house issues, the pregnancy -- and I don't do that much complaining in real life -- I didn't want y'all to think that that was really how I am. I'm happy, I swear! :)

But lovely Suzanne has talked me into blogging again before my son graces us with his presence. It's been a relatively easy pregnancy. I've gained less than 20 pounds, I'm not generally uncomfortable, I've not been swelling too much (my right foot likes to swell, but that's about it), and other than the 6 times a night I get up to pee and the inordinate amount of Rolaids I've consumed in the past 3 weeks, things have been good.

So Spencer will be here in around two weeks. I'm hoping for sooner rather than later, and I know that it's not likely, as my family has had longer pregnancies and he is my first which is generally late. I'm okay with that; I'm just ready to meet him.

And I'm ready to be on maternity leave. Let's not kid ourselves -- three months on leave is calling my name. I dream that my water breaks every night. I leave my desk every day hoping that I don't have to come back the next day. Don't get me wrong; I don't mind my job. After three months I'll go back. I just can't wait to spend time with my baby and not have to worry about my files, about work. Super excited!

And just so you know (because some know how bad I've been at procrastinating here) ... as of this weekend we have the crib and changing table built and set up, the bassinet in the corner of the bedroom, and at last I've packed my bag as of this morning! So ... yay, we're actually somewhat ready!

In other news, the house thing fell through for now. We decided to move in with my in-laws, which has been pretty nice. I get cooked for every night, and other than keeping my room and bathroom clean I really have very little responsibility. We finally brought Lola over from my mom's house where she had been staying for a month and she loves it here. She really likes being in a one-dog household, even if she is relegated to the backyard full-time. She doesn't try to break out here (she was digging under the fence all the time at mom's) and she gets lots of exercise and her own doghouse when it rains or gets cold. I sure missed her; I like looking out my window and seeing her lazing in the grass.

I do miss our friends; the access we had to having people over or meet up for Winghouse. It's not quite the same, and I look forward to our having our own place again. We've decided to start looking again in April or May so that we'll have money for a down payment and time to look for a house that we both love. And I won't be pregnant and we won't be against the clock with our lease running out -- hopefully it'll be more promising.

Anyhow, I won't be a stranger! Don't you be!

ugh

So everytime I think everything's going good, everything blows up.

We have to buy a house. Only, we can't possibly afford it. We could afford the mortgage no problem, but the closing costs make me want to throw up.

Does anyone have an extra 12k lying around?

Updated

I continue to feel uninspired in posting, but in an effort to keep you non-myspacers updated, here's the scoop: I'm having a boy! Yep, there was definitely a penis on that ultrasound screen. I, who can never tell anything, saw his "twig and berries", as a friend of mine likes to say.

Also, my landlord has decided to non-renew my lease at the end of the year when I'm 8 months pregnant, so we have decided to try to buy, if we can find something we really like in our price range in the next month or so.

And finally, I bought myself a pretty pedicure yesterday. I was complaining weeks ago that my feet look like crap, and I don't like painting my own toenails, so yesterday I stopped at Happy Nail and Spa and got a pedicure. It's mighty pretty, and I feel much better.

So there, I think you're updated. One of these days I'll feel more inspired. On the other hand, I've finally been getting in the mood to write short stories again, so maybe there's just a trade-off. Toodles!

Hello there my fine feathered friends!

Well, if you knew me you'd know that I don't care much for the feathered ones, unless plucked and frozen (except Birdwoman, of course, and my mom's bunny named Feather). But anyhow, I digress.

My health has been much better this week. I actually felt good this morning when I got to work, and considering last week I didn't even get to work, that is saying something. I attribute it to starting a morning regiment of drinking a High Protein Boost (thanks Joy and Ordinary Girl!) and then trying to eat a little bit of protein with every meal. I've had sushi a couple nights this week (only the cooked stuff) and I've been getting an okay amount of sleep.

The only downer this week that I can think of is that I found today that I cannot eat eggs. I made some deviled eggs because I adore them and I thought it would be a good way to get some extra protein, but every egg I've eaten has gone right through me with some pain along the way. So no more eggs. It's a shame, too, because they're were so tasty.

I saw Ben Folds in concert on Tuesday. I went with my ex, his sister and a female friend of his. I thought it would be awkward; I almost talked myself out of going. But I'm really glad I didn't -- I had a great time. It was good to see his sister again; I always missed his family more than I missed him (hehe, shhh, don't tell him that). The concert was great, the company was good, and even though it poured so bad that my quilt weighed 10 lbs when we left, it really didn't put a damper on the night. We left before John Mayer came on -- no one wanted to see him. I was afraid that someone would, and I brought a book and my iPod to entertain me until the end of the concert. Thankfully we didn't stay, and we got to laugh at the people staying in the rain for John Mayer. Ha! :)

Over the river and through the woods

It's been an uneventful weekend thus far. Friday I left my house for 3 1/2 minutes to pick up chicken wings from Winghouse up the street, which I ate quickly and without regret. Yum! :)

Saturday I got to see my best friend from high school. He's in seminary and this summer was taking BAR classes and took that last week, so I got to see him the last weekend he was in town. It was so fun -- whenever he and I get together it's really like nothing has changed in the 10 years since high school. He's such a goofball -- I still can't believe he's going to be a priest. He curses and drinks more than any other Catholic I know -- not necessarily a bad thing in my book, but I wouldn't think that would be the enlightened way ... sure makes him fun though! :)

Other than my outing with Matt, I wandered around with the husband to buy a Wii game -- Wii Play (and he got Tiger Woods Golf because it went down $20) and then we came home and played for most of the evening (I lost terribly but it was great fun) before going out again for Winghouse (this time we ate there). Yes, I love Winghouse. For some reason it always sounds good to me. Which is not to say that I crave it per se, but that it doesn't disgust me in the way that other meat does. I need to hit the grocery store today and get some food -- we're having croissants for breakfast because it's pretty much the only thing in the house. I could make biscuits but I think we're low on milk. I think we're always low on milk.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a glass of Orange Tangerine juice and see if I can ween Christen off the TW golf so that maybe I can play some Zelda before I get my daily headache.

The latest update

If I could get off my couch or bed, I would be thrilled.

Good news on my aunt, she's dong okay. Three months to recover, but okay.

Darling Theresa had a beautiful baby boy on Wednesday. I went to the hospital Wednesday and Thursday. I don't think I'm going to make it today though. He's so beautiful! Cash Joseph Norcross. I'm sure pictures are to come shortly.

I had a horrible dream last night. I woke up hysterical and had to call my mom to make sure my sister was okay. When I woke up again I had a migrane that still hasn't completely gone away.

I hate calling in. I feel like such a failure -- I just couldn't get there today. I wish I could make it up tomorrow, but my company doesn't allow "overtime", which meaning no weekends and no working past 6pm. So I guess I'm just out the day.

So the time I've been awake has been time I've cleaned my living room windows and otherwise warmed the couch watching Lifetime movies and getting choked up -- pregnant women shouldn't watch Lifetime.

Anyone know a good way to get me to eat more protein? I just never have a taste for meat. I'm trying, I just can't do it. As it is I have to force myself to eat, but I am worried that I don't get enough protein. Someone come take me to get chicken wings!