Those are the memories that haunt my thoughts.
The shadowed trees
Lost kisses
Arguments in the quiet of my caves.
I chose to silence them.
So they would cease to play out
in every poem,
every story.
Every word to paper
is reliving.
Retelling
the fortunes of my lost soul.
Sunday, December 3, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Tuesday Morning Meme (yesterday was an off day)
70 quirks about me (minus a few)
1. Initials:ALJ
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you:Chris Gratton -- I don't know who he plays for now, but he used to play for the Lightning
3. Last thing you ate:a banana
4. For or against same sex marriage:for
5. I say Shotgun! You say?We went to this wedding last weekend. ...
6. Last person you hugged?Christen
7. Do you believe in God?Yes
8. How many U.S states have you been to?10
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in:just this one
10. Ever lived outside of the US:No.
11. Name something you like physically about yourself:my neck and my ears
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself:I care a lot about people
13. Why are you still up?There's this thing called work, and I have to be here.
15. Who made you angry today?No one
16. Favorite type of Food?:Home cooking
17. Favorite holiday?Thanksgiving or Easter -- I love being with family
18. Do you download music:sometimes
19. What illegal things have you done?Nothing too bad, but nothing I'd admit to on paper
21. Would you date the person that posted this?I did, for a long time
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?Yes.
23. Do you love anyone?Yes
24. Do you like Bush? nope
25. Have you ever bungee jumped:No
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting:No -- one day
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?Constantly. Old men really like me.
28. How much money ya got?:Currently? About $18
29. Have you met a real redneck?yep, I'm soon to be related to one or two
30. How is the weather right now:freaking cold
31.What are you listening to right now?people talking on phones at other desks
32. What is your current fav song?Do You Remember by Jack Johnson
33. What was the last movie you watched?Oh Geez. She's the One. It was terrible. Stay away. The last movie I saw in the theaters was Last Kiss, which was great.
34. Do you wear contacts:No
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?The bookstore and the library
36. What are you afraid of?the aquarium and gory movies
37. How many piercings and tattoos do you have?:one of each, plus my ears
38. How many pets do you have:one - my beautiful Lola
39. Have you ever loved someone:yes
40. What turns you on?good music and kisses on my neck
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks:Peppermint hot chocolate, but I don't often hit Starbucks.
42. Have you ever fired a gun:a bebe gun. I shot the head off one of those giant grasshoppers
43. Are you missing someone?yes
44. Fav. TV show?I've got a bunch of them now -- thank god for DVR, because I don't have the time for TV that I wish I had. What I'm currently watching: Studio 60, How I Met Your Mother, My name is Earl, Without a Trace, CSI, Criminal Minds
45. Do you have an ipod?:yep
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?nope -- I always look like someone's sister-in-law, or friend from grade school, or something like that.
48. Who would you like to see right now?Christen
49. Favorite movie of all time?that's a hard one -- I like an awful lot of movies
50. Do you find yourself loved?:Yes.
51. Ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?Yeah
52. Favorite flower:parrot tulips
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?light butter, light salt .... or just cheddared would be good.
54. What Magazines are you reading:People (I know, I suck) and the TBT
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo:nope
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?:Yes.
58. What's something that really bugs you?Conceit and Thoughtlessness
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?when he was black, he rocked. Now, not so much.
61. Whats your favorite smell?the air just before it rains, Pi by Givenchy, fresh flowers
62. Favorite baseball team:I hate baseball.
63. Favorite cereal:Vanilla Yogurt Total, and Brown Sugar mini wheats.
66. Last time you went bowling?It's been awhile, but I used to go every week.
67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?When I was little and I had sleepovers, I'd sleep on the kitchen floor. Too many people, and it was nice and cool there.
68. Who was your last phone call?:Yesterday, to Christen letting him know to meet me at the bookstore
69. Last time you were at work?I'm at work now.
70. What’s your favorite state to be in:South Carolina
1. Initials:ALJ
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you:Chris Gratton -- I don't know who he plays for now, but he used to play for the Lightning
3. Last thing you ate:a banana
4. For or against same sex marriage:for
5. I say Shotgun! You say?We went to this wedding last weekend. ...
6. Last person you hugged?Christen
7. Do you believe in God?Yes
8. How many U.S states have you been to?10
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in:just this one
10. Ever lived outside of the US:No.
11. Name something you like physically about yourself:my neck and my ears
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself:I care a lot about people
13. Why are you still up?There's this thing called work, and I have to be here.
15. Who made you angry today?No one
16. Favorite type of Food?:Home cooking
17. Favorite holiday?Thanksgiving or Easter -- I love being with family
18. Do you download music:sometimes
19. What illegal things have you done?Nothing too bad, but nothing I'd admit to on paper
21. Would you date the person that posted this?I did, for a long time
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?Yes.
23. Do you love anyone?Yes
24. Do you like Bush? nope
25. Have you ever bungee jumped:No
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting:No -- one day
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?Constantly. Old men really like me.
28. How much money ya got?:Currently? About $18
29. Have you met a real redneck?yep, I'm soon to be related to one or two
30. How is the weather right now:freaking cold
31.What are you listening to right now?people talking on phones at other desks
32. What is your current fav song?Do You Remember by Jack Johnson
33. What was the last movie you watched?Oh Geez. She's the One. It was terrible. Stay away. The last movie I saw in the theaters was Last Kiss, which was great.
34. Do you wear contacts:No
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?The bookstore and the library
36. What are you afraid of?the aquarium and gory movies
37. How many piercings and tattoos do you have?:one of each, plus my ears
38. How many pets do you have:one - my beautiful Lola
39. Have you ever loved someone:yes
40. What turns you on?good music and kisses on my neck
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks:Peppermint hot chocolate, but I don't often hit Starbucks.
42. Have you ever fired a gun:a bebe gun. I shot the head off one of those giant grasshoppers
43. Are you missing someone?yes
44. Fav. TV show?I've got a bunch of them now -- thank god for DVR, because I don't have the time for TV that I wish I had. What I'm currently watching: Studio 60, How I Met Your Mother, My name is Earl, Without a Trace, CSI, Criminal Minds
45. Do you have an ipod?:yep
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?nope -- I always look like someone's sister-in-law, or friend from grade school, or something like that.
48. Who would you like to see right now?Christen
49. Favorite movie of all time?that's a hard one -- I like an awful lot of movies
50. Do you find yourself loved?:Yes.
51. Ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?Yeah
52. Favorite flower:parrot tulips
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?light butter, light salt .... or just cheddared would be good.
54. What Magazines are you reading:People (I know, I suck) and the TBT
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo:nope
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?:Yes.
58. What's something that really bugs you?Conceit and Thoughtlessness
60. Do you like Michael Jackson?when he was black, he rocked. Now, not so much.
61. Whats your favorite smell?the air just before it rains, Pi by Givenchy, fresh flowers
62. Favorite baseball team:I hate baseball.
63. Favorite cereal:Vanilla Yogurt Total, and Brown Sugar mini wheats.
66. Last time you went bowling?It's been awhile, but I used to go every week.
67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?When I was little and I had sleepovers, I'd sleep on the kitchen floor. Too many people, and it was nice and cool there.
68. Who was your last phone call?:Yesterday, to Christen letting him know to meet me at the bookstore
69. Last time you were at work?I'm at work now.
70. What’s your favorite state to be in:South Carolina
Monday, November 20, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Do I smell snow flurries?
Holy Batman, it was cold this morning.
The cold always makes it harder to get out of bed, especially when you just bought cozy flannel sheets for your comfy cozy bed, and you're cuddled under them hoping your fiancé will drag his butt out of bed to hit the snooze instead of you having to, even though you should be getting out of bed anyhow.
But I laid there, comfy cozy with my head buried in my pillow while he hit the snooze several dozen times (actually it was 4 times, but who's counting?) until the absolute last minute that I needed to jump out of bed and hit the road to get to work on time. Thankfully, I somehow made it to work early, so no problems.
This weekend was actually really nice and relaxed. Christen and I were going to go to a car show Saturday but it didn't seem to be there; I don't know if it was a typo in the TBT or what. So we hit the end of Saturday morning market in St. Pete and wandered about a little bit. Went to Haslam's and got a couple used books: Invisible Eden by Maria Flook and Devil in White City by Erik Larson. I'm super excited about the second one; I've wanted to read it but I didn't want to pay full price for it. The other I picked up because it looked good (like, physically ... yes, I judge books by their covers. I read so much that sometimes I just pick up books because I like how they look).
Saturday night we decided to skip dinner and just get ice cream, and I wanted to bring the dog. So we set out to make the mile walk to the ice cream place, and got about 3/4 the way there when Lola freaks out and decides to sit on the side of the road and refuse to go any further. We took her back home and set out on our own for ice cream, and then when we got there decided we were hungry for real food. So we walked a bit further to the BBQ place and had dinner, hitting up ice cream on our walk back home. The 1/2 hour trip ended up taking 2 1/2, but it was way fun, and it was good for us (except for the ice cream, of course).
Sunday, Shell, Shea and I went to a craft show in Clearwater. It was okay, but somehow those seemed cooler when I was young. I guess I won't fully be able to appreciate craft shows again until I'm 60. We went to Homegoods and I got a giant glass bowl to put my wine corks in, which looks awesome as a centerpiece for my dining room table. And, they give me a place to put those damn things until the wedding. After we tired ourselves out, we parted ways and I vedged on the couch and then in the bed for the rest of the evening. Christen made dinner, but I just wasn't feeling it -- I ate my salad and drank my wine and put my dinner in the fridge. It was just one of those nights; it felt so nice cuddling in bed watching television.
The cold always makes it harder to get out of bed, especially when you just bought cozy flannel sheets for your comfy cozy bed, and you're cuddled under them hoping your fiancé will drag his butt out of bed to hit the snooze instead of you having to, even though you should be getting out of bed anyhow.
But I laid there, comfy cozy with my head buried in my pillow while he hit the snooze several dozen times (actually it was 4 times, but who's counting?) until the absolute last minute that I needed to jump out of bed and hit the road to get to work on time. Thankfully, I somehow made it to work early, so no problems.
This weekend was actually really nice and relaxed. Christen and I were going to go to a car show Saturday but it didn't seem to be there; I don't know if it was a typo in the TBT or what. So we hit the end of Saturday morning market in St. Pete and wandered about a little bit. Went to Haslam's and got a couple used books: Invisible Eden by Maria Flook and Devil in White City by Erik Larson. I'm super excited about the second one; I've wanted to read it but I didn't want to pay full price for it. The other I picked up because it looked good (like, physically ... yes, I judge books by their covers. I read so much that sometimes I just pick up books because I like how they look).
Saturday night we decided to skip dinner and just get ice cream, and I wanted to bring the dog. So we set out to make the mile walk to the ice cream place, and got about 3/4 the way there when Lola freaks out and decides to sit on the side of the road and refuse to go any further. We took her back home and set out on our own for ice cream, and then when we got there decided we were hungry for real food. So we walked a bit further to the BBQ place and had dinner, hitting up ice cream on our walk back home. The 1/2 hour trip ended up taking 2 1/2, but it was way fun, and it was good for us (except for the ice cream, of course).
Sunday, Shell, Shea and I went to a craft show in Clearwater. It was okay, but somehow those seemed cooler when I was young. I guess I won't fully be able to appreciate craft shows again until I'm 60. We went to Homegoods and I got a giant glass bowl to put my wine corks in, which looks awesome as a centerpiece for my dining room table. And, they give me a place to put those damn things until the wedding. After we tired ourselves out, we parted ways and I vedged on the couch and then in the bed for the rest of the evening. Christen made dinner, but I just wasn't feeling it -- I ate my salad and drank my wine and put my dinner in the fridge. It was just one of those nights; it felt so nice cuddling in bed watching television.
Monday Morning Meme
1. Where were you when it turned 2006?
Went to a movie with Christen, Shea & Kyle. Please don't ask me what movie; I have no idea.
2. How did you get the idea for your myspace name? "A Statistical Zero" Because statistically my name won't exist when I get married -- there's too few people with the new last name ...
3. What song are you listening to right now? People typing and catching up on eachother's weekends
4. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? No, but I get choked up easily, I just don't cry.
6. Do you own an iPod? 4G Green iPod mini
7. What did you do this morning? Waited an obscene amount of time before getting out of my nice warm bed into the freezing cold house to get ready for work.
8. What does your mom do for a living?
She cleans parking lots. So pick up your damn trash so she doesn't have to.
9. What will you do tonight? Volunteer at the library, and then vedge (I like spelling it that way better -- it fits me better)
10. What's your favorite memory from last weekend? Last weekend was yesterday, and I had a pretty good weekend. There was lots of shopping with Shell and Shea on Sunday, and Saturday Christen and I wandered around St. Pete and walked to dinner and ice cream.
11. What are the last two digits of your phone number? 13 or 70
12. What was the last thing you ate? Tootsie rolls
13. What was last thing you drank? Chianti. It wasn't that great, but the bottle is pretty, so I'm keeping it for my wedding centerpieces
14. What was the last movie you watched? I started watching Election yesterday, but the last full movie was Prime a couple days ago
15. What do you dislike at the moment? Stress, like what I get when I think about anything I have to pay for.
16. What food do you crave right now? Chick-fil-a, but I'm going to make do with cheese toast from the cafe downstairs
17. Did you dream last night? Yeah, but I don't remember -- I think it had something to do with the Without a Trace episode from last night; I think I had been kidnapped.
18. What was the last TV show you watched? Without a Trace
19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry? my engagement ring
20. Name someone on your Top Friends who is just like you? no one
22. Who last text messaged you? Shelley
23. Are you on any medication? just the BCP
24. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Right
25. What color shirt are you wearing? maroon
26. What is your favorite frozen treat? Bacio gelato from the gelataria, or Monkey bites from Cold Stone
27. How many piercings do you have? my ears and my tongue
28. What's your favorite store? NY&Co and Ann Taylor Loft
29. Are you thirsty right now? yep, I need hot chocolate
30. Who's someone you haven't seen for a while and miss? Matt, because he's at seminary now.
31. What did you do last night? watched tv -- VH1's 100 greatest 80s songs, Cold Case and Without a Trace
32. Do you care what people think about you? yes and no. I do, but I'm too lazy to actively care.
35. What are your font colors on MSN? does anyone still use MSN?
36. Where do you live? Palm Harbor
37. Are you aggressive? not really, I'm generally passive, but I get a little testy sometimes
38. Mobile Phone Network? Nextel
39. Do you like the person who posted this last? Love her -- she's my MOH
41. What is the thing that you would most like to change about yourself? I wish I liked the way I look more
43. What do you smell like right now? Clean, I think.
44. What is your favorite color? Blue or Green
45. Do you like mustard?Yes, in small doses
46. What do you tell yourself when times get hard? I don't, I wait for others to tell me. This is probably part of the problem.
47. Would you ever sky dive? Not now, but when I'm old it might be something to remind me that I'm still alive.
48. Do you sleep on your side, tummy or back? side or tummy
49. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? Yep, every once in awhile
50. What did you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant? didn't care, much, really. I can't stand her.
51. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Most of the time
52. Do you consider yourself to be fashionable? Sometimes, mostly I think I'm slightly behind the fashion curve, except with my shoes :)
53. Do you own a digital camera? yes
55. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? the Ewoks
56. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't? Yes.
57. What are you allergic to? cats and codein
58. Are you a jealous person? sometimes, really only usually when it's not warranted.
59. Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat? nope. tasty, tasty flesh ...
60. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name be? David Elliott.
Went to a movie with Christen, Shea & Kyle. Please don't ask me what movie; I have no idea.
2. How did you get the idea for your myspace name? "A Statistical Zero" Because statistically my name won't exist when I get married -- there's too few people with the new last name ...
3. What song are you listening to right now? People typing and catching up on eachother's weekends
4. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? No, but I get choked up easily, I just don't cry.
6. Do you own an iPod? 4G Green iPod mini
7. What did you do this morning? Waited an obscene amount of time before getting out of my nice warm bed into the freezing cold house to get ready for work.
8. What does your mom do for a living?
She cleans parking lots. So pick up your damn trash so she doesn't have to.
9. What will you do tonight? Volunteer at the library, and then vedge (I like spelling it that way better -- it fits me better)
10. What's your favorite memory from last weekend? Last weekend was yesterday, and I had a pretty good weekend. There was lots of shopping with Shell and Shea on Sunday, and Saturday Christen and I wandered around St. Pete and walked to dinner and ice cream.
11. What are the last two digits of your phone number? 13 or 70
12. What was the last thing you ate? Tootsie rolls
13. What was last thing you drank? Chianti. It wasn't that great, but the bottle is pretty, so I'm keeping it for my wedding centerpieces
14. What was the last movie you watched? I started watching Election yesterday, but the last full movie was Prime a couple days ago
15. What do you dislike at the moment? Stress, like what I get when I think about anything I have to pay for.
16. What food do you crave right now? Chick-fil-a, but I'm going to make do with cheese toast from the cafe downstairs
17. Did you dream last night? Yeah, but I don't remember -- I think it had something to do with the Without a Trace episode from last night; I think I had been kidnapped.
18. What was the last TV show you watched? Without a Trace
19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry? my engagement ring
20. Name someone on your Top Friends who is just like you? no one
22. Who last text messaged you? Shelley
23. Are you on any medication? just the BCP
24. What side of the bed do you sleep on? Right
25. What color shirt are you wearing? maroon
26. What is your favorite frozen treat? Bacio gelato from the gelataria, or Monkey bites from Cold Stone
27. How many piercings do you have? my ears and my tongue
28. What's your favorite store? NY&Co and Ann Taylor Loft
29. Are you thirsty right now? yep, I need hot chocolate
30. Who's someone you haven't seen for a while and miss? Matt, because he's at seminary now.
31. What did you do last night? watched tv -- VH1's 100 greatest 80s songs, Cold Case and Without a Trace
32. Do you care what people think about you? yes and no. I do, but I'm too lazy to actively care.
35. What are your font colors on MSN? does anyone still use MSN?
36. Where do you live? Palm Harbor
37. Are you aggressive? not really, I'm generally passive, but I get a little testy sometimes
38. Mobile Phone Network? Nextel
39. Do you like the person who posted this last? Love her -- she's my MOH
41. What is the thing that you would most like to change about yourself? I wish I liked the way I look more
43. What do you smell like right now? Clean, I think.
44. What is your favorite color? Blue or Green
45. Do you like mustard?Yes, in small doses
46. What do you tell yourself when times get hard? I don't, I wait for others to tell me. This is probably part of the problem.
47. Would you ever sky dive? Not now, but when I'm old it might be something to remind me that I'm still alive.
48. Do you sleep on your side, tummy or back? side or tummy
49. Have you ever bid for something on eBay? Yep, every once in awhile
50. What did you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant? didn't care, much, really. I can't stand her.
51. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Most of the time
52. Do you consider yourself to be fashionable? Sometimes, mostly I think I'm slightly behind the fashion curve, except with my shoes :)
53. Do you own a digital camera? yes
55. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? the Ewoks
56. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't? Yes.
57. What are you allergic to? cats and codein
58. Are you a jealous person? sometimes, really only usually when it's not warranted.
59. Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat? nope. tasty, tasty flesh ...
60. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name be? David Elliott.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Soon to be a statistical zero ...
This is me now:
An this is me then:
At least I'll be able to call myself special! There are only 330 people in the country with my soon-to-be last name, and I bet 229 of them are related (and 50-100 of them live in Tampa and the surrounding area)
Thursday, November 9, 2006
blah and blah
One of my closest friends from work has up and left. Tuesday she still worked here, and then yesterday she said that a school that she interviewed at had offered her the job, and then by the afternoon she had decided to take said job, and today at 11am she left for good. I'm slightly depressed by this, because she was my regular lunch buddy, and now I'm back to eating at my desk. I don't like imposing myself on other groups' eating habits, so I will probably continue eating at my desk until someone decides to start inviting me to eat with their group. Aren't I such a dork? I just can't encroach on other groups.
In other news, though, I didn't think it was beyond me to raid her desk (before she left) to get the good stuff. I took her monitor riser because I had none, and the speakers she got from IT because I also had none. Sadly, they've banned all streaming-bandwidth Web sites, but I found a back way to listen to NPR, but it's not the easiest thing to listen to in the background. I'm going to need to start bringing in my CDs, now that I have speakers. I listen to my iPod, but listening to the same songs every day is starting to grate on my nerves, and I'd rather not have to continue changing my songs out to keep things fresh.
I have figured out how to eat in the cafe downstairs in my building without going broke. It's quite simple, really. Only eat the specials. Today I got an italian foccasia and a side of pasta salad for $5, and it was quite good, but I could only eat 1/2 the sandwich. I will bring the rest home for Christen, and I think he'll be pleased. It should heat up well in the toaster oven. The other secret is to not buy a drink down there. It's $1 for a 20-oz drink in the machines, but $1.25 plus tax (coming out to about $1.36) for the same thing six floors down. I'm not entirely sure why, but I suppose it's not my problem. :)
I've been piddling around with a few books lately. During lunch today I finished Ghosting by Jennie Erdal, which was quite good, but in between that I took out two nights to re-read High Fidelity, since I re-watched it while the cable was out. I also continue to start and stop Saturday by Ian McEwan. I don't know why, but it just hasn't been keeping my attention. It lies in my backseat and I reach for it when I need a spare book at work. I'm not sure what to read next; I really am in the midst of reading half a dozen books, and it would probably be good for me to finish one or two of them.
In other news, though, I didn't think it was beyond me to raid her desk (before she left) to get the good stuff. I took her monitor riser because I had none, and the speakers she got from IT because I also had none. Sadly, they've banned all streaming-bandwidth Web sites, but I found a back way to listen to NPR, but it's not the easiest thing to listen to in the background. I'm going to need to start bringing in my CDs, now that I have speakers. I listen to my iPod, but listening to the same songs every day is starting to grate on my nerves, and I'd rather not have to continue changing my songs out to keep things fresh.
I have figured out how to eat in the cafe downstairs in my building without going broke. It's quite simple, really. Only eat the specials. Today I got an italian foccasia and a side of pasta salad for $5, and it was quite good, but I could only eat 1/2 the sandwich. I will bring the rest home for Christen, and I think he'll be pleased. It should heat up well in the toaster oven. The other secret is to not buy a drink down there. It's $1 for a 20-oz drink in the machines, but $1.25 plus tax (coming out to about $1.36) for the same thing six floors down. I'm not entirely sure why, but I suppose it's not my problem. :)
I've been piddling around with a few books lately. During lunch today I finished Ghosting by Jennie Erdal, which was quite good, but in between that I took out two nights to re-read High Fidelity, since I re-watched it while the cable was out. I also continue to start and stop Saturday by Ian McEwan. I don't know why, but it just hasn't been keeping my attention. It lies in my backseat and I reach for it when I need a spare book at work. I'm not sure what to read next; I really am in the midst of reading half a dozen books, and it would probably be good for me to finish one or two of them.
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