I'm a pusher, but not a drug pusher

Originally posted April 10:

I seem to have a lot of blogs backed up in my journal, so I thought Id mass drop them onto the server (woohoo! server crash!) and give my readers (of which there are two) my random ramblings. Today and tomorrow it is my intention to catch up on all my emails from the past week or so that I havent gotten to (so if youve written me and I havent written you back, never fear time is here!) that being said, if I havent written you back from Wednesday, Ive forgotten that I didnt reply to your email and you should probably write me again. :) I apologize in advance.

I am in need of book and music recommendations as of late. Books I dont read supernatural, or books with a lot of foreign names (its my quirk I get lost in the names unless I can substitute Bob or Harry or Soren the Bunny-slayer this is why I never got very far in The Battle Royale). Or comic books, unless they are just fantabulous (and I can find it in Barnes and Noble so I dont have to purchase it). These are my only stipulations. I like normal, wonderful language in novel form. As for music, I like anything except for rap and r&b. I just cant get into it, and youll be wasting your time trying to get me into it. I hear it at my moms house; its not like Im not exposed to it. But I love swing, rockabilly, classic rock, jazz, nerd rock (see the next entry on that), and anything thats well done or even catchy. Sometimes I get hooked on pop music like the rest of you (even you that say you hate pop music its a guilty pleasure because you can always sing along!) although Ill rarely buy these albums. I do need more music for the iPod. Its getting a little redundant lately.

Im entering the home stretch for the next month and a half: After the next 2 weekends, where Im not really required to do too much, I have: Christens cousins wedding, the TMBG show, Shelleys bridal shower, Shelleys bachelorette party, the band reunion, Shelleys wedding (noticing a trend here?) and the trip to Dallas for GeoWoodstock IV. If the weddings dont break the bank, Dallas will do it, Im sure. Im thinking about getting a small loan just to make sure theres money in my account when Im trying to do all this. :)

Im listening to Ben Folds sing Tiny Dancer right now. How do you put that in the listening to category? Hehe.

A tad more sane:

Originally posted April 6:

So I made ribs and smashed cauliflower for dinner, did the dishes, and got a life, so I'm a bit more sane than earlier. Well, for me anyhow. Decided to subscribe to a bunch of people's blogs ... yay for me, right? And I wrote a few more first sentences in my journal. One of these days I suppose I'll write more. I wrote a short story that Autumn asked me to write, and it was so torturous! And I wasn't thrilled with it once I finished -- it was too obscure. What I wanted to show through didn't come out at all. Don't you hate when that happens? But I'm working on it -- it'll all come together.

Regrets, Writer's Block and Petty Thoughts

Originally posted April 6:

Can you regret the way things came to pass and not regret the things you've done? The long drive home has given way to too many thoughts, too many memories rising to the surface like cream to be scraped off and discarded and yet they cannot be forgotten. I made my decisions and I'm sticking to them because they made me a better person, stronger and more whole. My entire list of friends on this thing are people I once knew, someone I was friends with, someone I was intimate with, someone I loved, someone I envied, someone I played with in the orange tree in the front yard. These things cannot be buried or changed; they just are.

I've been spending my time for the last six months planning. Planning for other people's lives -- their weddings, their children ... planning planning but not for my life, my wedding, my children. I feel so petty to think, when is it going to be me? I don't mean to sound bitter -- all I mean is, if you say you love me and want to spend the rest of our lives together, why can't the rest of our lives begin relatively soon?

I've not been able to write lately. And by lately, I mean the last two years. I have notebooks and notebooks of this and that. Scraps of ideas wadded in my purse. What can a lifetime of first lines get you though?

525,600 minutes

Originally posted April 1st:

I was watching Rent today and, of course, I was waxing nostalgic. So sue me.

How do you measure a year?

Just so you know

I'm not dead. I've actually been doing my blogging on MySpace. I'll forward those blogs to here ... eventually :) Otherwise, let me know if you're on myspace!

awesome :)

Pure Nerd 73 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 17% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 83% on nerdiness You scored higher than 60% on geekosity You scored higher than 17% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

One thousand million tons of bananas.

Monday, bloody Monday -- I think that my weekends have to be good as overcompensation of terrible weeks. It was one of those weeks where I kept getting serious injury after serious injury at work: pedestrians, bicyclists, motorcycles, golf carts, lost pregnancies ... I was so happy to be out of work when Friday came about. But .... my weekend was a blast (again ... hehe).

Saturday I had yoga for only the second time since I started -- Other April and I took 2 weeks off after our first class for drinking/vacation reasons. It was so much better than the first time. We did more stretch yoga, like pigeon pose (let me tell you how much I love "doing the uh uh pigeon" ... as Bert from Sesame Street would say). I love the stretching, but I'm no good at the balancing -- I have no balance. I think that I'm going to set up the spare television in that weird room off the deck in the house to do yoga through the week to see if I can get better at the balancing. The only yoga tape I have is abs yoga, but I'll start working with that and see how I do.

Other April brought purses back from Chinatown and I got a small tan and brown Coach and a large black Prada. I'm so excited about the Prada one -- it's really nice. The insides don't look like a real one, but who but me sees the inside? The Coach wasn't really that well-made, but it's good in a pinch when I need a brown one for the club or something.

Saturday night the girls and I had a sleepover at Stacy's house -- the first sleepover I've been to since high school (well, besides sleeping over at boys' houses or them sleeping over mine ...). We had such an awesome time! Other April and I brought booze and board games, Suzanne brought mixers and penis straws, penis stirs and margarita glasses that had our names and "Girl's Night 2006" on them, and Stacy provided the venue and the food. It was so fabulous! We drank like crazy and stayed up until 5am, and talked about boys and sex and everything else you're supposed to talk about at a sleepover (all those secrets you end up revealing that aren't allowed to leave the party). There were suggestive pictures taken with the penis straws and everything :)

Sunday I took Other April home and then Christen and I went to the driving range for a few hours -- I realized I'm not as terrible at golf as I thought I would be. It was a lot of fun; I'll definitely be going back. I have a set of left-handed golf clubs that my dad gave me, and I'm only missing a club or two (I know I'm missing a 1 iron; that might be it). We hit about 350 balls between the two of us -- I hurt my middle finger from swinging -- and whiffing -- and it still hurts a little bit. We went to his parents' house for a little bit after that and I discussed this wedding that we are going to at the end of April with his mom. We've decided that since it's a spring wedding on a Saturday afternoon that it was acceptable for me to wear one of my cute little sundresses, which makes me happy because that means I don't have to go out and get another new dress. All my other dresses are black and pretty fancy. Maybe I can get Christen a lighter color dress shirt, like a light green, so I won't be the only less dressy person. My sundresses are way cute though. I have a blue striped one from the Loft (I love that store) and a white one with little flowers that I got at a great sale at Macy's. As a matter of fact, if it would warm up I would wear them to work -- it's 60 degrees all of a sudden! What happened the high 70s/low 80s of last month????

Last night we decided to hit Mama's pizza for dinner. They have the best breadsticks anywhere -- a little bit of heaven in your mouth. I only had one piece of pizza and a few breadsticks, but it definitely was worth it to go -- so yummy :) Saturday we hit a little seafood restaurant on Clearwater beach called Frenchy's for lunch, and I will tell you they had the best she crab soup I have ever had. Ever. And I get she crab soup anytime I see it on the menu, so I can say I'm a bit of a connoisseur. It had a lot of crab instead of just a little lump on top, and it was smooth and creamy with the sherry and a little kick of cayenne pepper or something. Way tasty.