i'm a lazy bitch.

because 'bitch' makes it sound so much better.

i've actually got some things done. snacob's cage got cleaned out and he ate one large mouse (i actually did this all by myself a la jeff corwin -- i put him in a handy scooby pillowcase while i cleaned).

and i made beef stroganoff the other night (not last night; that was grilled hot dogs). it was damn tasty. i think i'll take the leftovers to work tomorrow for lunch, unless christen doesn't come hom for dinner and then i'm eating it tonight. this leads me to my 10 favorite things to cook:

1) lasagne.

2) chicken bryan a la carrabba's

3) rosemary chicken with roasted potatoes.

4) beef stroganoff

5) chicken mignon

6) pancakes

7) mushroom rice

8) macaroni & cheese (baked and stove top -- have i mentioned lately how much i love mac & cheese?)

9) sausage stuffing

10) challah braided bread

11) all of thanksgiving dinner

12) prailines

13) chili

14) homemade chicken noodle soup

15) cookies

oh, did i say 5? oh, the hell with it. i love me some cookin'.

anywho, i've mostly been lazy because i've looked at my blog (this is the reason all those links are on the left -- quick access) but i've not been writing. at all. but oh well, you know? fuck it. hehe. yeah, that's it! fuck it. fuck it all, dammit. oh wait. i don't curse.

the 4 and 5 of the "unrequited loves" shouldn't count because i was the one doing the unrequiting. so screw it. i didn't like them. they liked me. back and forth, repeat as necessary. repeat until you enjoy it, sucker.

plus, 5 will also be in my "4 most ridiculous situations i've ever gotten myself into," and will be known as "my-god-scott-i-swear-you-get-shorter-everytime-i-see-you." so you'll know the story; no need to do it twice.

unrequited loves.

1)nathan perley. 4th grade. in mrs. uhl's class there were not desks; there were round brown tables. mrs. uhl, being the extra smart teacher that she was, decided that all the left-handed kids should sit at the same table so we wouldn't bother our neighbors (the beginning of my ousting). i don't remember most of the people that sat at that table with me, but i do remember nathan. i had the googly eyes for him from the beginning. i'd stare sideways at him while he worked on his writing assignments; i joined art club to be closer to him (and to make really cool fake mcd's fries from melting yellow crayons and dipping styrofoam strips into it). but when valentine's day came around, laura, the short jehovah's witness (that's all i remember about her -- she didn't stand for the pledge) got the "would you be mine?" valentine, while i got the "you're a pal" valentine. and then i got stuck disecting an owl pellet with frank q. yick on all accounts.

2)clay hardman. 5th grade. so i got over nathan (he moved, i think) and clay transferred into my class halfway through the school year. it was here that i learned my stalking tactics. there was a girl that i knew in his apartment complex. we shortly became best friends. i spent the night at her house whenever i could, we roamed the complex at dusk hoping to get a peak at him (and his brother -- they traveled in packs). then one day she and clay ... well, let's just say she got the better valentine. and to hold hands with him.

3)jeff klein. 6th-8th. i fell hard for jeff. hard. due to the wonders of alphabetical seating charts, he and i always sat very close to each other and in 6th grade we were in 5 out of 7 classes together. jeff had the adorable habit (we all know i love the class clown) of making snide comments under his breath, and i laughed every single time. every time. i was the stupid giggling girl. i perfected my stalking techniques, getting invited to the same birthday parties (my roll of film from olivia lupee's 12th birthday has a piece of him in every picture) finding out his address, biking past it every weekend hoping he'd be around ... (he lived on jefferson, how cute is that?) memorizing his phone number and calling and hanging up ... in my yearbook i made little hearts next to his picture and then wrote (not!) next to it ... like i was fooling anyone.

he had to have known i liked him. everyone else knew, right? i even got up the courage to ask him to my 13th birthday party, and he gave me a stuffed squirrel, which i cherished for years (i may still even have it somewhere) but nothing ever came of it. every once in awhile i still drive by his parents' house to see what's going on with him. last i knew he was going to pfeiffer university majoring in poly-sci.

4 and 5 tomorrow.

i think someone's getting married.

the lady that lives two doors down from me keeps walking back and forth in front of my window in a fancy white dress. and then some other chick walked by in a black foofoo dress. i think someone's getting married. i'd wish her luck but i don't talk to them. it's kind of an icky day though, so i hope she's doing it inside.

so this morning i was all for it being cold because it's been quite chilly the last few days. i woke up at 11 (i know, i know ... but i'll have to get up at 6 the rest of the week, so i'm getting it while i can) and put on a long-sleeved black button-down ... yeah, it was 85 degrees out. i changed.

went to lunch with christen today. the dude at alehouse marvelled that christen had company today, since he goes there every day by himself. i don't like alehouse, actually. i usually get a hotdog. today i got the french dip but it wasn't very good. oh well, i got to see christen and that's important.

i went to just books again today and bought some for my brother for christmas. i've now filled a paper box with books, so i think he's good for awhile. i also stopped at michaels for drawing supplies and b&n for a good animal drawing book (for jamie). i bought charcoal pencils, but now i don't know if i should get drawing pencils instead. i don't draw, so i don't know.

i found out today that a good friend is being proposed to this month (i don't use names just in case, because i was told to keep my mouth shut. i'm keeping my mouth shut, but what about if i let my fingers do the talking?) and while i'm jealous, i'm also so happy for her. she's been with her boyfriend much longer than christen and i've been together, so good for her. i got the day off, so we'll be there when it happens. yay!

for autumn. (a poem)

autumn is death

for the play in numbers

finding joy in places

of brilliant creation.





autumn is death

with a straight razor

at the throat of a plump gazelle

or boar, stealing life

from worthlessness.





autumn is life

within death

a voice of succulent

maliciousness

in her marrow

of midnight danger.





autumn brings me

dandelions and calla lilies

in fanciness

in happiness

and in death.

this is it.

this is my third day off in a row.

i think i should go christmas shopping, but i still don't know what to get people. and oddly, my closest friends lately have been blogging people that i don't really know but feel inclined to get christmas presents for. so this is what i've come up with for people:

my sister: painting supplies and a few canvases so she might try her luck at painting.

my brother: as many used books as i can get him for 20-25 dollars. i'm scouring the bookstores for lovecraft right now.

my mom: AAA for her shitty nissan she's getting friday.

my dad: ???

christen: ???

shea: ???

kyle: ???

i usually get brad, autumn, adrian, shelley and richard things, but i don't know if i am this year. i don't see anyone anymore socially. everyone is so busy (me included). if i see something that is specifically "them", i'll pick it up. but i do that anyhow. autumn is going into the hospital on dec. 8 for almost a week (brain/spine surgery) and i'm very worried about her, so i might shop for her just to get my mind off of it. and i might get jordan a present to make him not grouchy, as he has been during finals.

i slept till 11 yesterday, and decided to go to my mother's. dern dogs. her pit stepped on my big toe (i should learn from this experience never to wear flipflips to her house) and scratched it up (but you know i won't learn). she has three huge dogs (1 lab/chow mix, 1 pit and 1 mastiff) ... as well as 2-3 snakes, 3 cats (i contributed, neko is mine but he kept peeing on the carpet so i gave him to her), 2 ferrets, a hamster and 2 birds. and a partridge in a pear tree. she's also had an array of iguanas, a sugar glider (i met him when i had a sunburn. ouch, those are razer claws!) and a variety of other animals. my mother's house is why palm harbor claims to have a zoo already. :)

then last night was the store christmas party. we had olive garden, which was pretty good, and sat around the funiture pad. and i got to play with katie, sarah's baby, and deja, jessica's daughter. so i had a good time. i got a christopher lowell candle set. yay! and we bought a vonage setup kit so i'll have a home phone soon.

high score last night: 133.

all scores: 130, 133, 98, 117, 108, 112, 94.

terrible. (with spanish accent)

but! but! i got my first turkey ever. yay!

something borrowed.

found this on someone else's blog (indydown) and thought it was amusing so it ended up here.

The Columbus Dispatch11/16/04CANADA BUSY SENDING BACK BUSH-DODGERS

by Joe Blundo

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night."I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywoodproducer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhaustedand hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. WhenI said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higherfences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakersthat blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," hesaid. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows somuch they wouldn't give milk."Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberalsnear the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drivethem across the border an d leave them to fend for themselves."A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," anOntario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop ofdrinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping busesand quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers."If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies."I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said."We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might putsome endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

ha! hell yeah, dude.

You scored as Derranged Cat. Wow. . . lay off the halucinogenics and brush your hair once in a while. You're one sick, derranged s.o.b.

Derranged Cat 75% Pissed at the World Cat 67% Ninja Cat 67% Love Machine Cat 58% Drunk Cat 50% Nerd Cat 17% Couch Potato Cat 8%

Which Absurd Cat are you?

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