I haven’t been posting that often lately because frankly, I’ve been a bit of a mess. I’ve been snippy and cranky and possibly a little depressed. I’m having anxiety attacks and falling asleep at 8pm only to wake up multiple times a night and have dreams that are a lot like episodes of Criminal Minds or the Rachel Maddow show. I’m not getting as much exercise as usual, and I have no energy to push myself to try to exercise. I ran 2.75 miles on Tuesday because I’m signed up for 2 5ks in less than two weeks, and I nearly threw up after and felt like my body was revolting for the rest of the day.
The past six weeks haven’t been great. But honestly, I don’t *feel* any more stressed than usual. I don’t know what’s bringing this on, but I’m not a joy to be around, I feel bad because most of the time I don’t want to play with my kids because they just keep annoying me, and I’m not being a good wife.
I have a doctor’s appointment on Friday. Hopefully I’ll follow that up with finding a good therapist, and all will be hunky dory. In the meantime, it appears I have two book clubs and a writing club to prepare for, two kids birthday parties and a baby shower to find gifts for, a date night Friday to gussy up for, and Spencer’s friend is sleeping over on Saturday.
Anybody have a bag I can breathe into?
3 comments:
*hands over bag and a hug*
I think I understand what you're feeling. Don't be down on yourself for feeling the way you do. It's obvious you don't want to feel that way and your guilt probably makes you even harder on yourself and even crankier. It does for me anyway.
It sounds like you're making good steps talking to a doctor. And it probably doesn't seem like it now, but it'll get better.
Good luck at the doctor tomorrow. I hope you can get this figured out and start improving quickly!
I certainly can relate; there are days I roll out of bed and the world is already not right. I hope things went well with the doctor and you can get back on track...This is just one of those speed bumps :)
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