Dear god, I blogged.

It's been awhile.

So long, in fact, that I thought long and hard about closing up shop and deciding I’m no longer a blogger. I tried to decide if I’d be okay with that. I so seldom have time for blogging. As it is right now, I’m taking a 15 minute break from my long list of duties to type something out. I don’t know what will come out. It will probably be rambly and not interesting and is anyone reading these days anyhow? Comment if you’re actually reading. It’s okay.

Anyhow, my brain is still being worked on. The road back from rock bottom of mental illness is not linear and that’s a hard pill (ha!) to swallow.(Okay, so maybe it wasn’t rock bottom but it was definitely the lowest point I’ve seen since college and I’ve had a lot of low points in the last 13 years)  I have a couple doctors working on me, and I’m working on me quite a bit. I’ve been exercising like gangbusters, which has helped my mental state some, and I’m also on meds and in therapy and reading self-help books and I HATE SELF HELP BOOKS, GUYS.

Also helpful is that I’ve taken a couple of real, honest to god vacations. Vacations that I’ve actually come back from feeling refreshed. Whoddathunk that taking a break actually helps? Amazing. I went to Chicago and Michigan with a good friend. I took an entire week off with my family and took a four-day road trip with them that wasn’t over stuffed with activities. I’m heading to Sedona in a couple weeks with a big group of girlfriends. We’re planning a weekend camping trip in May. So much extracurriculars; so much fun.

Work is still hard; I love my job but I have trouble seeing myself doing this for the next 30 years. I’ve thought about what to do when I grow up – do I want to go to law school? Do I want to get my masters? I think what I want to do is get my Masters in Library Science. I think this is what I was meant for. I’ve adored libraries, bookstores, the feel of books around me ever since I was a tot. Thinking about getting the schooling to make that happen fills me with excitement instead of dread.  There’s so much to feel dread about in the world. Hope matters too.

So I’m going to try to keep this up. This space matters to me. I’m not sure what it will become – maybe I’ll start posting my book recommendations again, my lists of what I’ve read, what I’ve listened to, where I’ve eaten and what beers I’ve drank. My obsession with my Winc subscription. Things that have helped my head space lately. What I’ve cooked. Do these sound relatively fun to read about?

Toodlo-oo, my friends. Happy Friday.