Dusting off, Don't let the door hit you 2016, and 2017 intentions

I've tried, I really have. I even did one of those "Day in the Life" posts to kick things off, but ugh. My life is so boring. So here I am without fanfare. (*edited to add that I ended up doing one of those end-of-year surveys yesterday, which was boring and depressing. This post now feels redundant but I'm doing it anyhow.)

Things are ... better. I'm still down, and I still have wild ups and downs. I'm seeing a therapist, although I haven't lit the fire under my butt to do some of the homework he's assigned me (I have an aversion to self-help books). I haven't been reading at all - I don't have the head space for anything except re-watching Veronica Mars over and over.

I did watch Die Hard for the first time, Christmas Eve.

It's been a terrible year. No one close to me has died, the state of the world has me continually hyperventilating and donating money to this and that organization.

The kids are perpetually okay though. My saving grace. And my husband has been so gracious in the face of all my nonsense.

2017 is hopefully the year I get myself together. Here are my resolutions/intentions:

Jennie is doing the BBL again this year, and I'm all in. It's not so much about the losing weight, but I really hate *how I look* and I need to resolve that for myself. So BBL for me, this year, is about self-care. Working on my mental health issues. Taking time for myself. Getting my family onto more vegetables and water and on less sugar. Drinking less (none in January, we'll talk after that). Find a psychiatrist (right now my GP is prescribing my anxiety and anti-depressants and that isn't working for the long term). Do the homework the doctor recommends. Like myself.

We desperately need more room for our family, but I think after some serious looking and discussing about how much we would have to put down, we think we'll wait a year. One year, to save as much as we can and make an honest list of what needs doing around our house now, and we'll work on those things. I'm not giving up the couple of trips I have planned, although I'm going to set aside the money for them immediately so we don't take the hit in March and April. We're going to pay off my car so we don't have any more debt except the house, and then we're going to save save save save. This time next year hopefully we can truly afford our forever house instead of settling for something that isn't at all what we want.

I hope to be around here more, because I think that when I'm feeling okay - not on top of the world, just normal. I'm here. So ideally, I'll be here.

Avada Kedavra, 2016.