Otherwise, time passes. We are good, things are (mostly) good. I was on the outs with my meds and that did not put me in a very good head space. My anxiety was blessedly doing okay which is why I was waffling on getting back on them, but the anger was rising. My fuse shortened, I wasn’t laughing or smiling much, so this weekend I put myself back on them. It’s not that I care if I’m on meds for all of my life, I actually don’t. I just sometimes forget to take them, and then I forget again the next day, and then I stop thinking I need them and they aren’t a habit anymore. So. Back on the meds.
Baseball is all consuming, have I said this before? It currently takes all out money and all our time, but S loves it and that’s really all that matters. We’ve been taking two cars there a lot so H doesn’t have to spend his life there too, but we also bring him books and his soccer ball and he’s not resenting it yet, so I think we’re okay. S’s position is right field, which makes sense since he’s new and can’t throw as well as some of the other kids. Some of those other kids are GOOD. The first game is Saturday, and we’ll be there with bells on, supporting those kids.
I’m on week 2 of the 21-day fix. I think I’m doing okay; there have been many moments of weakness where I’ve had candy but mostly I’m making good decisions. Packing my lunch and dinner for work every day has helped. The first week I made myself strict full day plans of meals – Monday would be this for breakfast, this for lunch, this for dinner, etc etc etc. This week I’ve made a looser plan that I think will work a little better. I did my meal plan for dinner and made sure I had everything I need for other meals, and I’m otherwise winging it. Tonight I’m making steak stir fry and I had leftover sausage and veggie lentils for lunch, so I made sure I brought fruit and cottage cheese for breakfast for balance.
I am going out for dinner twice this week though, and I’m poring over the menus to see what the best decision is; ideally I’ll find a few options and then pick what makes me happy when I’m there. I’m not being super militant though; I still think it’s about reminding yourself of the smarter, healthier options, but if something else will make you happy, moderation is okay too. This probably will mean I’m not as successful at the Fix, but I’m also thinking more long term. My biggest need is to cut cravings, which I’m still bad at. Candy. This week I’m working harder at that. Portion control is my second need, and I’m doing pretty well with that. Henry has been doing my workouts with me; he actually gets really upset if I start without him or do it while he’s not there. He skips his show to work out with me or help count down or check my form. He was super helpful at yoga because he laid on my back and helped my stretch farther.
(Henry does burpies)
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