Caught

Last night I was washing dishes up while cooking spinach lasagna rolls, thinking about what I had done since getting off work. I had picked up the kids, gone grocery shopping, put all the groceries away, started dinner, cleaned up the kitchen and changed out the laundry, all in about 1.5 hours since I left work. I was thinking of these things, and all of a sudden the though struck me, “hey, I’m a pretty good catch!”

To his credit, my husband has always acted like I am, but it’s a novel idea for me. I don’t question my worth as a friend. I think I’m a pretty damn good friend, although I get stepped on a lot in friendships. I don’t really question my worth as an employee either; I’m a good employee and I know my stuff. But in a relationship, I always feel like the other person settled when they got me.

C and I have been together for more than 11 years, and in a few weeks it’ll be our 7 year wedding anniversary. We have both obviously changed since we met. Stylewise, I was a geeky girl who wore baggy Keroppi pants and Adidas sneakers with Care Bear laces. He had just gotten through his clubbing phase and was still into muscle tees with a little shine to them.  I hated all sports, he spent all his tv time watching National Geophraphic or Sportscenter. I didn’t even know what Sportscenter was. I wouldn’t say either of us has changed drastically by way of hobbies – I still spend most of my me-time reading, and he spends his on the computer. But we’re definitely not those 22-year old kids anymore. I now own MAKE-UP AND MOISTURIZER AND BRAND NAME CLOTHES AND HEELS. I WATCH BASEBALL VOLUNTARILY. 

We sometimes allude to what would happen if we weren’t together anymore. I tell him that I would be lost financially if he died, because he handles all the bills and I detest thinking about money. I do the packing when we go anywhere, and when he does it we end up missing a lot (this weekend he forgot pjs for the kids and himself, and his bathing suit) – he said that would be something that he would be lost doing if it were left to him. Is it morbid to talk about what would happen if one of you died or if you divorced, even when things are good? I don’t know. It works for us.

We’ve grown and changed, but we’ve done it together instead of apart. I appreciate him 90% of the time, and he does the same for me (I have to allot for those times we want to deck each other; I know they happen). We’re good for each other. But now, at 33, I really feel like we have equal footing. I’m a damn good partner. And I have a damn good partner.