Caught

I have a very clear memory of an event that happened when I was six or so.

We were living with my aunt and her mom, and someone had made a large pan of cinnamon rolls. They were sitting on the stovetop, cooling, and I was the only one in the kitchen. I thought, ‘hey, I want to try just a little icing off the edge. No one will notice.’ And I did. But then I had a little more and a little more, and then I dug into a cinnamon roll. Somehow, there was all of a sudden a clear dent in the corner of the pan (about the size of one roll, actually).

My mom came into the kitchen and yelled at me. ‘did you eat a cinnamon roll????’

‘no! no! I didn’t, I swear! It wasn’t me!’

(I had icing on my mouth and hands)

Clearly, I lied and was caught. But I cried like the world was ending, insisting it wasn’t me.

**

Last night, the boys were supposed to be watching a show in my bedroom. I had left the kids’ tablets on my dresser, but I didn’t really think about it. When the show was almost over, they came to see me about something, I don’t even know what. But then Henry tattled on his brother (which I usually scold about more than the offense). BUBBA HAS THE KINDLE UNDER THE PILLOW!

Spencer, running after me: NO I DON’T NO I DON’T NO I DON’T!

(yes, he did)

He cried hysterically and told me he didn’t do it, and I took away the kindle for the next three days. And then, 20 minutes later when he went to bed I told him that taking the kindle away was for the lying and he said okay. So he gets it. He acknowledges he lied. I don’t see it stopping anytime soon though.

When will he stop?

**

The last time we had a major lying/sneaking issue was also centered on the kindle (growing pains with new electronics, it seems). I allowed Netflix on it because he watches a lot of kid’s shows, and he always watches the same shows all the time so I didn’t think it would be an issue. Then a couple weeks ago I walked past him watching SOMETHING and he hid it. Obviously, I had to look, and he was watching some martial arts movie with guns. And then looking at his viewing history he had also tried to watch some R-rated movie called “Bounty Killers”. BOUNTY KILLERS. What part of that sounds like something you would be allowed to watch? What part of the cover picture looks like something you’d be allowed to watch?

But we talked, and I set his Netflix identity appropriately, and now he’s only allowed to access the kids stuff, unless we talk about it and I approve.

Yesterday he asked to watch Arrow. I’ve never watched it, but I have several adult friends who watch. There are certain things that don’t bother me in movies – language, for one. Spencer has always been really good at identifying words he’s not allowed to say, and actually not saying them. Or if he does, we talk about it being an adult word and I don’t hear it again. Non-bloody violence I don’t really have a problem with. I have boys. They like to fight. Action/fighting/etc doesn’t bother me. I don’t really like guns in movies, but if they are I want the blood to be minimal or offscreen. I do take issue with drugs, especially with children doing them, and sexual situations. Romance is okay, but not sexy time. So I looked up Arrow on this website and it was SO HELPFUL. I’m now looking every single thing up on that website to see what I would approve for my children. Because ratings obviously don’t tell the whole story.

Now can we fix the lying?