So yes, it happens that I am pregnant. I haven't really decided how to feel yet, and I haven't been to the doctor yet (June 12 is my appointment) but I've told my mom and a handful of friends. I know I want kids, but the prospect of actually moving on with my life freaks me out a little. I don't really feel like I'm pregnant, except that I'm exhausted and hungry all the time. But really that's not far off the norm anyhow. Really I think that my real problem is that when dramatic things happen, I never know how to deal with it. I've never been one to get excited by Christmas or birthday gifts (I never know what the proper amount of happiness is), and I don't cry for the normal reasons -- weddings, deaths, etc. So I think I just don't know how to react.
I've told myself that the reason I'm not excited yet is because the miscarriage rate is around 20% and I don't want to get my hopes up. Really, I think it's an excuse. I think the real reason is that I've always been told that you don't tell people before 3 months, and I can't get excited about something I can't tell people about. So I'm 6 weeks, and I'm letting the cat out of the bag slowly, like air out of a balloon, without fanfare. I should be due February 1st. It'd be cool to have a groundhog baby. Maybe I could hold her outside in the morning and find out if it'll be a long winter.
Oh, and if you wonder why I refer to the current parasite as "her" ... we can't agree on any boys names.
6 comments:
Yea! How did Christen take it? What was his reaction? You're already talking names, wow!
We've been talking names for years. He's super excited, always rubbing my belly and talking about it.
... it does get me out of doing some things, like taking the dogfood out of the car and stuff :)
Congratulations, even if you don't feel pregnant! I imagine it'll take a while to sink in. I know eventually you'll be more excited. It's probably still a bit unreal.
My husband and I have agreed to talk about having a child once we sell the house and move into a new one. We may decide no after all, but it has been nice to talk about "what if ..." scenarios.
When we first started dating we talked about what if I got pregnant accidentally, but that's about as far as it ever got. And I never did.
wow that's great you write so openly an honestly about the ambiguous feelings of pregnancy. I could totally identify with this even though I've never been pregnant but what you talk about not knowing how to react to big events sometimes is totally me. And yes, congratualations anyway and take extra good care of yourself. I hope it all goes well for you.
zOMG! Jordan told me last night. I saw you messaged me, but I get home late so you were offline.
Anyway, congrats. If it makes you feel any better, I ate too much for lunch today and now I feel pregnant. :(
-b
Well, first - congratulations.
Second, I know how you feel. We didn't want to announce our pregnancy for the same reasons but then we thought that if we did miscarry, we would need the love and support of our friends and family.
Finally, I loved the baby ticker and added it to our sites (archshrk.com - photojulia.com)
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