So I'm 5 days late.
This is the first month that Christen and I decided not to prevent. We aren't trying, per se, but we aren't not trying. I haven't told him yet that I'm late -- I've decided that I would wait until after this weekend (we're going to a friend's wedding) before I get a test. The thing is, if I am -- I'm scared to death. I've always been scared I wouldn't be able to have children, but I'm scared to be pregnant. In my reading there's all these things I shouldn't eat, and things I should and shouldn't do, and ... labor scares the bejezus out of me. My mother's pelvic bones wouldn't shift and she had to have emergency c-sections, and I'm pretty sure I'll have the same issues. My cord was wrapped around my neck and I almost died twice -- who's to say this won't happen to my kid?
Anyhow, I'm only 5 days late. No need to think about these things yet.
4 comments:
I'm sure you don't want to hear this right now, but a wise friend of mine once told me that even if you're not ready now, you have time to get ready.
You and you're probably right, you might not be pregnant, and even if you are, ob doctors are very good at what they do. You'll be fine.
My mom was also born with the cord wrapped around her neck, but none of her children were.
April: Me telling you to calm down a) isn't particularly helpful or b) won't do shit, but...
Calm down. You are going to be FINE. Medicine has come a long, long way. You came out just fine, I came out just fine, and now...there are even better drugs :-) I love you, Christen loves you (which is even more important) and you are going to ROCK as a mommy.
So, take a breath, calm down, and just relax.
(I didn't mean for this to sound unfeeling by any stretch, my love. My sister got pregnant the first time and FLIPPED OUT. If Erica can do it, and survive, you can too.)
It's not so much that I don't think I'm ready; I want kids. Badly, actually. I'm mostly scared of pregnancy. 9 months of aches and pains and worrying about what I'm eating and what is getting to the fetus ... I read too much; this is the issue. I'm reading What to Eat by Marion Nestle and there's all kinds of fish I shouldn't be eating, and hormones, and antibiotics ... I can't afford a purely organic diet! I do drink organic milk though ...
I am vaguely attempting to stay on folic acid supplements though - just in case.
My mom's OB was terrible -- she used him for me and then got stuck with him for my brother and I'll be damn if I'm getting anywhere near his office just in case he ends up being mine (yes, he's still around). I'll shove the kid back in me and try somewhere else if that be the case. :)
I saw your MySpace bulletin and I figured something was up.
Whatever the outcome is, you'll do just fine!
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